(Note: This is my contribution to Weekend Fiction. Comments are encouraged and constructive criticism welcome. I hope you enjoy.) 

A PLAY IN ONE ACT

The time: 1974

The Scene: Empty Manhattan subway platform on the Lexington  Avenue line.

Characters: Three pre-teen Catholic school boys: Boy 1, 12 years old; Boy 2 also 12; Boy 3, boy 2’s younger brother.

 (The boys enter)

 Boy 1: Where is everybody?  We musta just missed one. Every time we have to wait for that little shit brother of yours, we’re late. I can’t afford any more demerits.

Boy 2: (swats his brother on the head) You little creep!  There must be something goin on, because even if we miss a train, there’s usually somebody in the station.

 (Suddenly, an announcement comes over the PA: mumble, mumble, mumble, mumble!)

 Boy 1: What? What the fuck did he say? What is that Spanish or something? Why can’t he speak English?

Boy 2: I think it was English…. kinda.

Boy 1: Let’s take a cab. I have five bucks. How much do you have?

Boy 2: We each have a dollar.

Boy 1: Your big shot author father sends you to school with a buck?

Boy 2:  (Pointing toward the tracks) Hey, what’s that over by the third rail?  Looks like a book.

Boy 1: Yeah! I wonder how it got there?

Boy 2: Maybe somebody dropped it walking between the cars.

Boy 1: Maybe it sucked so bad somebody threw it away. Hey, I’ll bet it's your dad’s new book.

Boy 2:  Hey, I’ll bet it’s your sister’s diary. I hope she wrote about the part where she fucks every boy in the 9^th grade

Boy1: Hey, maybe it’s your momma’s new book: "How to Blow-Job Your Dog".

Boy 3: Maybe it was a mushy- gushy-love book and it sucked so bad the guy readin it said: “I can’t take it anymore”, and jumped in front of a train, book and all. He was chopped to bits, but the book wasn’t. I’ll bet there is all blood and stuff inside.

Boy 1 (Glares at Boy 3 for a moment) You are such a moron.

Boy 2: Maybe it’s Father Cullen’s new book: "Bad Habits: Nuns I Have Buggered."

(The two brothers laugh)

Boy 2 to Boy 3: What are you laughing at?

Boy 3: (Laughing) you said boogers!

(Boy 2 slaps Boy 3 in the head)

Boy 1: Father Cullen is queer.

Boy 2: Why do you say that?

Boy 1: ( silent for a moment, and then looks up the tunnel) Where is that goddamn train. I’ll have so many demerits they’ll put me in the fucking cloister.

(Another announcement comes over the loud speaker: “mumble, suspended, mumble,  mumble, mumble, restored)

 Boy 1: What the hell did he say?

Boy 2: I think he said the train is suspended. Can you guys read the title of the book?

(All three boys move to the edge of the platform and stare at the book)

Boy 2: I think I can make it out…. The Joy of ………

Boy 1: Sex!!  The Joy of Sex!! It’s a dirty book. I was reading it when they threw me out of Brentano’s. It shows people screwing in all sorts of ways. It’s only drawings, but the girls don’t look at all like Agnes Mulvaney does down there, they have hair on their twats and some of them are Chinese. We have to get it! Let’s lower your brother onto the tracks …

Boy 3: No,no,no!!  I’ ll rip my school pants and my mom will kill me, No, no, no!!

Boy 1 (waving a five dollar bill) I’ll give you this.

Boy 3: Well……..Okay

(The older boys take the younger one by the hands and lower him the four feet onto the tracks.)

Boy 2: Go slow. Stand as far from the third rail as you can get, and lift the book from the board on top. Whatever you do, don’t touch the third rail. I’m pretty sure it’s turned off, but mom will kill me if you get fried.

(The boy gingerly crosses the track . He stumbles and nearly falls into the third rail) 

Boy 3: I think there is a rat over there. I’m scared!

Boy 1: Quit whinin and get the damn book.

(Suddenly a horn sounds and a light from the train brightens the track.)

Boy 3: Mommy, mommy, a train is coming. I wanna go home!

Boy 2: Get the damn book!

(He grabs the book, turns around, trips and falls flat on his face across the tracks. The train’s horn sounds again.)

Boy 1: Get up, you dumb-ass!!

 (He gets up and lurches toward the platform. The older boys pull him up by the armpits. He is still clutching the book. Boy 1 snatches it, while Boy 2 tries to calm his brother.

Boy 1: The Joy of Cooking!!!!!!  The Joy of fucking Cooking!! It’s a recipe book!!

(He tosses it back onto the tracks.)

Boy 2: (Somberly) All that for a goddamn cookbook.

Boy 3: (as the train rumbles into the station.)  I’m scared, I’m scared. I wanna go home! I peed my pants!

Boy 2: Shut-up, Creepy. The train didn’t come anywhere near you. Don’t tell mom or I'll kick your runty, little ass.

(The train rolls into the station and the two older boys shove him in the door.)

Boy 2: (As the door closes) Why did you say Father Cullen is queer?

 The end