4 Rules to Remember

We don’t have a lot of time, people, so please pay attention and act accordingly.

A recession is knocking at our door.  It won’t be long until the door is kicked in.  In case you don’t remember, or haven’t lived through one, severe recessions are terrifying things that force many of us to put our dreams in a box at the back of the closet for awhile, and lower our expectations.

Forget about whose fault this is.  It doesn’t matter now, and the answer wouldn’t be clear and simple anyway.  What matters is a bit of planning and preparation.  Here are a few rules to tape to the fridge.

1.  Take this Job and Love It:  Boss, I just want you to know that you were exceptional in this morning’s weekly planning meeting.  Your leadership skills are remarkable.  I’m really enjoying the work I’m doing right now.  But I’d like to do more.  That pet project of yours?  Brilliant.  Put me on it, and I’ll make it happen.  It should take about two years.  Oh, and I don’t know why Smith keeps complaining that you’re a tyrant, and talking about starting his own company.  Do you want me to have a chat with him?  By the way, have you been working out?  Because you’re looking great.

2.  Your Marriage Looks Terrific in this Light:  Unless you have a spouse who likes Madonna’s music, or who gambles away your drinking money, you are not getting a divorce right now.  No one needs to face uncertain economic times and the grand emotional and financial adventure of divorce, simultaneously.  Defer or deny your musings on independence and your fantasies of greener grass.  See that face across the kitchen table?  That’s your partner in the lifeboat you’ll be sharing for awhile.  So cancel the appointment with the lawyer, keep your indiscretions as discreet as possible, and try writing a love note to the one you’re with.

3.  Your Mom & Dad Are Now Fantastic:  You know who has money in the middle class?  Old people.  Their house is paid for, they don’t go out to fancy dinners much, they didn’t just waste an obscene amount of cash on tickets to the AC/DC concert, and they don’t have us at home sucking their coffers dry anymore.  They are economic rocks of Gibraltar.  Start ramping up the frequency of your calls and visits.  Do it gradually, so it’s not obvious.  Listen to their stories.  Tell them how much you appreciate how they raised you, and give specific examples of how you’re applying this knowledge and experience with your own little ones.  This is sound alternative financial planning.  Mom & Dad = bank of last resort. 

4.  The Best Things in Life Are Free (or Cheap):  This is, of course, not true.  But you must convince yourself that it is.  With enough repetition and conditioning, we are capable of brainwashing ourselves and our families to accept that a family hike in the woods is better than a $200 night at the hockey game.  Convince your spouse that an evening of romantic intimacy at home, with the kids sleeping across the hall, is every bit as good as an evening of romantic intimacy in Antigua, with the kids 2,000 miles away.  Being really quiet actually makes things more exciting.  Last Christmas?  You shelled out for a new video game console and something involving a diamond.  This Christmas?  Think about a second-hand guitar and something involving knitting.

We’ll get through this, people.  We’re strong enough.  We’ll tighten our belts.  We’ll hunker down.  We’ll keep our nose to the grindstone, and every other cliché we heard from our parents and grandparents.  Those clichés were hard-earned, though.  We have to remember that the old folks made it through 25% unemployment during the Depression, and wartime ration cards that limited how much butter they were allowed to buy.  As much as it might stick in the craw, it’s probably worthwhile to nod to the wisdom of our elders, who kept their families whole – and did it without the extended cable package or heated car seats.

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 Cam Battley lives quietly in rural Ontario, Canada.