Advertising for Love

Funny, strange, and poignant personal ads from the 19th century.

Pam Epstein

Pam Epstein
Birthday
June 14
Bio
I'm a PhD graduate from Rutgers University, where I wrote my dissertation on the transformation of love and marriage in 19th-century America. I started this blog to share the funny, poignant, interesting, and just plain bizarre personal ads I've been researching for my work.

MY RECENT POSTS

Pam Epstein's Links

Salon.com
Editor’s Pick
MARCH 18, 2011 1:20PM

In the Navy

Rate: 8 Flag
Did you know that this it is the sesquicentennial anniversary of the beginning of the Civil War?  And can you pronounce "sesquicentennial"?  Say that ten times fast.  Yes, folks, it's been 150 years since the war began and it's just as fascinating a topic as ever, and it gives me an excuse to write more about some of my favorite advertisers ever: Civil War soldiers.  Or anyway, one of them.


A young man, a gentleman, thoroughly educated, and holding the rank of [?] in the United States Navy, and who during this war has had but little opportunity to form the acquaintance of ladies, desires to open a correspondence with one who is well educated, refined and of good birth, with a view to matrimony.  None need apply unless they are such, and perfectly sincere.  If agreeable would prefer carte de visite of the lady who might feel disposed to answer this.  Furthermore all communications will be treated with honorable [?].  Address Blake Thurston, U.S.N., Beaufort, N.C.

I hate it when I can't make out words.  Anyone able to read those?  The first one looks like "superior" but that doesn't make sense as an actual rank, so I don't think that's right.  I find neverending fascination with these ads because I can only imagine what it must have been like for these lonely soldiers - or at least lonely for female companionship (well, respectable female companionship).  All they want to do is go home and forget this horrible war and settle down with some nice little woman who'll drive all the images of death and destruction from their memories and...yeah.  It makes me sad when I think about it.  Blake sounds a little stiff but I always feel so much sympathy for these men who have no chance to cultivate acquaintances with women. 

Of course, the lingering question I always have is, why didn't he meet any women in his hometown before he left?  Obviously all my advertisers are people who haven't met anyone elsewhere, so it's not like this is unique.  But the way it's written is like he never even tried to meet someone until he was in the navy.  You know?  Like he came out of nowhere.  Or maybe...perhaps he was just out of college (highly educated), and of course there were no women in college at that time, except, I think, Oberlin (don't quote me on that).  And then out of patriotic fervor enlisted, and then, as I said, got lonely.

Interesting though...I guess I never thought of this before but...if he's in North Carolina, how is he going to meet these women?  He's advertising in a New York paper, but it had a national audience so that doesn't signify, but when I say "national" in 1862 I don't mean it was going down South (much).  And he wouldn't want to meet women from North Carolina anyway because they're part of the rebellion.  So, yeah, he doesn't say when he's mustering out - what if his term of service is another two years?  Is he just going to correspond with women for that length of time?  I think he would love that, but the women might get a little tired of waiting.  Or not.  Because a good patriotic Northerner would probably be willing to wait for a soldier fighting for the Union.  I don't know.  I'm totally rambling, probably due to lack of sleep.  You wouldn't think it, but it is, in fact, possible to stay out late at academic conferences.  Historians party too.  (I wasn't partying.  But I did have a later night than planned.  I'm going to stop writing now.)

ETA: a friend pointed out that they're probably "supplier" and "usage."

©2011 Pam Epstein

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:

Comments

Type your comment below:
Interesting research - Social rules were very different before the Bell phone. Most meetings were "arranged", even for men.
Maybe it's an abbreviation for "superior officer"? I dunno. You see a lot more of these things than I do!

"With a view to matrimony." This fellow wasn't kidding around!
He was probably stationed in Beaufort - even though it was in NC, it was under Union control for much of the war. It's doubtful many confederate ladies would have been kind to a Union officer. As far as when he would be free to marry - most of the soldiers in the war didn't have a specific term of service - they were in until the war was over. (That's for the enlisted men - there may have been terms of service for officers but officers weren't going to leave the military until the war was over or until they were wounded or dead.) We know now that it didn't end until 1865, but of course they didn't know that then.
Wear red on Fridays to honor the soldiers today, who are currently in the longest war in the US military history, they too are lonely and want to forget the terrors they have experienced. Purple hearts can now be issued to those who suffered concussions not just wounds that you can 'see' are to be honored. Thanks for this reminder of love in the time of the civil war, and remember those who serve today.
Very interesting, and so, rated
I'm not sure what the missing word is with respect to rank, but"rank" has a very specific meaning in the naval services. Gentlemen did not usually serve as common sailors and wouldn't be said to hold a rank if they were "enlisted."

If I had to guess, he was a warrant officer. These folks generally had completed an apprenticeship in their trade before joining the Navy and receiving a warrant. Even then, they had very specific titles like "surgeon," "sailmaker," "carpenter," "gunner," "paymaster," "engineer," or "chaplain."

Please note that except for officiers who were midshipmen at Annapolis, officers and warrant officers were unlikely to have attended college. Most went to sea as "boys" or "midshipmen" and moved up from there.

Why advertise in New York? Two reasons. First is that he may have been from that area, but was stationed on a ship out of NC. Second is that during the Civil War, no respectable Southern lady would socialize with a damned Yankee.

Hope that helps, even if only a tiny amount.
Why do people use match.com? same reasons I suppose. Everybody needs love.
Thanks all!

Karen - yes, he would have been part of a naval blockade that the Union army had along the Southern coast for most of the war. I definitely do NOT think he was reaching out to Southern women! It's actually not true, however, that soldiers didn't have terms of service. Originally enlistees had a 90-day term, then there were 2-year and 3-year terms. Draftees, I believe, had slightly different terms. But a surprisingly large number of men re-enlisted.

BizDoc - thanks for the clarification! The fact that he describes himself as "highly educated" implies that he went to college though, don't you think? Someone suggested to me that he was a "supplier" which I think makes the most sense. As for advertising in New York - this particular paper had a national audience (somewhat like the Times today). He may have been a New Yorker, but it's just as possible he was trying to reach as large a number of women (outside the South!) as possible.
You really bring me back--I did CW Diary Research in the '70s at university, too. Loved it, and this post. r.
I think the word after honorable is usage.
This was great fun to read and think about. Please indulge the ruminations that follow.

Karen W is right about Beaufort being occupied by the North, Burnside took it in mid-1862. So your navy man was likely serving on shore, in an unfriendly town. He was probably from New York, hence the ad being placed there. BizDoc is also correct regarding rank and "gentleman". I think some deductions can be made, but without absolute certainty of course. First, as to rank, as BizDoc said, the enlisted ranks had "ratings"--stoker, steward, gunner, signalman, etc.--but these were more job descriptions than "ranks". There was no rank called "supplier". A "commissioned" officer would have included his rank in his salutation: Blake Thurston, Lt., USN. That's important. As a "young man", were he an officer he'd likely be either an ensign or lieutenant, either of which he'd be sure to let the ladies know. Were he a "warrant" officer he might have revealed his rank, yet I don't think he was a surgeon or chaplain (just a feeling). "Sailmaker" was another "warrant" rank, but here the term "gentleman" comes into play. By the Civil War the meaning of "gentleman" had expanded from its roots of landed gentry who took up arms and raised troops for king (England) or country (USA). George Washington was a gentleman, John Hancock, not. By 1860, in America, "gentleman" was appropriated by the professional classes--doctors, lawyers, bankers. No matter how polite and refined a laborer or farmer might be they were not "gentleman". The blacksmith's wife might call her husband a gentleman, but that was just her way of saying he was as good as the swells. Young Thurston did not refer to himself as "an officer and a gentleman", which he surely would have had he been "commissioned" by the president. That expression--"officer and gentleman"--carried real meaning then, and still does today. My father went to the Naval Academy and drove that point home. So, I don't think Thurston was an officer. I think his use of "gentleman" was "code" for "decent, clean, literate, educated" in the new sense of that word by 1860. He wasn't so much saying what he was, but was tipping off the ladies as to what he was NOT: a base laborer, servant, illiterate dirt farmer.

His "thoroughly educated" is also a tip off. Had he done his Grand Tour abroad (as "real" gentleman did) he would have said so. Likewise, had he gone to Bowdin or Harvard, any college, he would have made hay of that. Yet, had he been from one of America's First Families he wouldn't have taken out that ad, and had he done so his parents would have had apoplexy. I think he was self-educated, no harm in that, so was Abe Lincoln. I think he was trying to tell his audience that he was an up-and-coming young man, literate and refined. His audience was likely not servant girls (the Irish girls couldn't read), nor mill workers, but probably young women who might have taught school, or nurses, or daughters of "gentlemen" such as lawyers or pastors. For me, the powerful and poignant beauty of Thurston's appeal is the changes in America it captured. He was, in essence, saying, I have improved myself, I have fought in this War, and I would like to be rewarded with the company of a like-minded woman who will not hold my (possibly) low birth against me. He had EARNED the right to run that ad, and let no "gentleman" try to take it from him.
Jonathan, thanks!!

Laura, yes someone else suggested that too - I think you're right.

TheBadScot, wow, you gave this a lot of thought. I spent plenty of time in the dissertation talking about these issues, but I'm glad the ad intrigued you!
Just fascinating! xox