Lausanne, Switzerland- The International Olympics Committee (IOC) has announced that it will recognize competitive eating as an official sport starting with the 2016 Olympics.
At the same time, hard-boiled egg swallowing will be featured as a demonstration sport.
This caps off a three year effort by the Society to Promote Eating Worldwide (SPEW) to obtain recognition for the fast growing sport. The group was sponsored by an international contingent of food manufacturers and distributors headed by Sysco and MacDonald’s Corp.
At first the European community opposed the proposal on the grounds that impoverished countries would have an unfair competitive advantage as they could stack the event with an endless supply of starving competitors. However, a study by Harvard University and funded by SPEW, proved exactly the opposite is true.
“Actually, starving people make poor eating competitors because their stomachs have shrunk,” said Professor Lyle Fescue, the Harvard dietary expert who conducted the study. “Or have they shrank? I am never sure about that,” he added.
In its announcement, the IOC said that each competitor in both individual and team events would be required to participate in three phases: hamburgers, spaghetti, and ice cream. The goal, according to an IOC spokesman, is to achieve dietary balance. “We have attempted to cover the three major food groups: meat, carbs, and sugar.”
Competitive eating has been growing by leaps and bounds in recent years. A professional circuit was formed three years ago and the IOC plans to allow the pros to compete in the Olympics. “If LeBraun James can compete in basketball, I don’t see why Oscar Lumpkin can’t weigh in on hamburgers,” a SPEW spokesperson observed.
Lumpkin, a 28 year old New Jersey native, is the current record holder in eight competitive food categories and is considered the Babe Ruth of professional gorging. With Lumpkin and a vast population of over-indulgers, the United States expects to dominate in the new event
Although he built his reputation in weenies, he holds records in many categories including the Guiness world record in Twinkies.
A slight man at 5’8” and 130 pounds, Lumpkin angrily denies claims that he is a “chucker.” In basketball a “chucker” is a player who shoots the ball too much, while in gorging it refers to someone who, through artificial means, disgorges the contents of his or her stomach.
“If I eat it, I keep it until Mother Nature takes its course,” Lumpkin says. He credits a sturdy digestive and waste removal system for his trim physique. “I have about 18 bowel movements (BMs) a day and they are nice meaty ones, not the runny kind,” he proudly declares.
Raised by vegans, the young man had to virtually invent himself. "I ate nuts and twigs until I was twelve." he bitterly recalls. "The first time I wandered into a fast food joint, I literally heard choirs singing."
The shy young man had difficulty all through school being teased by his classmates and punished by his teachers for raising his hand to be excused as often as 12 times a day.
Prior the 2016 games, NBC ,which will broadcast the two week event, will be airing a moving documentary about Lumpkin's difficult youth called: "I Pooped My Pants, But Its The System That Stinks."
He recently signed a lucrative contract with MacDonald’s Corporation and will be touring schools nationwide on an educational program to be called “Eat It All, Eat It Now.”
“This tour will flush away forever the tired old myth,” a MacDonald’s spokesperson said. “that there is any connection whatsoever between obesity and overeating.”