Brianna Popsickle’s Blog

Letters from a Suburban Prison

Brianna Popsickle

Brianna Popsickle
Location
Ontario, Canada
Birthday
March 03
Bio
Hi. I’m Brianna. I write because I don’t sleep. What else am I going to do at two in the morning while everyone else is snoozing? I feel like one of those people who’ve fallen and can’t get up. I’ve started to write and can’t stop. I write about my life and the lives of those around me: friends, relatives, co-workers, neighbours. Sometimes I change names and places to protect the innocent. Sometimes I don’t. I haven’t lost any friends as a result of my writing (yet), and have actually made a few because of it. I don’t write about politics or the economy, and nothing I say will change the world. But it may change how you look at your own life and the people around you. One thing I’ve learned, through the response of my readers, is as different as we all appear to be we’re all pretty much the same. We cry over the same heartaches and disappointments. We laugh about (and try to hide from) life’s embarrassments. We feel guilty for our fantasies (but no one knows because we never talk about them). Until now . . . Brianna Popsickle – Mother, wife, daughter, friend - finding my voice after years of confinement in a suburban prison.

Brianna Popsickle's Links

Salon.com
Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 23, 2012 9:19AM

Don't Tell Anyone

Rate: 30 Flag

It happened when I was 8; I was in third grade. I had my friend Rachel over for the weekend. We bundled up in layers of clothes and dragged our toboggans to the hill, a few blocks from my home. It was a favorite spot for neighborhood kids to toboggan. 

Surprisingly, we had the hill to ourselves that sunny Saturday morning. We took turns speeding down the hill and making our way back up again, dragging our toboggans behind us, a little slower each time. 

Once, as I was nearing the top, I turned to speak to Rachel, but she wasn’t behind me. I looked to the bottom of the hill and saw her talking to a man. In the next instant I saw him take her hand and they walked towards a garage. I called her name but she kept walking. I called again but they disappeared into the garage.  

I’d been taught not to speak to strangers let alone go anywhere with them. I felt a wave of panic. My first instinct was to look for help but there was no one around and she was already in the garage. I ran, stumbling and rolling half way down the hill, wondering later why it never occurred to me to toboggan down. I pounded on the garage door yelling her name.  

The door opened and I saw her standing calmly, eating a chocolate bar. I told her she shouldn’t be in there. She said it was okay, he knew her dad. As I reached to grab her hand I heard the garage door shut behind me. I turned to see his face smiling down at me. I swallowed hard and wanted to scream, but was unable to make a sound.  

He offered me the other half of the Oh Henry, to this day a chocolate bar I can’t eat. He said he closed the door because if other kids came they would want a chocolate bar and he only had one. He told me how he knew Rachel’s dad. I looked at her as she happily ate the chocolate bar, and wondered if maybe he was telling the truth, hoping he was telling the truth.  Foolishly I began to eat the chocolate.  

He said he probably knew my dad too. He asked what his name was and where he worked. Yes, he was sure he knew him, and wondered where we lived. I told him. He started to tell us what pretty girls we were and asked us our ages. He said he bet he could lift Rachel up, and in one quick swoop he did, lifting her high above his head. I wanted to cry but held back the tears as he set her down and reached for me.   

 The next thing I remember is the door opening and walking outside. He said not to tell anyone because other kids would expect him to give them candy too. We said we wouldn’t tell. Rachel seemed unaffected. I was angry with her and felt sick. I told her she shouldn’t have gone in there. We walked home in silence and never talked about it with each other again. 

When we got home, we took off our wet clothes and laid them over the furnace vents to dry. We got into dry clothes and my mother asked if we would like a snack. I quickly blurted out that we’d had a chocolate bar, wanting her to know, needing her to know.  

She sensed the panic in my voice and asked me what happened. I saw the fear in her eyes as she hollered for my father. I kept saying it was okay, he knew Rachel’s dad, he knew mine, but deep down I knew it wasn’t okay. They asked us again about the details of what had happened then never mentioned it again, until the following week. 

I lived only a few blocks from school, so I walked home for lunch. One day as I turned the corner, I was shocked to see a police car in our driveway. When I got inside, my mom and dad said the officers wanted to ask me some questions about the man who’d given us the candy. I felt the same wave of panic come over me, that I’d felt that day in the garage. 

I recalled what happened just as I’d told my mother and father that Saturday. It turned out the man didn’t know Rachel’s dad or mine. It turned out he’d hurt some other children.  The police officer said Rachel and I were lucky only I didn’t feel lucky at the time. My parents kept telling me that I did nothing wrong. They knew the only reason I went into the garage was to protect my friend. They said everything was okay.

 I walked back to school and when the bell rang I went and got in line. I remember feeling sick like something bad had happened but I wasn’t sure what. I remember looking at the faces of the other kids laughing and having fun and thinking that I’d never feel like that again.

 

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children, stranger, danger

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Comments

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Wow. It's not often I find myself holding my breath while reading a post. Great writing - awful story. I felt a shadow of your fear.
Very well told, the childlike narrator's voice creating a harrowing effect. Well deserved EP and cover, Congrats.
When is insomnia a good thing? When it produces writing like this. Like Natalie, I was holding my breath as I read. I'm glad the man was caught. I just hope he's still in jail.
What a well told story of a much too common occurrence.
I'm glad you showed up for Rachel, even if you were traumatized by this creep. She might have had a much worse lingering nightmare...
Riveting! I'm glad there was a happy "ish" ending.
Wow. Powerful story, powerfully told.
So well told. I hope the writing of it is cathartic for you. I'm so sorry this happened and glad it wasn't worse. R
In all probability, you saved Rachel. The sicko probably figured out he couldn't control two girls, especially one as ready to run and scream as you undoubtedly looked. You might not have felt like a hero, because bravery and doing the right thing can be scary, but you were.
Ive heard so many crazy stories on here & its so cool to read one now & again that has a happy ending after a really chilling setup that makes you think its gonna go down the rabbit hole.
I'm glad they caught him! But yes, an experience like that ereally stays with a kid. I was hooked all through reading this.

rated
I'm glad your mom caught the panic in your voice so it was never a secret...
First of all, you are a gifted writer. Secondly, you were a very brave little girl. You told this in a voice that felt very in the moment of this experience. I'm so glad it ended well. R
Wow, crazy the things that stay with us. Having been in a one time molestation situation as a very young child I feel your discomfort at the memory. I am 63 and it never goes away.I have a wonderful husband, sons and 7 grands, so time and healing happen, but that hurt, stays hidden, but there.This was scary, but needed to be written and you did it well. Congrads on EP.
you say,
"I remember feeling sick like something bad had happened but I wasn’t sure what. I remember looking at the faces of the other kids laughing and having fun and thinking that I’d never feel like that again."

...and from just a brush with Evil. ..

heroically done. hope you can laugh again ...............
Gosh you seemed to be unbelievably insightful and mature for an 8 yr old!! Its amazing how at 8 yrs old you were responsible enough to come home and let a parent know (directly or indirectly either way that generally doesn't happen) and yet your were also insightful enough to recognize right away your feelings towards the other children in line at school as a partial loss of innocence (something it can take years of therapy for even the most severe molestation victims to be able to look back and recognize why they felt the way they felt growing up) once you recognize theses feelings you can start a process of healing! Since these realizations came for you in just weeks following your incident once again I will reiterate what that policeman told you so many years ago "You Were Lucky"!!! Thanks for sharing!!!!
Very chilling. You were very brave to go after Rachel, and I think she is probably a very lucky girl....
You were a pretty brave little kid, and had some great parents.
not all kids are as brave as you were, think of all the other kids you might have helped by being so brave.

congrats for the EP - your story is worthy.
Wow! I cannot imagine the panic you must have felt. Adults that take advantage of trusting children should be punished. It was brave of you to write about this.
I'm with Kim, uzn, and Brown Eyed Girl: chilling.
I felt panicked reading this piece party because I didn't want to know what happened, but then again I did. I know how you felt because my father once dropped me off down the street from my friend's house on his way to work. We walked to school together. A man in a car followed me and I remember that feeling of panic. He was asking a 13 year old girl where the nearest cat house was (whore house). Innocently I said my cat just had kittens we have cats at my house he motioned for me to come closer to the car. I broke and ran to my friend's house. Great piece like Natalie Not Pedantic I too was holding my breath. rated
a taunt and bravely expressed piece of writing.