Tropical fruits abound in the Caribbean, each morning I start off my day with a fruit of some kind, followed by another melange at lunch and finally, at dinner I often order a chilled fruit soup.  

Eating a cut up Mango, drinking some freshly brewed coffee (served by Trevor the butler) on my balcony overlooking the turquoise waters of the Caribbean Sea is the perfect cure for the blues.

I’ve spent many Christmases away from home.   It was a kind of tradition for me and my husband for over a decade.  When it came, up just weeks after his death, I knew I had to make some kind of decision; to go or not.

 In St. Martin today!

Though I wondered if I could possibly handle it, I decided to come anyway.  This would give me something positive to look ahead to.  Little did I know when I gave the go ahead that day in September just how badly I would need to get away.

I have met only a few people traveling alone this holiday, all of them women, except for a Brit and the two dance hosts.  We have found some common ground, perhaps it was predestined I don’t know, but one of them spent 30+years with her husband who had also been in a wheelchair.  She was amazed that she met someone who had similar life experiences, knowing how difficult life can be for a caregiver, especially once “help” was needed.

Judy is a wonderful woman, and it probably didn’t hurt that she resembles Barbara Bush.  (Please don’t go all political, it’s merely an observation of her physical looks.)  She has worked full time for 45 years, living in Philadelphia.  I know she helped to blaze some of the very paths my husband and I traveled, and it is nice to be understood...a part of a club few know, but sadly more will get to as the wars continue and the rest of us age.

She has been a widow for three years, and another, JoAnne for about six years or so.  What a Godsend to be able to share meals with them, laugh and have a glass of bubbly and toast the New Year.

We all share a little of the blues about this time of year because...well, we spent much of our lives devoted to the men we married, for better or worse.  How could we not?

So tonight I’ll dress up in a midnight blue satin gown, fasten my silver shoes and Caribbean blue jewels I’ll wear and have an evening with my new friends, sans the man I spent 30 years with.  I’ll be secure in the knowledge that he would want me here eating Mangos, dropping salty tears over the side into the turquoise waters, and wearing blue on the outside yet trying to find the sunshine on the inside.

Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays to all of you, my very supportive and kind friends on Open Salon...may it be a warm and wonderful day for you all.