While other movie critics are mulling over the merits of "True Grit," "Black Swan" and "The King's Speech," I'm left trying to figure which crappy werewolf movie really distinguished itself this year. There are no standout debuts by Hailee Steinfeld in the straight-to-DVD salt mines that I toil in, but I do get to see man-eating tigers, flesh consuming zombies and a guy wrestling a bear. All categories for this year's best of list are completely arbitrary and created to maximize amusement.

Best Zombie Comic Book Adaptation that didn't get made into a hit show on AMC: "Zombies of Mass Destruction." Some zombie comics get made into a hit miniseries with six million viewers tuning into its debut episode a la "Walking Dead." Others are unceremoniously bundled with a slew of slasher movies into the "After Dark Horror Fest" and then dumped onto DVD. "Zombies of Mass Destruction" is the latter, but that doesn't mean it's not a little bit of fun. With a gay couple and an Iranian girl accused of being an Iraqi terrorist fighting off the cannibalistic corpses, this movie is what would happen if George Romero let John Waters direct "Survival of the Dead."  Although "Zombies of Mass Destruction" takes a little too long to get to the flesh munching, its band of human outcasts provides a welcome contrast to the bickering crackers of "Walking Dead." Now available on Blu-Ray.

Best Movie with a Guy Wrestling a Friggin' Bear: "Knucklehead." In 1977, the late Leslie Nielsen went all Gene LeBell on us and wrestled a bear for William Girdler's eco-horror epic "Day of the Animals." Thirty-three years later, the 7' tall wrestler known as The Big Show (Paul Wight) carries on this rich cinematic tradition by grappling a guy in a bear suit intercut with a blue-screened brown bear in "Knucklehead," an MMA farce from WWE Studios. As for the rest of the movie, we're treated to nun flatulence jokes and an underground bare-knuckled brawl promoted by rabbis in an Orthodox Synagogue. You definitely get the feeling that you could go to hell for watching this thing, but hey, at least you get some bear rasslin.

Best Bit Part by Zach Galifianakis Stretched into Top Billing: "Frenemy" AKA " Little Fish, Strange Pond." Even though Galifianakis came up just short of making it onto Salon.com's "Sexiest Man Living" list, Lionsgate still feels that the beardy funnyman will move more discs at the Redbox than Matthew Modine. Executive Producer Modine does eke out top billing in the actual credit sequence of this surprisingly gory comedy, but it's Galifianakis that's front and center on the DVD's box art. Galifianakis chews up the scenery as a dope-dealing porn shop owner, but chubby chasers be warned, he's jettisoned just before the film's second act. The rest of the movie has Modine walking around LA talking sex and pop culture in a bad British accent before ending up on a tabloid talk show. "Frenemy" is what "Magnolia" would be like if it were made with a "Sharktopus" budget. And speaking of "Sharktopus"….

Best Roger Corman Cameo: "Sharktopus." In sixty years of movie making, schlock legend Roger Corman isn't known for appearing in his movies, but he isn't above it either. We've caught a glimpse of him in such non-classics as "The Day the World Ended" (1955), "Battle of Blood Island" (1960) and "The Wasp Woman" (1959). By the 1970s, Corman's many protégés gave this most prolific movie mentor bit parts in Oscar winning fare, usually in the role of government officials. Coppola cast him as a senator in "The Godfather: Part II" (1974) and Jonathan Demme had him playing the FBI director in "Silence of the Lambs" (1991). But 2010 was a kind of breakout year for Corman as a screen actor with parts in both "Sharktopus" AND "Dinoshark"!  While Roger gets more dialogue in "Dinoshark," his walk on in "Sharktopus" is probably the best thing in the whole movie. Hopefully we'll get to see even more Corman when he gets around to producing the inevitable "Sharktopus vs. Dinoshark."

Best Way to Stay Out of Political Arguments at Family Gatherings: "2010 San Francisco Giants the Official World Series Film." I have a feeling that this official documentary on the Giants recent shellacking of the Texas Rangers helped a lot of families avoid the frustration of endless arguments about Obama over this holiday season—at least in Northern California. Since the Orange and Black beat Texas pretty thoroughly during this series, the level of suspense that this doc manages to generate is a testament to the power of editing. Rob Schneider narrates, but any footage of George W. Bush looking all pissy while his team went down 4-0 in game four was left on the cutting room floor. Although it robs me of the satisfaction of seeing W squirm, this was probably the right choice with regards to family unity.

Best Straight-to-DVD Werewolf Flick: This competition is between the Alan Smithee directed "Neowolf" and "Wolf Moon" with Maria Conchita Alonso and Sid Haig. And the winner is... None, they both sucked. Whether it’s the big-budgeted "Wolf Man" or these two dog-faced turkeys, lycanthropes just can't win this year of the zombie.

Best Straight-to-DVD Horror Sequel: "The Descent, Part 2." If the "Piranha" sequel/remake/reboot/whatever could get a theatrical release complete with inflated 3D ticket prices, then this sequel to the critically acclaimed cave dwelling mutant movie deserved the same. "The Descent, Part 2" really shoulda' made it to the multiplex.

Best Russell Crowe Movie: "Tenderness." This dark character study had a brief theatrical run in late 2009, but it was straight-to-DVD for the rest of us. It's also better than "Robin Hood" or "The Next Three Days."

Best Way to Keep the Incredible Hulk from Patrolling Our Borders: "Planet Hulk." It's been a pretty rough year for the Incredible Hulk. His major movie franchise has had its casting problems and Lou Ferrigno went and made himself into a real life version of the villains from "Machete" by patrolling the Arizona/Mexico border with Steven Seagal. The only bright spot for Ol' Jade Jaws came in the form of "Planet Hulk," a low budget animated feature that's a lot more fun than any of the recent theatrical incarnations of the Green-skinned Goliath.

Best Horror Flick Where Something Actually Happens (non-sequel): "Burning Bright." From the opening scenes where Garret Dillahunt buys a man-eating tiger from Meatloaf (!) and locks his step kids (Briana Evigan and Charlie Tahan) in a boarded up Southern manse with it, "Burning Bright" doesn't look back. This is a welcome relief from your usual Straight-to-DVD horror flick where it takes a painfully long time for anything to happen at all. (I was forced to watch most of "Wolf Moon" in fast forward mode.) "Burning Bright" does use one of the step kid's autism to set up the action making it a bit unsettling in the wrong way, but they don't call 'em exploitation movies for nothing.