“You have reached The Real Life Café.  For reservations press #1.  To Cancel reservations press #2.  To speak with an operator please hold.”

I hesitate.  These are difficult choices.  I press #1.  “This call may be monitored by the supervisor.”  A moment’s delay, then, “How may I assist you?”

Relief washes over me.  “I’d like to make a reservation for two.”

“Two?  As in people?”

“Well, yes...please.”

“When would you like them for?”

“Immediately if possible.”

“Oh...” I can hear the pages of the reservation book whooshing by, “...um...what kind of food?”

“One Emotional Sustenance and one Physical Nourishment.”

“Oh, we are pretty busy for a few days.  The limos keep coming and dropping people off.   I could squeeze in an Emotional Nourishment with an Emotional Gut Punch...how’s that sound?”

“What kind of Gut Punch?”

“Er-r-r...that would probably be our Unexpected Verbal, with a side of Angry Eyes.  Can you handle it?”

Hm-m-m.  I contemplate for a moment and realize I can't waste time with indecision. “Yes, that will be fine, if it's enough.”

“Okay then, that’s a party of two-- one wants the Emotional Nourishment, while the other will have a Verbal Gut Punch, maybe two, with a side of Angry Eyes...correct?”

“Yes...and could you get us a quiet corner room, one with low, mood lighting and some flashing wavy lights...you know the modern heart art kind of thing?  Some beeping noises and ambient swooshing would be nice too...if you have it.”

“Ah-h yes.  I think room Six is the one for you.  And your Nurse, the lovely Gina will assist you.”

“There will be an Oxygen Bar I take it?”

“Oh yes, Tubes.  I think one of you will like it more than the other, but it’s really good.”

“What time shall we expect you Sunday night?”

“Well, we’ll be doing the Oxygen Mask Bar until about ten, so is ten good?”

“Oh yes, ten is a slower time.  You can probably get in two good hours of Emotions and Gut Punches before the nourishment stint at the Oxygen Tubes.   If I may suggest...” Yes? “...try to keep an even keel, we prefer no crying--even though the spiciness of some of the punch will make you tear up.  Handwringing is permitted though.”

Rules too?  So much to remember now. 

“Oh, and the dresscode...all makeup is strongly advised to be waterproof, or just some lipgloss or chapstick.  The air is a little dry.  We don’t allow flowers or candles, but you may bring a photo to decorate the table if you like.”

“Thank you."  I guess I’m looking forward to it. 

“Good Luck.”

And so it begins. 

Lance and I take our places at the pink blanket covered bed... by midnight the place is full and bustling.   I have bitten my tongue, dabbed my eyes, stroked his head.  After a few hours the ambient noises and the Moving Heart Art  becomes annoying.  Lance is becoming loopy, combative, and he really hated the Oxygen Tube Bar.  

He says he needs a dentist appointment. He is confused.  He thinks we are in a Beauty Salon.  Uh-oh...he needs more Oxygen, not less.  I call the lovely Gina.  She agrees and thinks I am ready to go home.  I will leave him to sleep it off. I am the fortunate one.  I get to go home and take two aspirin and a shot of my baby's love. He will have a quiet night, the kind Michael Jackson wanted but....

And so ends another night where I find myself looking for a better day ahead. At least a better menu for tomorrow.  

Remind myself not to get The Sucker Punch on a whim...that hurt. 

Day ten...now behind us.  Hope we are hungry tomorrow, or maybe I will bring a picnic.