Of all the things for Jerry Sandusky to have named his 2001 autobiography, he had to name it "Touched." No really, the creepy Penn State football coach who's been indicted for molesting boys in the showers, titled his book "Touched." I know I've said this twice alreadly (thrice if you count the title), but that's because I can't quite believe it. You can't make this stuff up. No you really can't. You can find most of this ghostwritten atrocity on Google books by clicking here (I tried to embed it, but Open Salon doesn't like the code). I bet this thing is filled with real sick unintentional double entendres, but I'm not going to spend the day looking for them. Hey Internet, have at it. Have a ball.

(You can also write a review of his book on coaching linebackers on Google Books.  "We haven't found any reviews in the usual places," Google says. Imagine  that.)