I tried, sort of, to live up to that promise for a while but when you've spent close to half a century doing all the wrong things, it's pretty tough to change. I did try to eat better, some, and eventually I started walking during my lunch hour and it did help, some, but it wasn't nearly enough. I dropped about 15 lbs from my peak and then stalled out.

When Larry Miller, the owner of the Utah Jazz and a man I admire, lost his legs top diabetes and then his life to complication from the amputation surgery, it shook me up enough to get semi-serious. I started a spreadsheet to track my blood sugar and weight and resumed the walking that had stalled out when I changed jobs. I posted my first Beat the Bastard post about my intentions and then, a few months later I had to admit that The Bastard had taken round one. Those posts have since been deleted.

I cruised along in denial for a while, happily sitting on my ass and eating wrong until finally I could deny no more. I was maxed out on two different medications for my blood sugar and still it was too high. The Dr. told me it was time to start on insulin.

I had a long conversation with a good friend who is on insulin. I might also add that he is permanently disabled due to a very severe heart attack. We talked about costs and the various delivery systems and what was entailed in a life of insulin dependance.

The thing is, well meaning people can tell you everything you don't want to hear, they can nag you, they can pester you, they can get annoyed with you and even fight with you over it, but until you decide that you're going to do it, none of that matters. After that conversation with my friend, I decided in earnest that I'd had enough. I simply wasn't ready for that life so I joined a gym the next day. That was in May of 2010.

In August, I posted the results of my renewed effort up to that point. I was amazed to learn that all that getting healthy and eating right and working out stuff not only works, it works with gusto. My weight loss has been much slower than anyone who watches Biggest Loser might expect that but is intentional. First, because I was never close to that kind of obesity, but mostly because this is about sustainable lifestyle, not fad dieting and it is working well.

I'm down 30 lbs from my weight at my first half-hearted start in 2009, and 44 lbs from my all-time peak. Most of that has come since I got serious last May. I have completely eliminated one of my diabetes meds and my blood sugar is spot on. My BP also is spot on. I look better and I feel better and my wife has taken to calling me her muscly man.

I'm still not where I want to be, which is why this fight goes on, but the middle rounds are solidly mine and now I know that I will win this fight. I have reached a point where I no longer hope it or wish it, I know it.

If you're struggling with similar issues, recognize that you can only change when it becomes more important to you than keeping the habits that got you here. You, and only you can do it and you have to get your head in the right place. Start there. Start with your head and your heart and body will soon follow.