Frosty Receptions, Lukewarm Sales;
The Worst Book Tour...Ever
(I want to thank and apologize to those who sent me emails and comments. While on the book tour I was without internet (or cell phone reception) and after the icestorm, I lost heat and electricity while staying in a Vermont hotel. To answer questions I received while away, about snowmen, my book and publishing in general, I put it in the form of the following index. What was the advance? How much do I get for my TV appearances? Was that the first cover? It’s all here. For designers, a section of the cover selection process. For fans of the book, I have footage from the tour. For those who send me nasty emails, an index chock-full of my woes to savor. There’s a little something here for everyone in this FUN-PAK!)
Mishap Index
Total miles traveled for the book tour : 1,435
Total number of History of the Snowman books sold on tour : 41
Number of states visited : 7
Number of ways I could have been more productive : 1,000,000
Rank of reasons the Schenectady event was poorly attended; poster listed wrong location, poster listed wrong time, lack of interest : 1, 2, 3
Number of hecklers at the Brattleboro live snowman presentation : 3
In miles per hour, the average wind speed evening of Albany book event : 35
Number of degrees that evening with wind chill factor : -1
Number of customers who attended the live presentation : 1
Amount, in US dollars, lost because the NY Times could not reach me for a job : $1,200
Amount, in US dollars, I made that same evening at an Albany, NY book event : $10
Number of radio interviews I did during the book tour : 8
Number of showers taken during the same time period : 3
Number of hours spent for People magazine photo-shoot : 4
Number of photos of myself which appeared in last week’s feature of my book : O
Amount paid for appearing on Good Morning America : one hot chocolate
Amount I suggested on Martha Stewart to tip a snowman-maker : one hot chocolate
Number of Open Salon bloggers who asked for a free copy of my book to prepare
for an interview or review : 3
Number of them who got back to me or thanked me : 0
Time spent trying to find the first snowman : 6 yrs.
Time spent trying to find my missing glove during the trip : 6 days
Time it would take, at this pace, to break even on the book : approx. 6 yrs.
Number of copies slated for initial print-run : 50,000
Number, in weeks, after book was bought by publishing head that he stepped down : 5 Number of editors the “orphaned” book went through : 5
Actually size of the print-run for book after it changed hands : 20,000
Size of it's recent reprint : 15,000
Size of print-run for Jenna Bush’s Ana’s Story : 500,000
Amount, in US dollars, Ana’s Story received as a book advance : $300,000
Amount, in US dollars, my book received as a book advance : $35,000
Sales rank last week of Ana’s Story on Amazon : 68,000
Sales rank last week of The History of the Snowman on Amazon : 1,500
Number of publishers The History of the Snowman was shopped to : 12
Number who gave a bid at auction : 4
Number of covers created for The History of the Snowman book : 35
Number of times I suggested to my agent we walk because of
the cover the publisher picked : 2
Number of times my agent told me to get over myself : 2
Number of snowmen in my personal collection : 800
Amount, in US dollars, spent buying snowmen on ebay and flea markets : $ 6,500
Amount, in US dollars, spent on photo, quotation rights and cartoon reprints : $40,000
Amount, in US dollars, spent on research & expenses for the book : $15,000
Amount offered to walk away and let someone else
write it as a children’s book : $15,000
Amount, in US dollars, spent on advertising the book
on MySpace and Facebook : $1,100
Getting a letter from Python Michael Palin telling me my book was funny : priceless
A Picture Says, Give or Take,
a Thousand Words
Photos of the icestorm which crippled my tour. Nature at it’s most beautiful and most inconvenient. This road was the only way to get out of town in Wilmington, VT to book events east and I had no cell phone reception to let people know what dates I couldn't make.
(Don’t tell anyone, but I had a good time anyway–it was beautiful, I went cross-country skiing and there’s something empowering about being involved in a news story.)
Judging a Book by its Cover
The following is a sampling of rejected book covers created for the book; 
It's Raining Snowmen, Hallelujah!
Dear fans of the snowman; You'll want to read "Snowmen Gone Wild" about snowmen with a drinking problem now on Smithsonian.com.
An old Open Salon blogger did a fun interview with me recently–some of you may remember him, John Savo a.k.a. The Authoring Auctioneer. While I didn’t always agree with his politics I was a fan of his work and very sorry he left OS. He is a very good writer–funny and full of energy. An excerpt from our interview;
Authoring Auctioneer: If you died tomorrow, what would be the five things you would miss the least?
Bob Eckstein: Menudo.
What's next for the snowman book? Click on the Play button to see the opening credits of a TV special being pitched by a brilliant production company called Fullmind Creative. Channels like Travel, History and HBO have expressed interest in seeing a script. I’ve been unhappy with anything I’ve come up with so far–either it’s too jokey (jeopardizing the book’s authenticity) or not funny enough (undermining my initial goal of injecting humor into real history)–but now with studios making graphics to woo me I feel like I better step up to the plate...soon. Realistically, short of making a snowman on Oprah’s yard, a Christmas special is the only chance of this book getting the exposure it needs to being an perennial seller. (What are my goals for the book? I’m not sure.)
Finally, to answer one last question...what is my next project? My next two books include a cartoon collection with a green theme (completed last summer) and a graphic novel of a diary from 1850. It’s a comedy about the perils of arctic exploration that predates the snowman book and a project I’ve been working on for ten years. I recreated the interior of a captain’s quarter as my office to write the book and refitted the computer and equipment into old ship instruments. To see my office, click here.
Promise not to grovel for a book again for a long time.
Con Chapman
Tom Falco
kitd
diary of a food addict
Leah At Law
Amy A
Salon.com
Comments
And hey, Michael Palin!! That IS priceless.
I absolutely sympathize with you from the musician's side of the house. Keep at it, at least you're PUBLISHED, right? There's always a bright side...not too bright, though, don't want to melt the snow...
Rated.
I like all the covers. What a difficult job to select. I know things will pick up. We are in difficult economic times. No one is buying much, except for Apple products and booze.....
I intend to buy a couple.......It will build for you..slowly perhaps.....
Glad you're OK.
...Randy, all good. I'll delete your first link as instructed. More later, I have to run to the mechanic. I hit a deer. Everyone is fine. The deer got up and is fine. The car not so much.
And I thought publishing was a glamorous world! At least you seemed to enjoy parts of the big ice storm. i will take Kerry's suggestion to heart and order a book from Randy. Best wishes for the holidays.
If you're going to buy the book anyway (and it is in amazingly short supply), why not route your money toward the author and to independent business. Before you take this route, ask your local independent bookseller for the book.
You might not get the book in time for Christmas, but last time I checked, Winter hasn't even started officially. Of course, many of us have experienced it already, unofficially, Not least Bob.
Thanks for the hair raising education. I hope the book is a long term wonder .
http://tinyurl.com/phc-oct4-seg3
(drag the tab about halfway through, or you'll have to listen to the letters section. )
History of the Snowman
Bob, you are one seriously dedicated hard worker...you put this particular dilettante to shame, not that that's all that hard to do, I shame easy. I love your sense of humor, I love the youtube videos and I love your steampunk office recreations.
I have the book on order from Randy, best investment I've made in a long time. Thanks.
Great piece. Multi-woofed and pawed.
WOOF
Can we please talk about writing a screenplay based on this?
(Ushering in gesture) Step into my office...
Bob, your cartoon and your mishap index are a riot! But Michael Palin - really?! I'd give up a kidney for his stamp of approval. Good luck with getting the deer damage fixed.
When I worked in publishing, I always dreamed of rising high enough in the ranks that I wouldn't have to personally wrap artwork for mailing. Never happened. I see the industry has lost none of its glamour.
WOOF
https://destinationsbooksellers.theretailerplace.com/MLB/actions/searchHandler.do
Love this post! Holiday cheer all around!
Thanks for this.
Snowballed.
I'm just saying.
In the meantime, I'll satisfy my all-things-snowy lust by driving the 7 or 8 hours to Durango tomorrow. I hope the snow will be just a wee bit damper so that snowman building is not an insurmountable task. It is snowing there now. A winter storm warning is in place and the showers are forecast to fall through Friday evening when we board the Polar Express to the North Pole. And we don't come home until Sunday!
As you can see, this is the perfect book for me (even though I am giving it to the entire family). And my two cents? Even though I like the cover, your engraving is my favorite, Towers of London or not.
Great job, Bob. I look forward to Christmas Day!
(Scroll down to "Gimme Shelter" to see one of the designs rejected for mine! http://www.wordsarepictures.co.uk/)
And I'm hip deep in admiration for your ability to stay sane and funny in the midst of all this.
your office is the coolest place ever! Now I'm inspired to theme my office - it's really a nook that is under 5x8 feet - which is really just organized chaos.
As usual, this is extra delightful and funny. The index of woes was hysterical, but telling. I know a bit about the book publishing business and how (non)lucrative it is, so I hope for you that a script for a funny-but-true History of the Snowman comes to fruition.
Really. Get on that. I want to see it!
I've heard horror stories from authors about the dreaded book tours. Your experience is more common I think than not. That guy that wrote Tuesdays with Morrie had similar experiences and he was kind of famous! Not that you're not, but you know what I mean.
The ice storm pictures were beautiful and daunting. Thanks for this great report...enjoy a well deserved rest and I look forward to reading your book.
https://destinationsbooksellers.TheRetailerPlace.com/MLB/actions/searchHandler.do?key= 9781416940661&nextPage=bookDetails&parentNum=11581
Where 9781416940661 is the book's ISBN.
Again, sorry for the links that are bollixed or incomplete. I'm actually pretty good at that kind of stuff, but...
I bought a couple of copies (for gifts) after reading the previous blog post. I need to get one for myself now. It looks like it'll be a wonderful and fun read.
It's the hard-knock life, I know. But buddy, you are hella funny. Me, I know. :-D
Thumbed for your determination, illumination, and simple intestinal fortitude.
Good cover. All that kitschy snowglobe stuff would have just confused people. You want the conceptual humour reader, not the Victorian knick knack buyer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, and YD, did you make this up:
"Snowman hits deer. Deer unhurt. Snowman melts in tears." :-).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Too Funny!
i wonder how much longer book tours will exist.
i can't believe there were that many covers. it's actually a testament to interest on the project on both side.
the orphaning is the worst, though. that rarely ends well.
you seem to be recovering moderately well, though. a second year of hardback and a (second?) book tour is a big deal.
and you're rising on amazon, up around 3,000, which is really hot.
I LOVE your office! All those gizmos... fantastic! Best wishes for lots and lots and lots of success Bob! :)
The Chocolate Snowman Murders
Beware, the Snowman
The Abominable Snowman Doesn't Roast Marshmallows
A Snowman Named Just Bob (!)
Snowman in a Box (ooh, ahh!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then I go hunting for snowman related murder... crime....
"Inside Frosty's mangled torso; Matt found a screwdriver and footprints on the nylon."
"Phallic Frosty the Snowman"
...a quote from a Jo Nesbø book:
"The Snowman murders only when the first snow falls, choosing unfaithful wives as his victims and literally turning them into snowmen."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who knew snowmen were such a perverse lot?
Randy, thank you for help. (I thanked him in an email but wanted him to be thanked in public.)
I would like to write to many of these comments but publicly let me add...I loved the Garrison Keillor Book Tour Blues...I really hit a deer, a very large one and I'm now driving a hybrid rental...Caveat, your comments had me laughing out loud...I am anxious to check out the links sent! These comments have been really curious as to what other's experiences have been...Yes, Michael Palin is/was really nice. He asked if when he comes to New York I can make time to meet. I'll have to look at my busy schedule...The hecklers; An art historian with two of his supporters came to the Brattleboro show to dispute my claim of the 1389 illuminated manuscript illustration of the grotesque snowman I found in the Royal Library at the Hague. In the middle of the film I show and narrate over, he let out this huge outburst and interrupted the presentation claiming that no such illustrations existed. I took the low road and made fun of him. He and his entourage left without purchasing a book...Office; Marcel, I know people who have converted closets into the coolest offices. Your 5' x 8' if anything is too large...Yes, Canada has the book. Somewhere. If you or anyone would like to buy the book but can't just let me know. I did 12 radio interviews there and was supposed to be on their biggest morning show but we couldn't work it out this year schedule wise. I love Canada, especially Quebec City...Videos won't open; some browsers give people trouble and I suspect if you switched you'll find sites working better for you...Philbrick! His In the Heart of the Sea got this started. I was given the book by a man who was like 400 lbs. and sat not just next to me but under me. It was a long flight and we became very close. He gave me the book and after I fell in love with it I contacted the agent and editor and said I wanted to write a book for them. Sent them a cover letter. Mentioned I enjoyed them on NPR. Included a book proposal and tearsheets. The editor broke my heart and told me the manuscript for In the Heart of the Sea was a mess and that agents now have to be editors. Told me a good book was 90% cover art, 9% idea, 1% writing. I weighed the pros and cons of agents I was considering and actually went with David Black because they have a very good record. Tuesdays With Morrie were them, Warren B., etc, so, no brainer...How did I get any agent's attention? I believe the key is writing in a big city a weekly or regular column, developing a brand name. It's tricky without some little name recognition. I believe it is the way to go and could even be done here. I'd be happy to elaborate if anyone wishes to hear more...and I'd be welcome to learn from what you know to help me and fill in the blanks...Dave, your book tour is going to be great...does it include Vermont?
Here in L.A., we passed around copies of your book in various Secret Santa/White Elephant proceedings. And I have to say, during the swapping phase, they were fought over more than DVDs. An enjoyable, fun – and fact-filled – book. Thanks for that, too.
(my friend wrote "The Island of Lost Maps" about traders in ancient maps, and boy did he take some flack from those people.
i have heard you have to be particularly careful about describing early trains. those people are apparently easy to unsettle. i'm not kidding.
good advice on the branding, etc. to get a book deal. there are lots of ways to go about it, but one way or another, it helps greatly to establish some sort of platform and also a track record.
(i think publishers feel, for one thing, that author is not an entry-level position--or rarely. i think OS is a good entry point for a lot of people.)
i've been thinking that some of us should set up some sort of QA forum for people getting into the field looking for info/advice on how to proceed. i know i felt kind of lost. it was a great benefit to have gone to undergrad with a lot of writers, and then spent several years away from doing it as a profession. that gave several peers time to get ahead of me in the process and pave the way. it didn't open doors, but they sure answered a million questions.
i'm afraid no vt. not even chicago, which shocked me, since i grew up there and have lots of ties, and it's the third largest city i the country. my publicist's reasoning made sense, though. those guys take a lot of trashing, but he's brilliant.
i think a lot of the publishing system is fucked up and especially out-dated, and could use an overhaul, but it's not for lack of talented people. i don't know about you, but certain quarrels and a whole lot of painful hurdles aside--and it took me three different publishers to get this one into print--i've dealt mainly with incredibly bright people.
plus, they are up against huge odds: try to find original voices writing great new stuff, artfully in ways that a visual-oriented public will buy, and then get the little paper stacks out to 300 million of them who are not paying attention. tough job.
on my tour, i got the tentative list from my publicist a couple days ago and haven't gotten to posting it yet, but here it is:
- launch in denver/boulder april 6
- east coast leg shortly after: a few days in NYC, then possibly DC and Miami
- then west coast leg of LA, SF, Seattle and possibly Portland.
that's it. a lot of "tours" are now spread out, where you actually do one city at a time, for one night, and then another 3-5 days later. in my case, it will be condensed, because there's only two weeks between pub date and columbine's tenth anniversary (april 6 and 20).
so everything will probably take place in the those two weeks.
And the comparison to Ana's Story? Guess what, she's a First Daughter, her ghost-writer probably writes better than you and has published more than you, and the story of a child met through UNICEF suffering from AIDS and abuse is a lot more compelling than a book about snowmen. Bush may be the worst president ever, but I'm more likely to buy Ana's Story now that you've pointed it out (likelihood: still "not at all") than your book.
Stick to writing columns and be glad you can make a living writing at all in today's economy, and continue milking the Palin blurb for all it's worth.
Seriously if you think your travails in pimping this book are the slightest bit extraordinary, you needed to spend some time sitting down with someone in the business who wasn't selling to you for a long chat--or just read a few of the equally whiny, self-absorbed "travails of a new author" articles published on Salon.
Maybe I'm just missing your joke.
“Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.”
Dale Carnegie
When my book came out my publisher told me they were banking on good reviews and word of mouth -- in retrospect I wished I'd put my advance toward hiring a publicist as is frequently advised these days... Maybe next time.
Good luck with the book - look forward to checking it out!
These ain't the best of times. If you think newspapers are in dire straits, read my e-mails from the publishing industry. And the worst part is that they are making decisions that will of necessity cause sales to drop even further.
It is more brutal than you can imagine, and you really can't equate quality with sales. This released in 2007, late in the year. I've told Bob that the same book, same price, but released as a paperback, would have skyrocketed. But you can't believe the resistance to a hardcover that looks like it's a $25-30 book.
And it's good. And Ana's Story? 'Tweren't. There are real books and then there are celebrity books. Only occasionally do they cross paths.
In any case, you are too harsh, and I can think of no worse time in my life to be trying to relaunch a seasonal book. No worse time. Kudos to Bob for toughing out the tour and the vicissitudes of an industry that's literally running scared right now.
Although you self-corrected slightly with your follow-up post, I think your first rant is exactly the type of thing that makes some aspects of the Internet so utterly foul-- people feel far too comfortable being rude to people they've never met. Now, I won't presume to know how you treat people when you meet them in person-- perhaps you are blunt and in-your-face, always "telling it like it is." But your message strikes me as another example of useless online snark that serves no purpose except to be hurtful.
(Unless your purpose was to say some nasty things in a bid for attention, in which case I have played right into your hands. Regardless, your initial post came across as mean-spirited.)
I recently purchased Mr. Eckstein's book. As it turns out, it is delightful. Highly recommended.
Happy Holidays.
Bob, as the survivor of a 25 city book tour a couple of years ago, I was nodding my head, laughing and growing and wincing all the way through.
Love the cover. Have ordered two copies from my local independant bookseller.
Thanks for the story. Glad you were able to find humor in what had to be a pretty discouraging experience. One of my best friends is a recovering book publicist and the whole experience seems to be pretty thankless all around.
You might enjoy this account of an author sharing a table with ex-wrestler Bret "The Hitman" Hart at a book fair: http://www.usnews.com/blogs/robert-schlesinger/2008/11/19/bret-hitman-hart-and-me-wrestling-with-book-sales.html
and thanks to mortimer for expressing all my reactions to that strange mean-spirited post.
here's someone who has both a critical hit and modest commercial success--great success for a first time author--and is still happy to laugh about himself and his troubles, and that's who you choose to rip a new one?
i've seen a lot of whining on the web, and this ain't it. i found it very funny, but that's a matter of taste. i don't see the whining charge holds up, or why you would want to attack someone for being an artist, following their dream and doing well at it.
Just a small reality check from the world of indie publishing. I enjoyed the post and actually thank you for its informational value.
Clueless-local-celebrity-radio-host: "So...you've got a book signing tonight...hey, tell me...have you ever had a book signing and nobody came?"
Burke: [pause] "I have found that I don't have to go looking for humility because humility finds me of its own accord."
For the record, your favorite book cover is my favorite too.
Very enjoyable read. Thank you.
Gotta love those Snowman laxative ads. Hard to believe that Lash's Bitters is not still around. Maybe they should have focus grouped that name?
I promise I will not be another one of the OS reviewers who doesn't make your index.
No, I had/having alot fun and complaining for comic effect, of course...actually I have to share one day some of the more outrageous (yet true) entries I left off of the index...
Ex. Number of seconds it took for me to realize I was sitting in the wrong hotel room by accident with a woman in the shower : 22
If you happen to get a chance, I'm on Good Morning America, Christmas day...
You are a trooper! I find your journey in the publishing world fascinating tho' a bit depressing. You, however, have such a wonderful way of making lemonade out of lemons!
ALways a great read- keeps a smile on my face!
Good luck in 2009!!!!
Hugs, S
good luck and enjoy it.
i expect that will spike sales much more than the whole book tour. though the tour may have helped land it in some way. or not.
Ex. Number of seconds it took for me to realize I was sitting in the wrong hotel room by accident with a woman in the shower : 22
OMG, that happened to me once when I was escorted to a room in a fancy hotel by a bell-man. It was I who figured out that we were in the wrong room. Needless to say, no tip that day! I just hope the person in the shower never found out!
Bob - My copies of the book were extremely well received as presents at Christmas, and I am now going to have to buy more because there are friends clamoring! It is too fun a read to do without. And I think your post here should go out with each new book. You are one funny dude.
Wow. This is showpiece. Excellent chronicling of your adventures in book tour land. And damn! How proud of yourself you must be!
Your wit is astounding. There are so many things I loved about this post I'm actually going to have to go back through it a bit and remind myself....
"Number of Open Salon bloggers who asked for a free copy of my book to prepare
for an interview or review : 3
Number of them who got back to me or thanked me : 0 "
Nice, gotta love that.
The pictures were amazing. Absolutely breathtaking.
The menudo thing made me laugh my ass off. How are you so quick?
And I'm definitely sold on the book. You're right behind Chelsea Handler, man. ;)
The sad thing is, you really are. I love that bitch
Rated.
I can't believe all you got from "Good Morning America" was a hot chocolate. But did they have a stylist do your hair and make-up and all that sort of thing? Now I'm definitely over my envy of writers who get on "Good Morning America"