It was a rare treat and a perfect idea but we screwed it up.  We said 'adults only' at a time when we siblings and mom were the only adults in the family.  Those kids got to be 16, 18, 20... even 30 and somehow they got the notion that 'adults only' included them.  At 16, maybe even 18, you can make an argument that they are not yet adult.  Heck, even at 20, when they still live at home and are dependent on mom and dad, you can make that argument.   When they have kids of their own and those kids turn 16, 18, 20... not so much.

'Siblings only.'  All we had to do was say 'siblings only' and none of this would have happened.  I could make my annual trip home for mom's birthday and enjoy the company of mom, my five siblings and their husbands in a rare evening with no mega-crowds, instead of trying to find mom in a crowded room with 60+ other “people”.  Somehow along the way, 'adults only' came to mean grown kids and any young children for which they could not find a sitter.  ::Gah::

This is wrong on so many levels I hardly know where to start.  See, I like kids when they are kids and you can relate to them as kids.  You should see me with my two year old grand daughter.  We have a blast and when she gets bratty I send her off to mom or grandma and retreat to my room.  This, my friends, is how it should be.  Then they get to their teenage years and want to be treated and thought of as adults, even though they are quite putrid creatures at that age.

It's around that time that they start having their own thoughts and, get this... feelings!  Grownup feelings! ADULT feelings!  To quote Pink Floyd, “Feelings of an almost HUMAN nature!”  I know, gross huh?  

Oh sure, when I was a teenager I did have my own thoughts and feelings and I try to remind myself of this when Emy Army Bunny posts something gross on facebook that implies that she takes herself seriously and thinks she has grown up thoughts and problems.  I have to resist the urge to comment “Oh good grief.  ~eyeroll~” on nearly every FB status lately.  Sometimes I just use the shorthand version, “Ick”.

EAB is going through a tough breakup after a 'relationship' of a year and a half.  I use the term relationship loosely because, c'mon, they're 16 fer cryin' out loud.  I mean, get over it already. 
 
When I was 16, my first serious girlfriend dumped me and I still haven't fully recovered.  Alone in my room, I cried and cried night after night for the next 35 years while I listened to the same songs over and over and over. And over again.  And again.

Hell, I still cry whenever I hear the Beatles’ “I Want You (She's So Heavy).”

Deep, deep, meaningful lyrics and written just for me, me, me.  They don't write em like that anymore.  Oh but I DID want her so bad... See what I mean?  Teenagers are gross, and you know it, so stop acting all shocked.

Eventually I come to think of my grownup nieces and nephews as adults, usually somewhere around the age of 30.  My own daughter achieved adulthood in my mind at around 25 and my step daughter seems pretty grown up at 23.  A few others, who shall remain nameless, still haven't achieved adult status in my mind into their mid-thirties and even forties, but that may be a different post.

I can see now that it's the transition that confuses me.  They go from bratty kids that you can tell to shut the hell up and send off to sit in the corner, to teenagers that tell you to shut the hell up when you try to send them to the corner and then - somehow, some crazy way - they become  ~gulp~ adults. 

It happens, I know it happens and even while being annoyed by it I still can't see it while it's happening.  I guess one clue might be when they start watching incessant reruns of Friends and thinking that it actually resembles real life.

All I know is that one day they're annoying snot-nosed kids and then - poof!  I make the 900 mile drive home and there they are, sitting at the table at mom's birthday dinner just as big as life and acting as if they have every right to be there.  Then, just to rub my nose in it, they hand me an invitation to their kid's high school graduation!  

Mom will be 90 on her next birthday so I guess it's too late correct our error now.  Semantics, ya know? Simple semantics.  If only we'd had the foresight to say 'siblings only'.  Can you even imagine how much better my life would be today? 

Me neither.