On children and “spirits”…
Ever since my 3-year-old son, Patrick, learned to talk, he has been telling us odd things. It started with his insistence that he saw a man “in the wall… go through the wall,” pointing to the wall over his diaper changing table. He told us many, many times about this man and once said he was named Joseph and talked to him at night. During dinner one evening, he suddenly asked, “Who’s that man?” while pointing over to the fireplace in the parlor of our old house. Pulling into the driveway one afternoon, Patrick asked me who was standing on the patio waving at us. I couldn’t see a thing in any instance.
We moved into a new (but very old) house this spring. He doesn’t report seeing people here, but he says there are flashing lights in his room at night.
Patrick is now verbal beyond what is typical for his age, and he especially likes to talk to me before bed. This summer, he began to insist he had a past life. He told me he had “another mommy before I was in your tummy.” He says his other mommy “got old and had something wrong here” (pointing to the side of his head). Then, “she went to the hospital and the doctors tried to help her, but she decided to just give up and be nothing for a while.” He said he was still able to see his old mommy and “his grandpa” and to play games with them in a place “that wasn’t creepy but had [pause] something [pause] standing there.” He said he saw me living in my own parents’ house before he went into my tummy and was born.
He also said that animals are “dying, dying, dying all the time and going to Heaven.”
I don’t know what to make of what he says. I don’t want to worry him, as he is an incredibly sensitive child in many ways. Who knows? He might be onto something. I also don’t want to fawn all over him to encourage him to start making things up. When he talks like this, I go with a “mildly interested” demeanor.
Lately, his baby brother (age 1) has been pointing into nothingness and asking, “Dat?” Here we go again…
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Comments
It's important to keep asking him these questions. You're doing a great job, in my book. There's a fine line you have to walk with children. You want them to retain their sensitivity and "memories" but you want them to be able to deal with "polite" society, too.
Once, when the 11 year old GirlChild was not yet two, she stood up in my grandmother's kitchen chair, pointed into the living room and said "Hello, Mildred!" My grandparents got *really* quiet.
I asked who Mildred was.
They said it was the name of the woman who had lived in the house before them. (An old friend of the family and the mother of one of my mom's high school friends.)
Smiling and nodding is a really good course of action.
You might want to write things down, too. I have a hard time remembering which kid said what these days.
(thumbified for ghostilarity)
It isn't seemly to wake the baby, even if you're not alive. Maybe especially if you're not alive.
Being open to your child's experiences, whatever they may be is always an excellent idea. I fail on that level quite often because feelings of protectiveness and concern can be overwhelming. I'm working on it.
Odette- Ghosts waking up babies? How rude, even if they are friendly ghosts! I find myself a little creeped out at times going in to check on the kids at night. I remember seeing an episode of Montel Williams when I was on maternity leave, and a guest was showing a camcorder video she made of her baby monitor's video screen (one of those night vision deals). The screen showed the sleeping baby and a bunch of bright lights swirling all around and through the baby. It is forever in the back of my mind when I look at the baby monitor screen at my house.
I have a camera monitor and keep expecting to see something creepy in it. That or the mouse in the Kid's closet crawls across the frame, which would be really bad.
That night, when I was brushing my teeth to get ready for bed, I was chanting, "Idon'twannaseeanything, Idon'twannaseeanything!" It's all about the context!
As for the ghostie stuff, I'm way too easily spooked to want to comment on that side of things! :D
I feel brave about possibly seeing something when I'm with a group or during the daytime, but I have also made the "I don't want to see anything" statement to myself. It seems like I'm always seeing a flash of something out of the corner of my eye in my current house, especially on the second floor. It could be my imagination, but it has freaked me out when alone. I really don't want to see anything at night!
Yes, you don't want any unwanted visitors following you home. I remember hearing an EVP from this ghost hunting group where they were at a cemetery. As they were leaving, a disembodied voice said, "Let's go with them."
Hmm. Maybe I should break out the tape recorder and set a few ground rules about night time visits and see if I get a response.
Or, you know, not.
When my daughter was born, I took her and my son to see my elderly (and favorite) uncle, who was living in a nursing facility. He was always sweet to my son, but when he saw my baby girl, he was delighted. He'd always had a soft spot for the girls -- and correspondingly, all the girl cousins thought the world of him.
A few months after he died, I was trying to rock my screaming infant to sleep or at least to quiet, when I looked up and saw my uncle's face reflected back at me in the glass over a picture on the wall. The picture wasn't of him, or of any person, so I knew what I was seeing wasn't some aspect of the picture.
Exasperated with the fussy baby, all I could say was, "You know Uncle Frank, if you're here to lend a hand, now would be the time."
Seriously, she fell asleep right after that. And I like to think that Uncle Frank is looking in on her every now and then.
My son said he saw a hand (just a hand) outside our window during dinner last night. Don't know what that was all about.
There's no way at this age they know to lie and make these sorts of things up in my opinion.
Also, we moved into the house were my Grandparents and aunt had passed away. We took care of my aunt in her final days. My son said he had seen a woman with her before she passed. I pointed to a row of pictures on a shelf and asked if any of them were the woman he saw. He pointed to my grandmom.
I asked where he saw her and he said by the kitchen window. This particular kitchen window was the one she used to watch us leave from, she'd wave good-bye out of it until our car was out of the drive way.
He could never have known that, he'd never met her. She died in 84 and he as born in 93.
Great post!