The Sharpened Quill

Caitlin Kelly

Caitlin Kelly
Tarrytown, NY, USA
December 31
non-fiction author/speaker/consultant
Bio Author "Malled: My Unintentional Career in Retail" (Portfolio, April 2011), deemed "an excellent memoir" by Entertainment Weekly. Out in paperback July 31, 2012. I also edit other writers' work -- everything from thrillers to business books. Email me for hourly rates; references available.

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JUNE 8, 2011 11:28AM

What About Their Wives?

Rate: 6 Flag

Ah-nuld. DSK. Weiner.

What a sad, stupid, nasty trio of egos gone wild. All-id-all-the-time!

For those unaware of the drama, all three have managed to trash their marriages in the tabloids by chasing/attacking/sexually texting women to whom they are not married -- and usually women who are younger or otherwise economically less powerful. 

And, yet, they all (this week, anyway), have super alpha wives: smart, educated, powerful, wealthy.

Anne Sinclair, DSK's wife, millionaire, broadcaster.

Huma Abedin, aide to Hillary Clinton, featured in Vogue: gorgeous, married less than two years to Weiner. (I do wonder what Hillary is saying to her about surviving such marital insanities.)

Maria Shriver, ex-broadcaster, ex First Lady, member of the Kennedy clan.

Their alpha men can't keep their trousers zipped, nor be truthful or faithful.

My ex-husband wailed to me, on June 15, 1994, after barely two years of marriage, "I'm leaving" and ran off with someone he worked with.

Six weeks after I threw his stuff into garbage bags --- after seven years of trying to make the thing work --- I had a funny, fun, kind new boyfriend. And a marriage proposal from someone else in another  country who had loved me from afar for decades.

These men are morons -- and their women? I can't fathom the rage and embarrassment they must feel at having chosen them or stayed with them.

Women like these have choices, plenty of them, and better ones than these wretches.

I'd change the locks and start proceedings on every one of these losers.

What would you do?

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I blogged on this very topic, and these three women specifically (with focus on Huma), earlier this morning: The Mystery Woman
Well, apparently Maria's not sticking around. I'm very curious to see more about Huma, she seems like a fascinating person. Maybe this whole thing will bring her some recognition.
I wonder if it all comes down to this: A lot of men, deep down, want a sexual partner who will be subservient (quite literally, as we have seen lately), and have such fragile egos that they are turned off sexually by a woman who is competent and successful.
Well, I see your point about being threatened by strong women....but these men proposed to them, married them and had kids with them. So I'm missing something here....unless (which is too depressing for words) there is some nasty payback in humiliating your alpha wife by actually choosing bimbos.

Huma has already had a super successful life before Weiner. She hardly needed rescuing or any sort of reflected glory.
I think that they were possibly deluding themselves, thinking that they were doing the "right thing", the "expected thing" by marrying an equal. And then they realized that wasn't really what they wanted. I don't think they actively wanted to humiliate their wives, but who knows - maybe there is some kind of resentment there. (Undeserved resentment. But this kind of thing is rarely logical, is it?)

I'm speculating, of course. The real story is probably far too complicated and unique to each individual and couple.
There's something more going on with Weiner that's not being said, and personally I'm waiting for that particular shoe to drop. It could be anything from "it's a marriage of convenience only/for politics/for whatever" or something that I have yet to figure out. The reason I say this is that I'm an expert at analyzing political situations, and in almost all situations, I can't tell you when something seems to be left out of a story, and in this one, something is definitely not being told, whether by choice, lack of information or more yet to come.
Caitlin, there are subtopics to all these discussions, including whether or not any of them are or were marriages of convenience or cover. I agree with many of your points about alpha females, and we can I believe safely presume in these three marriages all parties were willing to consent. My own article ends up being as much about Hillary as anyone.
Change the locks and start proceedings on every one of these losers.


I think the difference between these high-powered marriages and the long-suffering wives who suffer through them, is that theirs are on a global stage.

In Hillary's case, I believe she was stuck: if she couldn't forgive Ramblin' Bill and stand by him, then how could his country follow suit? Or the world? Our marriages are, mostly, not for public consumption; who cares if we stay or leave? The fate of the free world isn't on OUR shoulders. And it's not as if ol' Hill was being cuckolded as she was outside hanging the wash.

As for Maria--I think she was suffering Arnold's atrocities just long enough for him to leave office; it was a fairly foregone conclusion that he wouldn't be the Great Austrian Hope for the presidency after all. But once the clock ran out--good for her, I say, and I doubt if she'll remain unencumbered for long, professionally or personally.

As for Huma--I believe she'll stick around just long enough for Randy Andy (remember Prince Andrew's exploits?) to get through this very-public mess before she leaves him--"standing by her man." If only to prove that she's not a total shit, even if he is.

The more things change, the more they never do...
I think you have to consider the possibility that these women are morons too...