What it did instead was point out what is wrong with our government.  It got me to thinking how much I resented things which seem out of my control, like the government, those people who are supposed to be minding the money for we, the taxpayer.  And like the fact that as an artist and writer the fact my right hand has gotten so painful I cannot stand to type or draw like I once did.

My reluctance to fully admit to myself perhaps this could be a permanent problem kept me from moving on…writing and drawing.  I’ve been utterly miserable.

I resented the seeming loss to have freedom of my speech and creative ability…now that I actually was thinking I had useful things to share through both of them.  The writing aspect I missed for the ability to speak with people, share the foibles and folly of my 63 years. 

I became a grouch due to the inability to express myself in the ways that have helped me cope with so much over the past few years in particular.  Just ask the new husband.  Actually the more reasonable side of me does prevail, but usually only once I quit feeling the poor me crap.

Seriously, I just turned 63 and I have every reason to be happy and not waste time on misery and feeling sorry for this temporary condition which brought on my self-serving depression.  So, realizing my problems are nothing next to the really big ones we face in this country, those health issues much worse than my own I decided to stop thinking about the things I cannot do and instead focus on what I can do.

Hey, just because I can’t draw with my right hand, exactly what is wrong with my left one?  Nothing except it has always been the “also ran”.  I remembered when I broke my right wrist and had a cast for eight weeks…I learned to do a solo left-handed blow dry, apply my makeup, cook…well heck I could do most everything (even if the most difficult thing was wiping my own butt) if I took the time.  All that and take care of a man confined to a wheelchair.  Oh woe is me my ass.

So I approached my desk with awkward trepidation and eyeballed the pen…found a blank card and decided to commit the pen to the paper.   Nobody had to see the result.

Some hour later I finally stood back to see the impact of a completed card, colored in and totally done left-handed. Honestly, it has shakier lines, and some of the colors didn’t stay in the lines, but overall I felt vindicated…happy!

All we need to do to feel better is to commit then follow through on it.  I know it is simplistic, but sometimes it is the simple things, which work the best on complex-seeming problems.  If only government could see it this way.