December, 2008

Dear Friends and Family,

What an eventful year it has been! Here are some of the lowlights for the Moore family.

• Another year, and a new set of ailments to add to our list of "things that go downhill after you turn forty". It’s downright depressing. This year: heartburn after every meal. I mean, I can’t even eat a friggin’ pancake without my esophagus erupting with these nasty acid outbursts.
• OMG, Rachel had her first boyfriend. They broke up after three weeks, but she got her first kiss. I caught them making out while quote unquote watching (yeah, right. Stupid me) Taladega Nights. I am hopeful that she got that boyfriend thing out of her system (yeah right. Stupid me).
• I should just say that Rachel turned 15 and leave it at that. Use your imagination.
• My precious, darling, cuddly Sophie turned 12 this year, and she doesn’t want to talk to me any more. What’s wrong? What did I do? Please honey! Daddy wants you back!
• This year we totally gave up on the girls keeping their rooms clean. We’ve been after them for how many years?? Does it work? I’ll tell you what works, is shutting the bedroom door so I don’t see the mess and never really know how bad it is. Until I smell something when walking past, then I am not going to think about it anymore.
• Like many of our friends, we have discovered the benefits of Lunesta and Xanax. Thank God for the pharmaceutical industry!
• We took the girls skiing, but Beth and I didn’t ski. We were too tired so we stayed in the lodge and "watched". They had a Starbucks there. And a fireplace. We brought a couple books. Why bother skiing?
• Beth has made a new friend: peri-menopause. Peri-menopause Mom plus two teenage daughters. Yay!
• Beth and I have finally resolved the fact that, after 23 years of marriage, it would take more work for us to find a new person that would actually put up with us than it is to stay together. We are going to renew vows on our 25^th.
• We have totally neglected our outdoor landscaping this year. I don’t have time, and I’m too lazy anyways. The trees and shrubs in the front are out of control. It’s December, and there are still weeds growing in the mulch. I promise to hire someone this Spring to fix it.
• Our cockatiel bird was so annoying the we moved his cage from the center of life, the kitchen, to the dark, lonely downstairs basement so that we don’t have to hear his obnoxious squacking all day and continuously clean up after his mess of bird seed shells all over the kitchen floor. It worked. Now we never hear him, and wonder if he’s still alive. Maybe you can check in on him if you happen to visit us.
• I probably spent about $700 this year at Starbucks. Yes, the money could have gone to many other worthy causes other than my selfish coffee habit. But when it comes to coffee, I am selfish. That’s all I have to say.
• I put over 30,000 miles on my car this past year. I have no idea what I would have been doing that would require me to travel so far, or who I was with. My daily commute is only 25 miles. I think the girls have something to do with this. At an average of 50 mph that translates to 600 hours this year in my car. Seriously, that equals 25 full days – almost a month of straight driving! My life is obviously slipping away before my very eyes…
• I am writing this letter at work, instead of doing actual real work right now. I’ve been at this for… oh, about an hour and one half. But who cares!

Seriously, we have been truly blessed in so many ways with a wonderful family, two beautiful girls, (relatively) good health, and a life that we thank God for every day. Hope this letter brightens your day and lightens your load a little bit!

Brad