Even as you are busy donning your boxer shorts with the hearts  on them, or your red thong, in anticipation of a day and night of pure dionysian pleasure with your loved one, the world marches on.

I am sure you are so busy writhing in bliss that you have scarcely had a moment to notice news stories that are trending in the media.

I, being past all that, have taken the time to put together a collection of today's headlines for you to reflect on when things cool down: 

NAKED MAN ARRESTED FOR BEING COVERED IN CHOCOLATE AND PEANUT BUTTER

MALAYSIA BUSTS 80 LOVERS IN VALENTINE'S RAID

RAM AND DOE TO MARRY IN CHINA

REPUBLICANS TAKE ORGASM LEAD IN POLL: HAVE LESS FREQUENT BUT MORE INTENSE SEX THAN LIBERALS

FOR ICELANDIC LOVERS, AN INCEST DATABASE

JUDGE  ORDERS MAN TO TAKE WIFE ON DATE

GINGRICH SWIPES ROMNEY IN VALENTINE DAY-THEMED ATTACK

SEWERAGE PLANT OFFERS VALENTINE'S DAY TOURS 

By the way, these are actual headlines culled from my web browser. Nowhere could I find how Eliot Spitzer is spending the holiday, but I could venture a guess.

And who says there is no more romance in the world?