Since I am on the topic of dancing, I was encouraged  to tell you about the last dance I ever had with Lance.  Yesterday happened to have been the two month anniversary since my love died, so it isn’t surprising between my dance post and the memories I would have… Read full post »

It was 2004, aboard the Crystal Harmony, cruising on the way to  Acapulco.

 “OK, I’ll meet you for lunch at noon.” With that, Phyllis took off in a dead run, she was off to her next dance lesson.  That woman has more energy than I can muster up, playing… Read full post »

Sunday I went to the Farmer's Market.   I did this little drawing commemorating it.  I wanted to share it with you on this Foody Tuesday.    

The longing for sex

means I am still very much here

even though you aren't.

****

Do you get enough?  Sex I mean... I know I don’t.  Of course there might be a good reason I don’t.  I’m just having trouble thinking what it is.  Hah-hah...… Read full post »

Yesterday I had an “astrologer” give me a reading.  Why?  I happen to have a spare $25 I wanted to donate to a worthy cause; the 75 year old, who should spend it on a hair dye (or to get a haircut at the absolute minimum) lady from Europe, just trying… Read full post »

Like a blessing from the heavens above...

I just knew there had to be something good happening, for me, and I’m pleased to report that something good found it’s way to me via my Open Salon mailbox this very morning.  

My lucky charm’s name is… Read full post »

I know, what the heck is she talking about now?  It seems as though several times in the past few weeks I wake up in the morning only to find my night table covered with empty food wrappers. I find bits of chocolate melted on my duvet cover, Tootsie Roll Pops… Read full post »

“So, you knew my husband....” but you don't know me.

Hardly a day goes by without some meeting about the businesses I’ve been suddenly thrust into.  They are usually meetings with men.  I don’t mean with my brother-in-law.  I mean with other… Read full post »

To ignore things you have to be heavy into denial.  If you are spending that much time and effort to deny something, then you are going to miss the point.  There is no time for denial, only acceptance.  For when we accept that the choice is ours,… Read full post »

Since my husband died TV and I have had an uneasy relationship.  I have been trying to think why, and believe I may have the answers.

Okay, I’ll admit with the recent events in my life my concentration is less than in the past, but come on,… Read full post »

What is absent now

cannot be found in my sleep

or I would dream it.

Is there much more of a frustrating time in life than when you have to stand by and watch a child or spouse going through a horrible illness?   I can’t think of one.

The sick person is sick.  The person(s) watching over you, taking care of… Read full post »

I have only three men in my life, and one died nearly a month ago.  The other two are a tale of things opposite, yet ending up the same, if only for a few days.

Back near the end of April my son confessed to us he was… Read full post »

Like a tuning fork

in another place of heart

your touch resonates within.

 ****

Your memory within

makes me feel your presence still

filling me with love.

 ****

How long has it been

since I heard your laughing voice?

In my dream… Read full post »

Wednesday, August 26, 2009. 

What a day.  You couldn’t make this shit up.  I went to the hospital again this morning  Now my love has blue feet and hands.  I walked into the room and was immediately cold to the bone.  For the first time in weeks I was feelin… Read full post »

After attempting to clean out their closet Saturday night, Sheila found herself in her robe standing over the EMPTY bed asking:

--------------------------------

SIGH. 

 :

Yesterday I scattered my husband’s ashes.  I had them over a week and only managed to lose them for a few hours. (Remember, you heard it here first.)  They were on my mantle, just awaiting “the feeling”...when I would know, in my gut, it w… Read full post »

When people say “truth is stranger than fiction”...well, they know it to be true.  I now add my voice to the mix.

I realize I haven’t written in a week or so, at least for public consumption.  Sometimes it takes a few days to be able to fil… Read full post »

My heart is full, even overflowing with the memories of love my husband lavished on me in creative ways.

I share myself, my experiences, because I am a writer, observer, but what is even more important is the realization I am a participator in this thing we call… Read full post »

I can’t begin to tell about the past few days, it will have to wait awhile.  But I can tell you all it is an amazing journey I am on.

The color blue has been a recurring element in the past eleven days.  This is the story of the first… Read full post »

Because I Love You.

Because I love you I let you go.  To have done anything else would be unbearably selfish.  You taught me the true meaning of selflessness. 

Because I love you I’ll be crying off and on, seemingly out of the blue, but I know the tears… Read full post »

I know I have been somewhat optimistic here, and metaphorical...but dying is difficult enough without sharing every detail.  I shared what I could at the time.

I have so many things I want to say now and share with you, but I need time.  I don't think it is quite real for… Read full post »

Every day I get to come home after spending the day with Lance.  It feels strange,  the house is really quiet, there is no background of Vinny announcing the Dodger game, or channels changing so quickly, rolling by frozen like single frames of a disjointed movie.… Read full post »