Dear Employer,
Like many Americans, I am feeling the pinch of our poor economy. Gas prices have gone up tremendously and grocery prices are through the roof, while my income has, well, let's say stagnated. Without getting into all the reasons why, because of course that's not relevant at all, suffice it to say that my personal budget is currently running a deficit.
The simple fact of the matter is that I've been raising my personal debt ceiling pretty consistently over the last couple of years. Thank goodness I don't need congressional approval for that!
I know what you're thinking right about now, that I'm about to ask for a raise. Fear not. That is so 1999. You see, in their infinite wisdom, the Republican congress has come up with a new math, really a new reality. It seems that the only way to balance a budget is to cut, cut, cut and I have to admit, I have been wasteful.
After careful thought, I realize that it's simply not necessary to eat three meals per day. CUT! Heat in the winter? I have a roof over my head and blankets. Running a furnace is just plain wasteful. CUT! Education for my children? Fat lot of good education does in this economy. CUT!
Remember that pay cut you gave us two years ago when all this started, the one that was to be temporary? I am here to ask that you make it permanent. Please look hard to see if there are a few benefits you can cut as well. I know that the only way out of this abyss is to let you, the job creator, keep more of what I'm rightfully entitled to. It's only fair.
There is a silver lining, though. With all the money going back to you, the job creator, I'm looking forward to the extra help I'll have with this workload. Please let me know when the hiring begins. I know plenty of folks who are looking for work.
Sincerely,
Major Mojo
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Mr. Culture
Out on a limb
Miguela Holt y Roybal
Margaret Feike
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Charles Yoo
Salon.com
Comments
Sheila, it's hard to imagine that anyone, even our dull-witted congress, doesn't already get it.
Excellent letter....
That should solve all the problems.
-R-
Why are all our countries running a huge deficit that ruins the lives of ordinary people like us? Well, I don't know ... might it have something to do with a buncha undeclared wars and such? Naw. Can't be. It's just the will of Gawd. The Bible tells us so.
Goin' to the garden to eat worms. If they haven't all starved to death. Be well, my son.
The irony - it hurts.
Except the Prez, he was like, GIVE ME SOME OF THAT THAI LOVIN!!!!!
:D
I'm to the point right now, send all of them off to bed without dinner, and keep doin' that till they figure out how to play nice with each other and fix the Goddamn issues!!
Unemployed numbers in most part, still too high, in the State of Tink, it's still 50 percent(cause see, I'm not working, but the wife is, she's like GET A JOB!!!!!!! YOU LAZY ASSHOLE!!! Is that anyway to talk to the Governor of the State of Tink...I didn't think so either but she's the boss!!! ~nodding~ :D)
(don't go all teary eyed)
It might be time to leave them to their maundering and just take control of our own world without them.
"....of the people, by the people, for the people...."
(*o*)
.
Candace, the way I see it, if Gawd was going to strike me down, she'd have done it long ago.
She needs to show you a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Gov. Tink
Thank you, Tai.
I won't go teary eyed, Gabby, but I might feint.
Hear hear, Smittie
LL, they get it. They just figure the rest of us are too dumb to figure it out. Of course, about half of us are.
Tinker, leave poor LL alone!
Kinda makes you want to bitch slap them, eh Pixie?