Shaken, Not Stirred

Humorous Essays and Other Stuff

Gerald Andersen

Gerald Andersen
Califon, New Jersey, United States
January 06
"“When I have one martini, I feel bigger, wiser, taller. When I have a second, I feel superlative. When I have more, there's no holding me.” - William Faulkner "I grow old...I grow old. I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled." -T.S. Eliot


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APRIL 3, 2012 1:31PM

A Spring Walk in Autumn

Rate: 16 Flag


The Inspiration for this poem is Vincent Van Gogh's "Undergrowth with Two Figures."

vg woods 

 Let’s take a walk on this fine Spring Day

 As we used to do in the time far away.

In the bower we'll gambol with glee

And stop to kiss beneath the  oak tree.


Oh, the air is so sweet! Could it get any better?

No, I don’t think you'll need your sweater.

Let’s run to the wood and recapture our time.

Yes, we’ll watch out for the ticks that cause  Lyme.


Let’s go to the fields, ourselves all alone.

What’s that you say? No, I don’t have my phone.

Let’s stop and nap on a large, warm rock.

No, I swear, I haven’t seen your sun block.


Ah, when you were a lass and I was your fella...

For Jesus Christ sake, leave the umbrella!

We’ve been this way before, so I really can’t guess,

Why you would suggest we bring the GPS.


Could we just leave, like maybe today?

No, I have not seen your bug spray.

Since when are you allergic to April grasses?

Jeez Louise, here’s your sunglasses!


I won’t start the car because  a walk we seek.

Holy shit, you’ve packed for a week!

How can I schlep this mighty sack?

Have you forgotten my gimpy back?


You can’t either on account of your knee.

Oh hell, lets just cuddle up and watch the TV.







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This is so cute. I love it./r
The Art makes it a perfect stroll! R
Very enjoyable. I shared the URL for this page with the folks in my writing group.

That is the trouble about recreating the spontaneous things we did we were young.
Very funny poem and lovely image.
rated with love
Ahhh...romance for the ages...or aged. Loved it.
Ha! Not what I expected...even better. I love this painting and the poem is delightful.
Achoo! But I see both POVs. Your wife must laugh a lot, living w/you :)
Oh yeah.... at least my inhaler will be nearby!!!
Funny, funny, funny satire on the (anticipated) rhapsodic walk of 2 lovers. This was a hard writing challenge (I'm starting to sweat in front of my blank canvas! Maybe my ear is in the way... Hmmm) but you turned the emotion on its head!
Thanks, everyone.
@LE: Thanks and please tell your group to go easy on me.
@Ash: Thanks and I am sure you will come up with something great, as usual. I just re-read Alysa's definition of fiction and I am not sure poetry would be considered fiction. On the other hand, I am not sure this would be considered poetry, so maybe I am okay.
there are those days when all else fails that I see what they've stuffed between the commercials. This was a pleasant stroll.
Great job and full of fun!
I see you and my husband have something in common...
You just never know when you might need a sweater/phone/bandaid/book. : )
Still cracks me up! This will become timeless...
Haha! Sadly(?), this is exactly how I experience nature!
paper or
a rhyme
in spring

itchy eyes
I imagined less Van Gogh while reading your—very funny—poem and more "The Lockhorns." Fantastic. The transition from the typical pastoral pose to the more likely difficulties of two people trying to get along crept in and then pounced; perfect.
What a mood killer! Hahaha! Loved this one!
Super poem and photo. Romance is the thing.
Excellent! I like the way you mixed a simple good old fashioned walk in the woods with the complications of modern life. Have we become so entrapped with the latest "conveniences" that we honestly cannot rough it if only for a short while?

Btw, I love to read new poems that rhyme. There is so much bad poetry that hides under "free verse" these days. R