At what point in a relationship do we find ourselves relying on a secret code language? You know, a word or short sentence needing no further explanation to the other, once you have uttered it aloud. Of course it helps if you both have a sense of humor too.
You can be in a crowded room or simply sitting next to each other, alone yet needing to make the particular point the word or a combination of them can express. Shorthand for couples. There are certain looks, which convey messages, but today I want to point out some of our personal words or phrases.
With us it began soon after we started living together. For many people it begins, almost innocuously, with a cute little name you call each other. They can be as simple and universally understood as “honey” or “dear”. For us it began as “Wooge”. Actually, just seeing it written out here I realize it needs to have a certain intonation when said, to be fully understood. It was more like, “Woo-oo-ge”, and was frequently said when we were out in public or sometimes while lying together spooning in bed. The private joke was the meaning...”I’m horny, let’s do it NOW.”
Time marches on; we no longer utter it with the same frequency nor urgency. We reduced it further to a mere look or touch. We can even mouth the word and we know what the other is thinking.
Many of these secret codes we use have been taken from television and popular culture like commercials. They have tickled our mutual senses. Sometimes it is a line taken from a television series we watch. There have been many of them over the years, some much more memorable than others.
When trying to think of some, the first one that comes to mind is from a situational television show we saw years ago on. I cannot remember which one, unfortunately, but we immediately recognized the value of it in our own code language. Building on, or taking from, the basic insecurity of acknowledging another person’s attractiveness we began to say, “She seems nice.” We use it in the same way the show did; when one of us wants to acknowledge (without drooling) another persons’ physical beauty. It is non-threatening, yet still holds the possibility in all relationships, that once you peel off the façade maybe she (or he) will not be nice. Thus the implied, “I’ll stay with the devil I know.”
The next example would fall under the heading of just plain annoying. Sometimes one of us will hear something on a tv commercial that makes us cringe. Usually it is something, which has been played to death, making one of us go screaming out of the room when it comes on. I have two of those; the first came from the Mazda commercial where the kid whispers, “Zoom-Zoom”. I have no idea why it gets under my skin, but if my husband wants to up the ante and rile me up, all he has to do is utter under his breath a single “Zoom”. Thankfully we have passed by this one now.
The latest phrase he says to make me crazy is his uttering of, “Five doll-ah foot long.” The most annoying part is when he throws in (what I call) the “hula hands” for added emphasis. Without a doubt the fact he is tone deaf, having no ear at all for music makes this a really bad one. So not only is his attempted singing of the jingle bad, but he does not dance either! This is tantamount to a double whammy in my humble opinion. I know he only does it to see my reaction, and yet predictably, I do not let him down very often. It has become our joke now. I am patiently waiting for the price of those damn sandwiches to go back up and end it for the last time.
Taking an educated guess I would bet many of you know the next one; our latest and arguably the one we have the most fun with. It is taken from (of all things) a commercial for Cheerios¨™cereal. There are a few of them running, but the one hitting home with us is the forty-something couple bickering back and forth about what the cereal box says. He is reading the box out loud implying she is taking it for the medicinal purpose until finally the woman finally asks him, “What else does the box say?” He knows immediately from her tone, expression and body language where he crossed the line. Understanding this he answers her.... “It says, shut up Steve.” This gives us permission to communicate a feeling we ordinarily might stuff; yet by mimicking the character the sting of being personal is removed. Besides all of this... it is heart healthy.