Nice try, Bob. I disagree about the gun part. Cyanide is so much cleaner. Keep in mind that Garp was published in 1976. It was so much easier to get a novel published in those days. If he were trying today, he might easily fail.
But I'll be nice and give you an R for being such an optimist.

I believe John Irving said, “Keep passing the open windows.” ~R~

Been there. Took his advice. Shot my agent instead, just to watch her die.

Empathy. Work in a field that will always pay, there will always be sick people. (but not as interesting I am sure) Good luck, Chuck's comment is great. r

Ha, your series continues to make me laugh. I needed a good chuckle. Thanks for that.

You know, I have been struggling and avoiding writing for so long, yet I am desperate to write a novel. I start and stall and move a little forward and stall again. What am I doing reading this?
Oh, yeah, because you're funny!

Dear Big Brother,

Your cartoon has alarmed me! I am dialing 911 and dispatching them to check on you immediately. Brother, why do you torture yourself so?

Haven't you learned anything yet from your incredibly talented and brilliant little sister? I know there is often much nonsense mixed in with my communication, but honestly you should do nothing but read my series THE MOST BRILLIANT WRITING ADVICE EVER first thing every morning as soon as you open your eyes.

My crush Johnny, you are too clever and so right. Please for the love of all that's holy stop filling Bob's head with ideas. I am already distraught. I really cannot take much more of this. I cannot check on my brother myself.

As always, I rely upon the kindness of strangers. Bob, I am running to church yet again with my blow torch and will light every candle in the sanctuary for you. There I will remain until I hear from you or the authorities.

With All My Heartfelt Good Wishes and Far Too Much Concern,

Hope
::makes the Sign of the Cross and bows her head::

John Grisham was on Morning Joe yesterday complaining that his new book that was supposed to be selling for $26 was being sold at Walmart, Amazon and Target for $9. He wasn't too happy about it. He said he gets paid and the publisher gets paid, but all the middle men (the book stores) get cut from the loop which will hurt authors, but especially new authors. He said it's a tough row to hoe. Of course it shouldn't effect my own Pulitzer worthy attempt. That is if I ever write another chapter.

Btw, I love your shameless flashy Snowman ad. Very cool!

Excellent advice and I'm glad I didn't have to wait for Saturday for it! It may have been too late.

You're gonna be responsible for somebody here getting published before it's all over, Bob.

I hope you're happy.

;^)

Lonnie, that was very good of you to mention me in your posted comment. We have not been formally introduced yet.

I am Bob's bratty little sister. It's a pleasure to meet you. Bob speaks so highly of you. Your reputation precedes you too. You're famous.

Bob, I just watched the video clip. I am at a loss now to decide which image I find more disturbing--Irving draped in black with his eyes trained on what I can only imagine to be the living hell that is the publishing industry (in his opinion) or your incredibly disturbing cartoon.

My young, impressionable mind should not be exposed to things like this. I would very much like you to add the links for my series here so that your readers may know that you have not brainwashed your little sister. That is the very least you can do after doing so much damage here.

Brother, Keep Holding On. Keep Holding On Bob. Keep Holding On.

Still Praying and Now Clutching the Beads,

Hope

It's probably better to just wing yourself.......

Great cartoon...but the timing of that headline, considering today's events....scary synchronicity.

Looking forward to your next post on this subject Bob: "Best Advice on Writing a First Novel: Rent a Dumpster."

John, you are always right there in Bob's moment of need.

I would like to add something. First, please hire a team of interns to run the shredder and then have at it with the dumpster. ;)

Hope

P.S. John, I'm happy to know I didn't frighten you to pieces last night.

Please send my best regards to your lovely wife. :)