Shouts And Mallomars

Bonnie Bernstein

bonnie bernstein

bonnie bernstein
Location
New York, New York,
Birthday
November 02
Title
Starving Writer
Bio
Quirky, Edgy Authoress, Phanatically Baseball Lite. Writing the great American smutty memoir. Bonnie's words can be found in places like TheFix, YourTango, Modern Love Rejects, Salon, Petside, Babble, Perils of Divorced Pauline, Newsday and NYResident. Lisa Belkin wrote about Bonnie in Motherlode and Anderson Cooper interviewed her. Follow Bonnie on Twitter: bonnieb_writer

MY RECENT POSTS

AUGUST 18, 2014 1:09PM

My Dog Almost Died Today

My dog, a chihuahua mix rescued from pre Hurricane Sandy Coney Island seven years ago, almost died this morning. Ferrell is his name, and, as a divorced mother in my early 50's living in a small upstate New York town, he is the love of my life next to my son… Read full post »

I just wrote a blog for the Times of Israel, and I would appreciate it if you could read, respond, share. Thanks.

 

 http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/i-was-fascinated-by-the-jdl-then-i-hated-jdl-now-i-support-the-jdl/

 

  Read full post »

 

Update: got my dog through Lyme disease. Now she has a hematoma on her left ear. She needs surgery this week. She needs your help. Please.  

http://www.gofundme.com/b2sn4s

My dog needs your help. Please. If you can contribute, please go to above mentioned site. Thank you. 

 My bRead full post »

JUNE 14, 2014 10:33PM

Happy Father's Day, Paul McCartney

When I saw Paul McCartney being driven into Citifield’s parking lot, it was a 45 year dream come true of seeing the Beatle who I didn’t want to marry, or have an affair with but who I came to see as the father I never had who I so wanted. ThatRead full post »

APRIL 11, 2014 10:16PM

Obamacare -- Having My Say

After being without medical insurance for six years, three of those years fighting an unsuccessful battle for Medicaid (but always being offered birth control), with much pessimism I applied for Obamacare (aka the Affordable Care Act). I, a divorced baby boomer mother, was so beaten down by emergencyRead full post »

A Facebook friend accused me of panhandling because I kept reposting my GoFundMe.com plea seeking financial help for my sick dog. Upset at the accusation from a man I had an interest in, I couldn’t stop staring at his words. The paragraph became a humiliating mess in front of me forRead full post »

DECEMBER 1, 2013 11:06PM

The Life Of My Love, My Dog/Update

 

photo-1.JPG Update…


Ferrell still needs medical care, and here is another plea for the life of my love, my dog.


My dog had a seizure, and his heart stopped for a couple of seconds. It happened, tonight, as we were preparing to leave the Kingston Emergency AnimalRead full post »

NOVEMBER 20, 2013 9:33PM

A Plea For The Love Of My Life, My Dog

 

 December 25 update. Ferrell at doggie Er for the night. His calcium levels are dangerously low. He needs a miracle. And I need a miracle. My boy. And gofundme.com thank you everyone. 

 

 

 

A plea for your help...


I never write dog stories. I’m busy penning bitRead full post »

DECEMBER 22, 2012 7:01PM

I Sold Bullets For Walmart

 

I sold ammo for Walmart, all along thinking “Bonnie, it’s just a paycheck.”   I’m such a pathetic liar.  But I needed that piece of paper to survive past due to paster due.  As a forty something divorced mother with a college education and a thin res… Read full post »

I am a liberal Democrat.  ProChoice.  ProMarriageEquality.  Against the death penalty, nuclear power plants and fracking.  I am voting for Mitt Romney.  There.  I just admitted what I’ve been grappling with for over four years.  How a New York City Jewish moth… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 10, 2012 10:23PM

Eating Ice Cream On 9/11

The World Trade Center was burning and I was eating ice cream, the chocolate kind with a cherry on top.  I couldn’t watch CNN report an airplane splitting a building in half and people jumping out windows from towering infernos to their deaths, so I took the dog out for aRead full post »

http://www.yourtango.com/2012157925/president-obama-and-my-fantasy-sex-life

 Which man, with salt and pepper hair, is the one for this writer?

Whenever President Obama comes to New York City, mylove life becomes more of what it usually is, a fantasy. I guess it's really not a part of his ag… Read full post »

JULY 27, 2012 11:27AM

Remembering The 1972 Olympics

The 2012 Summer Olympics are beginning in London, England.  The Olympic Committee won’t remember the 11 Israeli athletes who were murdered in Munich forty years ago.  But I will, and I hope you will, too.  
 
 


As a quiet, little New York City Jewish girl visi… Read full post »
 
 http://divorcedmoms.com/blogs/the-perils-of-divorced-pauline/bonnie-bernsteins-blogger-space
 
This Bonnie Bernstein (the one who pens confessional essays -- not the one from ESPN) is featured on Pauline Gaines http://perilsofdivorcedpauline.com/ blog.  It was great/
Read full post »

When you got your period did your mother throw you a party?  

When your daughter got her period did you throw her a party?  

When I got my period, my mother took me to the gynecologist -- when I was not quite yet nine...

 

 Read full post »

 ***Originally Posted As To Be Licked Or Not To Be Licked -- This Is My SEO Experiment***

It happened to me, at a junior high school reunion.  Pauly mentioned “when pretty women meet me they always move away.”  I guess I, a divorced forty something woman forever lookinRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 20, 2011 1:38PM

Little Drummer Girl In The Cemetery

I never understood why when I was growing up we didn’t hang Christmas lights outside our home.  It wasn’t like we were the only Jews not doing it.  There were plenty of us.  When I was six years old, my mother married a Lutheran man who was the superintendent of aRead full post »

Hurricane Irene, August 28, 2011, South Salem, NY
Editor’s Pick
AUGUST 16, 2011 9:36PM

Modern Love - The Vegetarian and the Deer Hunters


The Vegetarian and the Deer Hunters, orginally, appeared on ModernLoveRejects.com.  Hunting season will be starting soon up in these areas.  I, a vegetarian, forgot "Trucks" had steak and ketchup breath when we kissed.  How could I answer to Bambi?  What would you have done?

 Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JUNE 28, 2011 9:57AM

I'm A Freaky Chocolate Eater

Chocoholic update:  This writer wins the stupid award for driving through downed trees she never saw during nature's horror show to get some chocolate.  

 

 

The Washington Post recently proclaimed, “Chocolate protects the heart.” It read, as I always hoped it would, tRead full post »

The swans, geese and ducks were squawking over by the pond.  As the hawks were yelling about how they wanted my 15 year old wheaten terrier, Milo, to come on over for breakfast, I walked outside with my three other dogs, the chihuahua, the beagle, the llasa cocker mix and a/Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MAY 25, 2011 3:13AM

I Snuck Someone Into West Point

I advertently snuck someone onto the grounds of West Point past security.  I didn’t mean it.   As a tour guide at the United States Military Academy, after 911, I should’ve known better.  The woman could’ve been a terrorist.  Unless there was a specific reason to… Read full post »
Editor’s Pick
MAY 18, 2011 12:00AM

I Was Turned Down For Food Stamps

I drove 30 minutes to the county’s only social services office in my twenty year old Chevy that got seven miles per gallon.  I nicknamed the car my “Mercedes,” feeling so down on myself that that would be the closest I would ever come to having my Benz.  The Caprice wasRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
MAY 11, 2011 12:02AM

I Sleep On The Floor

Now that the Arnold Schwarzenegger’s wedded union will unfortunately possibly be terminated soon, I bet the Mrs. won’t have to worry about where she’ll be sleeping.  One thing is for sure, Maria Shriver will not be bedding down on the floor like I have been for the past year. &… Read full post »
Editor’s Pick
MAY 4, 2011 12:13AM

My Mother Who Loved Lee Mazzilli

My mother was in Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, dying of breast cancer in 1989.  She, like her mother, was suffering.  The disease had metastasized to the bones and the brain.  I brought her favorite food.  The Lobster Cantonese embraced memories of her Boston childhood.… Read full post »