Like many Americans, I am feeling the pinch of our poor economy. Gas prices have gone up tremendously and grocery prices are through the roof, while my income has, well, let's say stagnated. Without getting into all the reasons why, because of course that's not relevant at all, suffice it to say that my personal budget is currently running a deficit.
The simple fact of the matter is that I've been raising my personal debt ceiling pretty consistently over the last couple of years. Thank goodness I don't need congressional approval for that!
I know what you're thinking right about now, that I'm about to ask for a raise. Fear not. That is so 1999. You see, in their infinite wisdom, the Republican congress has come up with a new math, really a new reality. It seems that the only way to balance a budget is to cut, cut, cut and I have to admit, I have been wasteful.
After careful thought, I realize that it's simply not necessary to eat three meals per day. CUT! Heat in the winter? I have a roof over my head and blankets. Running a furnace is just plain wasteful. CUT! Education for my children? Fat lot of good education does in this economy. CUT!
Remember that pay cut you gave us two years ago when all this started, the one that was to be temporary? I am here to ask that you make it permanent. Please look hard to see if there are a few benefits you can cut as well. I know that the only way out of this abyss is to let you, the job creator, keep more of what I'm rightfully entitled to. It's only fair.
There is a silver lining, though. With all the money going back to you, the job creator, I'm looking forward to the extra help I'll have with this workload. Please let me know when the hiring begins. I know plenty of folks who are looking for work.