Bob Eckstein

Bob Eckstein
Location
New York City, New York,
Birthday
February 27
Title
Snowman Expert
Company
Publisher of Today's Snowman.com
Bio
Ex-cartoonist/illustrator/writer. Author of The History of the Snowman; From the Ice Age to the Flea Market Twitter; snowmanexpert

Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 28, 2009 3:58PM

The Best Advice on Your First Novel, Part IV; ADD VAMPIRES!

Rate: 45 Flag

 zombies

Welcome to Part IV of my eighteen part series, Best Advice For Writing Your Novel, which I’ll admit may or may not have begun with John Blumenthal's post and Caroline Hagood's but the ideas were flying so fast and furious it was hard to keep track. That said, I’m sure they would be only happy for me that I was given a large advance to write The Best Advice on Writing a First Novel for Dummies.*

While John Blumenthal's post illustrated the ridiculous (and realistic) odds of writing a successful novel, my retort did not include success as a criteria for writing a novel. It doesn’t have to be. Walk into any Barnes & Noble and do the math. They are 3 million different titles on the shelf. Hard to get noticed. There is probably not one single tortured soul making a living writing poetry (teaching and bumper stickers doesn’t count). Yet it’s never been easier to write a novel.

window-display
 
I’m pretty sure Ernest Hemmingway never handled a hot-glue gun to make styrofoam mobiles or had to set up his own window displays. This is Barnes & Noble at Lincoln Center. A proud and yet humiliating moment.

Books are not a great business model and most won't pay your electricity bill but it’s about getting your voice out, sharing your art. Guerilla advertising stuff. Beth Mann left a insightful comment that hit a nerve with me on Part III of this series. Here’s an excerpt;

“...Once upon a time, when I was a performance artist and did all this experimental theater, I wrote a piece called The Dog. I was getting ready for my first performance one evening. I was on the bill with a few other excellent artists, very excited, very proud. I called my mother and expressed to her my excitement. She said, "Well, I hope this turns into something for you eventually." I could have smacked her. Here I was, making something happen–I created my own show. The house was sold-out. I would receive good reviews and great feedback. But more than anything, I was an artist emerging. This IS that something, I wanted to tell my mom. THIS is it.

“But we're always thinking–especially for the creative arts–that there's some magical pot of gold and if you don't have that, you're just...in waiting...I'm not waiting.”

(Go here for the whole song and dance, literally, at The Best Advice on Writing a First Novel: DANCE!)
 
businessmen trick treatin

An example I have personally is an app in the Apple Store. It’s one of the first of just an individual’s work, in my case, my cartoons. Apple sells it for 99¢ but there is no chance that the developer, distributor or I will make money from it. The cost goes to expenses and all of us just break even at best. It’s not even really viable as a branding campaign. It is what it is–sharing cartoons with others and enjoying the art. And that’s fine.

(If anyone here has an iPhone, I would like to give you this app free as a thank you for supporting my snowman book. Just write me a private email. I’ll stop at ten.)

I was just at a book event at Barnes & Noble in Park Slope, New York for The Vampire’s Handbook and while there I asked the manager if they carried my book. It’s a huge brand new store and I figured it didn’t hurt to help myself while I made the hour trip there. He said it was a personal favorite and that he gave it to his dad last year for Christmas.

That’s why you want to write a book. When you get an email from poet P.K. Page or a handwritten note from Michael Palin saying he enjoyed the book. Because some woman wants you to sign and draw little snowmen on 50 copies she’s giving away for charity. For the free bottle of water you get at signings that says, yes you’re a writer. Because your mom told everyone on her job. You do it because there’s a 70 yr-old woman sitting in the front row wearing a snowman sweater and snowman earrings. Because of that scary goth girl in Border’s who asks you back to her car after your appearance. That’s why you become a writer.  

  Witches decaf2
 
 
 
In Part IV, I will interview journalist (Wired and Fast Company) and author Adam Penenberg. Adam, a J-school professor at NYU, just wrote the hot book Viral Loop; From Facebook to Twitter, How Today’s Smartest Businesses Grow Themselves and I’ll ask him questions about getting your book or idea out there and into people’s hands.
 
* I’m kidding. I kid.

 

 


 

 

 

 

  snow

 

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Who knew scary goth girls were into Snowman Experts? This is a interesting post and that Beth Mann's point is great. The gist of this is that if one is into writing/art for the money then one is likely to be disappointed. The same can be said for teaching. The reward is in being able to do -- one does not have to wait for vacation to enjoy the day or evening.
Crap, Dorinda got here first. Well, I love this post. I was at a local literary fest on a YA panel and we were joking that "it's all about vampire fucking" these days. Haha.

Thanks. I'll share this post.
Beat ya to first ;0)
This is a wonderful post--both verbally and visually--and I'm honored to be mentioned in it.
Thanks for the mention. As a result of it, I got a 3 book deal at Scribners. I never knew you had this much power.
R
Bob, there are no limits.

Hope. Believe. Write.

Hope (the writer)
You also left out the millions of us who try to get work from the two pages we write called a Resume`.
Great story so tied in with others here. Generous offer too:) I think I would rather have you autograph my copy though :)
They give you free water?!?
Bob, I do apologize.

I just updated the headline on my entry from last night.

The header is now, "Best Freakin' Writing Advice Ever. Really. Ever and Ever."

Sorry to disappoint. :) Nice try here. :)

Hope
I think snowmen are nicer than vampires. I have so much to learn, Bob. I like writing, but I don't think of my writing as art. At least not yet. Maybe someday. I seem to have missed a couple in this series. I'm off to backtrack. Nice work!
Thanks for the comments. To clarify, I'm just being a smart-ass above and it's a bit of a lame post (I do like the top cartoon but...). I don't recommend anyone taking advice from me (my wife is nodding yes as I write this).
...should add, I wasn't joking that I'm a fan of Beth Mann (she's whip smart funny) and that I really liked her comment I've included here (I also like John Blumental and Carolina Hagood and thank them for being good sports.).
This is good advice. If you are looking for pinnacle moments, they are fleeting. I mean, when have you 'made it' for most artists? Getting your work out there and getting appreciation is a big step.
What, you didn't pay them to make your own window display?
Bob...we should reserve the word "awesome" for pieces like this.

(Actually, we should reserve "awesome" for Glacier National Park and Michelangelo's David and the Elliott Randall guitar solo on "Reelin' in the Years." How about "funny" and "great advice" for yours?)
And for those that want to try their hand, there's no better time than the present. November is National Novel-Writing Month. Short description - "Write 50k words of long fiction in 30 days". It is VERY doable for just about anyone. Feel free to PM me, or check out nanowrimo.org, if you want more information. I am not employed or affiliated in any way, except that I've participated 7 times.
Damn, Bob. This is a freakin' mini-series.

(I'm wearing my Snowman pajamas right now!)
Great post.
Love the window display at Lincoln Center, even if you set it up. (The only window display I ever got for Solo Traveler was in my little Westchester Village local bookstore. And even that wasn't easy.)
You're really great, Bob. I don't manage to get here enough these days.
Enjoyed your post; interesting and funny! Rated, yes!
But how do you kill a vampire snowman? That's what I want to know.
Thanks, Bob! I'm glad we're talking about this. It's like the "other side" that goes a little undermentioned. And you did a great job of giving it due.

"Because of that scary goth girl in Border’s who asks you back to her car after your appearance."

Funny. Another surprising perk that goes undermentioned.

I'm kidding! I kid! Ha....
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

Everyone loves you. And hates me now.

Have you read my latest?

Your bratty little sister,

Hope
Having finally gotten around to writing my book after fifty years of procrastination, I can second everything you say in this post. I would also be remiss if I didn't add the line that every publisher secretly utters to every budding author:

"I vant to suck your blood."
Hypocrite !

One the one hand you marginalize Vampires and with the other you accept a free bottle of snowman blood.
Your very own iPhone App. Coolness.
Love the witches, Bob and I've traveled the path of which you speak. Creating things that affects others can be fulfilling, especially when time has passed between when you created it and when you're confronted with someone's appreciation for it. It makes me feel like I've done something worthwhile and I realize not many people have had that kind of opportunity. I've been fortunate to have heard back from people who own my art and it's remarkable to have people value your autograph, isn't it? When I was facing eviction and went through all my possessions, I revisited a box filled with letters of appreciation from my first book and it made me teary-eyed. The same has been true with Boneless Chuck and cancer patients. When you're art communicates and those with whom it has touched are generous enough to tell you, wow, that is a special feeling many artists never receive. Well written and illustrated as always!
Thank you very much Graham...and for all the other views shared and words of encouragement across the board.
I loved the idea of the woman in the kitschy sweater and earrings...they are the best, you know? It's amazing to be living art finally. I truly understand your words. For those of us, like me, who have been hiding in the proverbial artist closet, stepping out was a challenge. The rewards have been infinite. I am living my art here...no book deals...no rewards...no accolades...but plenty of great company. I am grateful.
So nice! Car Deal Expert is a new website that offers great advice on car financing, but also has some outstanding deals on new car loans and used auto loans – and they didn't need a bail out!
These short animations will tell you all you need about trying to get your novel published:

On Meeting An Agent (Episodes 1 to 5 of 8)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkxdALqPkYM

On Meeting An Agent (Episodes 6 to 8 of 8)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dumQ3dhl4aU
Bob,

I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY PUT THIS ON THE FREAKIN' COVER!

I may have to cancel my subscription now! There is no justice! :)

Your bratty little sister,

Hope
P.S. Where is my piece? It got buried. No one read it. No one cared. There's no justice here! The editors all hate me! :)

Hope
What's your advice about the first novel that sits on your computer for years??? Great post!
Hey Starving: After I met Bob, I went out and BOUGHT HIS FREAKIN' BOOK and he never mentions me or my experiences with my imaginary literary agent Adele (okay there's only one post) or y post about mashing up the classics with vampires or zombies (okay, I accidentally deleted that post). Never mind, I haven't had my coffee. The point is, Bob can draw and write and probably sing and dance and he's not exactly hard on the eyes so he's bound to "own" Cartoon Saturdays. And he deserves it ;-)
(as do you Starving)
The drawings are nicely done, and the captions are good and taut.
You kidder!

You're so hilarious. And now, everytime I wear my snowman pullover and my matching snowman ear rings, I'll be thinking about why you write.

Thanks for putting a smile on my face first thing in the morning - I love that
Bob- Dynamite post!!

Con- many of the older cartoonists are jealous of Bobs taught captions.
“How would you feel about adding some nudity to your cartoon?”
I loved every word of this, and every word is true. The pictures aren't bad either ;-D
My thought exactly, that apparently to get a novel published, it should contain vampires.....Having written a novel myself and having dealt with agents and publishers...well, all I can say, is what a ridiculous industry!! They're just like movie and TV industry types with its lack of creativity and attempts to copy each other's successes!

What a country!!
it is not for the faint hearted, and get ready to have every person in your life dismiss you.
Actually in one of the unpublished letters from Hemingway to Max Perkins, Hem laments having to stay up all night in the old Scribner's store on Fifth Avenue and pasting a bell mobile together using only children' s school paste and a brush made of the tail of a fighting bull which claims to have cut off with his teeth in a moment of exuberance in the ring.
Nikki, is that your hilarious way of suggesting that I finally post a photo of myself with my blog. That will not be happening at the moment.

You seem to be hinting that Bob's success here is due in no small part to his appearance. OK. It's time to reveal a few more details about the Starving Ronzoni Girl.

I could stop traffic on a busy day in the Mews. There are a handful of people laughing at that joke now. You must know the Village well to know that's freakin' hilarious.

If it will help me increase my portion here then, I am happy to tell everyone that one of my oldest and dearest friends loves to say that I am striking. He tells me that men drool when they see me. Of course, that sort of behavior makes me lose interest immediately. My friend will also say that I am every man's dream come to life because I am easy on the eyes and I barely speak.

As I understand it from my dating experience, that seems to be what most men are looking for. :)

Hope
P.S. I can sing and dance too. I hope that helps me make my case.
I like what has been said (by Beth and others) about this "moving towards the Pot of Gold." the gold is in the processes of creation, always has been...I have had the same line handed to me while standing at the opening of one of my Museum Exhibitions: "Well, I hope this leads your work to where you want it to be." or "So where is this activity taking you for your future?"

Holly crapstick!! What the hell do they think I'm doing here? With the mindset that comes (mostly from family)from naysayers, we find ourselves in an eternal transitory state...never fully realizing the end state, or final realm of happiness and riches. Our rest, enriches exalted state of being is always "just over the next hill."
Sorry.........it's the journey/process.
BTW Bob...this post ROCKS....hard and it is in process, a real place to be...
Gary, that's the key to life. Accept that the journey is as good as it gets because there's nothing there waiting for you at the end. There is no "top of the mountain" to reach, no wait till my book takes off or pot of gold because there is always someone above you making more, getting more accolades so you never feel like the journey is complete...that doesn't mean I practice what I preach and don't have these thoughts myself–I keep waiting for my career to turn the corner. When will I get it through my thick skull, there is no corner?
Bob,.......I think it came through.......just now
so.....I guess we can all relax..........sure.......

Happy Halloween!
I have experienced the pain of a rejected first novel, myself. It was about a love triangle with a comparitive lit professor and a Komodo Dragon. But as much as we try to dull the pain of rejection with drugs or alcohol, or meaningless sex with strangers we meet at monster truck rallies, it is only quite reflection and an appreciation of life's gifts that can get us through the day. Anyway, that's my take on things.
The real trick is in writing your second novel. You are educated enough to have written the first but are you brave enough to do it again knowing all that you've learned?
Great post! I'm just trying to figure out how to get my blog posts picked up and get a wider audience.
@Starving: it's Bob's ability to draw, write and succinctly hit the bullseye of contemporary angst that puts him at the forefront
@Joan: I had a similar novel idea rejected, only mine involved a hobbit. My experience of the ensuing madness was the same.
@Bob: I think Starving has a crush on you
Well, you say you're being a smart ass but it seems pretty spot on to me. And I would say it applies to the second, third and fourth novel, too. I know I do it because it's fun and I like it. Glad your snowmen are getting some love.
Thanks for getting your voice out. I enjoy it.
That wasnt my comment but someone hacking my acount and pretending to be Joan.
Israeli forces storm into holiest place on earth:

http://joshfulton.blogspot.com/2009/10/israeli-police-storm-jerusalems-holiest.html
I stopped by first because I liked the cartoon, but I came back to read the rest when I had time. I'm glad I did. Your post is inspiring!
Go to peace n love in the world
God is always with us. May the peace and prosperity of the world can be created. Indonesia We invite bloggers to participate reconciling the world. We finished all the hostility and war that had happened. Indonesian peace-loving
Regards :
kerja keras adalah energi kita
kerja keras adalah energi kita
Go to peace n love in the world
God is always with us. May the peace and prosperity of the world can be created. Indonesia We invite bloggers to participate reconciling the world. We finished all the hostility and war that had happened. Indonesian peace-loving
Regards :
kerja keras adalah energi kita
kerja keras adalah energi kita
Nikki,

Listen sister, I don't know why you're all up in my grill, but I'm gonna tell ya once, back off! Don't mess with me! You have no idea who I am. Do ya?

Nikki, in case you missed it. I am writing my very own series on brilliant writing advice from my highly evolved mind. I am way ahead of Bob. I just posted the 46th in the series the other night. You must read it.

YOU MUST ALL READ IT!

If ever there was a group that needs savin' it's this bunch. Right here. I haven't seen such a collection of lost souls since the last big sale at the village boutique.

I will make a promise here.

I WILL NEVER HIT THE BULLSEYE OF CONTEMPORARY ANGST.

AND I AM GRATEFUL THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY DARTS. AND THE BOARD IS HANGING ON THE WALL OF SOME OTHER TAVERN.

I wouldn't go near it with a hazard suit on.

I WILL CONVERT ALL OF YOU!

One by one. If that's what it takes, then I am happy to do it.

Stop sobbing over your keyboards. The sky is not falling. The book is not dying.

Wake up and smell the Via. Some of you are out there just waiting to be saved. I'm here to help. Come with me. It's alright now.

Come with me. It's better at my place. Don't pollute your minds further here.

Read my series. It will change your life!

Thank you for reading my combined blog with my brother Bob.

He only allows this because he's so gosh darn fond of his bratty little sister.

Thanks brother!

Much Love and Baci,

Hope
XOXOXO
P.S. Sis, stop calling me Starving. My name is Hope. And I'm not Starving right now. My ship has just come in.

GOD BLESS THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION!

Ed, you totally rock!

Hope