It took the investigative skills of intrepid Fort Worth Star-Telegram sports columnist Gil LeBreton to uncover the ugly truth.  Like Edward R. Murrow in pre-World War II Vienna and London, Mr. LeBreton put his personal safety at risk to file a brave report from the turbulent city of Vancouver: “In these Olympics, Canadians only paid attention to Canada”. 

Sure, Canadians seem multicultural, friendly and good-natured on the surface.  But that’s just what they want you to think.  Dig a little deeper and you’ll find that they’re plotting to crush the world under their jackboots.  Or snowshoes.  Whatever.

Here’s how Mr. LeBreton broke the startling news.

Dateline:  Vancouver, British Columbia

Lead:  After a spirited torch relay ignited pride in every corner of the country, the Olympic Games began and quickly galvanized the nation.  Flags were everywhere. The country's national symbol hung from windows and was worn on nearly everyone's clothing.  Fervent crowds cheered every victory by the host nation.

But enough about the 1936 Berlin Olympics.

So true.  The parallels between Berlin 1936 and Vancouver 2010 are clear, if you just pay attention.

Not everyone has the perspicacity to discern the neo-Nazi threat north of America’s borders.  Fortunately, Mr. LeBreton does.  Because he’s more observant than most.  He makes the cognitive connections others miss.

For 17 days we were barraged with Canadian flags, rode buses and trains with people in sweatshirts and jerseys adorned with Canadian maple leafs, and were serenaded at venues by Canadian spectators, lustily cheering for Canadian athletes.

My God.  It’s spine-chilling. 

The rest of the world was lulled into complacency and Olympic fever.  But the Star-Telegram’s crack reporter wasn’t fooled by the crafty Canucks.  Their display of patriotism reminded him of something.  Something terrifying.

I didn't attend the '36 Olympics, but I've seen the pictures. Swastikas everywhere.

You see?  Maple leaf flag = swastika.  Damn you, Canada. 

Now, I don't want to say that Gil LeBreton is the finest newspaperman of our age.  That would be premature.  But once Canada’s true face has been fully revealed - surely including plans to invade its neighbours, build terror weapons and implement an horrific program to eliminate an entire people from the planet – I have no doubt that the gentleman will receive the Pulitzer Prize he so richly deserves.

Those Canadians, with their flags, their beer, their lusty cheering and their record number of gold medals by any country in any winter Olympics… they make me sick.  Given Mr. LeBreton’s Canada-Nazi revelations, it’s a wonder Canada's closing ceremony flag bearer, figure skater Joannie Rochette, didn’t goosestep into the arena.

Wake up, America.  Wake up to the real threat.  Gil LeBreton saw through the façade.

Nice party. But so 1936.

Don’t be fooled by their maple syrup-sweet smiles.  It’s time to mobilize against the Molson drinking hordes.  Today they have their arm around America’s shoulders.  But tomorrow, they’ll have their boot on America’s throat.

Nazis.  I hate those guys.

Cam Battley lives quietly in rural Ontario, Canada.