I “met” David Carradine a few years ago at the Dragon Fest martial arts convention in Glendale, Calif. It was when I was working on the “Judo” Gene LeBell book so Gene comped me in so I could spend a few minutes here and there standing around his table while he choked out his admirers. People actually walk up to him and want him to render them unconscious with one of his expertly applied sleeper holds. He gives them a patch for this that proclaims, “I was choked out by Gene LeBell.” Gene always wanted to choke me out but I protested telling him that I needed every braincell I had left to write his book. Gene usually disappointedly grumbled at this blast of logic, biding his time until he could try to show me some really painful finger locks. Unfortunately for Gene, I also needed my fingers for typing.

David Carradine was a guest at the Dragon Fest. I’d always been a fan. I watched Kung Fu as a kid. I didn’t care if his eyelids were taped. I didn’t care if his technique was a bad kind of stoner fu. I saw Death Race 2000 when I was way too young to see Death Race 2000. It was the second feature with some other, probably equally child unfriendly film that my mom and sister took me to see at the Redwood City Drive-In. My family wanted to leave once Death Race started but I put up an insane fit. The movie had David Carradine and Rocky in it for Christ’s sake plus really cool cars with teeth! In that wonderful Roger Corman produced exploitation classic, Carradine wore a black leather bondage outfit that resembled a zero budget Darth Vader (the film came out about two years before Star Wars though). Racers run over people for points. If being Kwai Chang Caine wasn’t enough, that movie sealed the deal. David Carradine was the coolest dude ever (with the notable exceptions of maybe Bruce Lee and Elvis).

At the Dragon Fest, I went up to Carradine’s table. He just sat there, slowly doing a newspaper crossword puzzle. “Hello Mr. Carradine,” I said with a kind of awe. He didn’t look up at me. He just sat there behind his folding table where he was presumably trying to move black and white stills of him wearing an obvious bald cap from old episodes of Kung Fu. He also offered a picture of him in a Chinese gi with Uma Thurman from some new Quentin Tarantino flick called Kill Bill. I tried to get through to Carradine again. “How much for an autographed still?” I queried but still nothing. Carradine couldn’t even take the time to blow smoke up my ass to get me to buy an autograph. If I were seven years old, I would’ve been crushed.

Super Con happens in San Jose every May. It's my favorite comic convention. It’s under attended but that’s what I like about it. It doesn’t draw the Hollywood heavyweights that have plagued the San Diego Comic Con recently. At Super Con, I don’t have to spend a weekend being jostled by crazy housewives looking to catch a glimpse of Hugh Jackman’s rippling abs. Super Con is mostly about the comic books – imagine that. It still has that swap meet feel of cons of yore. I scored a copy of Creepy #11 with the Frank Frazetta cover for seven bucks! That’s living. Last year, the biggest Hollywood celeb at the con was the fat guy from Lost. I don’t watch the show, so don’t write in telling me his name and his character’s name. It doesn’t matter. This year the biggest movie star to attend was Bruce Dern.

I talked to Dern for about 15 minutes. He really sold this shit out of this new Joe Dante (The Howling, Piranha) horror flick he’s in called The Hole. I mean he sold the fucker. If you’re casting a movie, put Dern in it because he will promote the living shit out of your movie.

“This is the first 3-D movie where you don’t need glasses,” he exclaimed. “The lenses for this thing cost $600 thousand a piece. We had to rent 'em!” He then leaned over his table to reel me in. “These kids find a hole under their house and in this hole is everything that anybody’s ever been afraid of. All the darkness in all the world is in this hole, only this time, that darkness is in 3-D."

I don’t know about you, but I’m sold. The Hole is scheduled for release in 2010.