When you got your period did your mother throw you a party?  

When your daughter got her period did you throw her a party?  

When I got my period, my mother took me to the gynecologist -- when I was not quite yet nine...

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 ***Originally Posted As To Be Licked Or Not To Be Licked -- This Is My SEO Experiment***

It happened to me, at a junior high school reunion.  Pauly mentioned “when pretty women meet me they always move away.”  I guess I, a divorced forty something woman forever lookin… Read full post »

I never understood why when I was growing up we didn’t hang Christmas lights outside our home.  It wasn’t like we were the only Jews not doing it.  There were plenty of us.  When I was six years old, my mother married a Lutheran man who was the superintendent of a… Read full post »

I was afraid of seeing him and looking into his blue eyes, not because of what he would do to me but because of what I would do to myself.  Six years after it started, four years after I left that Hudson Valley town, I admit I still have strong feelings/… Read full post »

The Vegetarian and the Deer Hunters, orginally, appeared on ModernLoveRejects.com.  Hunting season will be starting soon up in these areas.  I, a vegetarian, forgot "Trucks" had steak and ketchup breath when we kissed.  How could I answer to Bambi?  What would you have done?

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 Freaky Eaters found a woman who eats as many as 40 ice cream bars a day!  She says, "It's almost like having a lover!"  I completely understand her.  Here is a holiday essay concerning Chocolate, My Lover,  saying,  "I find it safer to go home with a Russell Stover… Read full post »

The swans, geese and ducks were squawking over by the pond.  As the hawks were yelling about how they wanted my 15 year old wheaten terrier, Milo, to come on over for breakfast, I walked outside with my three other dogs, the chihuahua, the beagle, the llasa cocker mix and a/… Read full post »

I drove 30 minutes to the county’s only social services office in my twenty year old Chevy that got seven miles per gallon.  I nicknamed the car my “Mercedes,” feeling so down on myself that that would be the closest I would ever come to having my Benz.  The Caprice was… Read full post »

Fiction 

Originally titled -- She Wanted A William And Kate Ever After 

Kara, the divorced Jewish city girl in her forties, with the flaming red, curly long hair and chocolate colored eyes, arrives at the Hudson Valley pub.  Johnny Cash croons over the jukebox.  T/… Read full post »

I retched over the toilet and heaved a whole bunch of nothing.  I slumped to the bathroom floor and watched a roach run by.  As I pulled myself up, the nausea returned.  I opened the window and looked out from my fourth floor tenement apartment onto Ludlow Street, heart/… Read full post »

People friend me on Facebook because they think I am the Bonnie Bernstein from ESPN. They see my name and immediately believe I am the one who announces football games, analyzes a play and interviews the quarterback. A fan recently fawned over me saying, “Nice job on WPIX this morning, great… Read full post »

Time Served At Walmart -- Paroled After An Injury And Enforced Malnutrition

Of Course I'll Go -- A Story Of Devastating Loss

Pauly mentioned “when pretty women meet me they always move away.”  I guess I, a divorced forty something woman forever looking down on myself, appeared awfully appealing to him in that dark restaurant.  And, coincidentally, I was moving the next day.  Pauly loved my boots.… Read full post »