Major Mojo

Major Mojo
Location
QuiXand Ranch, Washington, Milky Way, Universe
Birthday
April 02
Title
Major Mojo
Company
Pastafarian Navy
Bio
Former human turned evil clown. ....................................................... ........................................................ Banner by the incomparable Ric Tresa ........................................................

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AUGUST 30, 2011 10:42PM

I went looking for adventure (and brother did I find it)

Rate: 20 Flag

* This actually started life as an email to a friend and then I decide it would make an interesting post. 

  old columbia highway

My weekend ride turned out to be quite an adventure.  We had a great ride down to The Dalles, OR.  The highlights for me were Lyle Canyon Road and Old Columbia Highway which is just a little detour off I-84 that ends at an overlook with some spectacular views. 

more the dalles 

Now that's what you call a motha-humpin' twistie!

A group of six of us made the trip, the best part of which was a 30 mile loop up Lyle Canyon and down another canyon whose name I don't recall. Three of us were in the fast group well ahead of the pack in Lyle Canyon and on some of the other twistier roads, John on a Honda Blackbird XX, Leo on a new Connie and me on my Honda Hornet ubermachine. 

John and Leo set a blistering pace and I chased them through most of the fast parts.  It was an absolute blast; keeping the revs up through the tight twisties, using engine compression to brake into the curves and then pulling hard out the other side.

  old columbia highway again

The view from a lookout along The Old Columbia Highway.  That's the Columbia River and I-84 near The Dalles, OR

On the way home on Sunday, we took a detour from the main forest service road over St. Helens up to the Windy Ridge lookout, which is about an hour and a half from my house.  We stopped at the bottom of the road for a rest and Randy, who was leading the ride, suggested that one of us faster riders should lead because he was going to take it easy and look at the scenery. 

  aerostitch

That bright yellow Aerostitch riding suit just may be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.  Keep reading and you'll find out why.

John suggested that I lead but before I could, Leo took off in a shot so I chased him up the mountain.  He was absolutely flying and I was having a blast in formation right behind him, really getting after it.  Almost every curve was marked 20 mph and some were legitimately 20 mph curves but most were not.  It was really hard to know which ones to believe but it was pointed out that WSDOT is not in the business of enhancing the experience of speeding motorcyclists.

We burned our way up the hill for about 10 miles when John went around me on an outside curve, which surprised me because I was really hauling.  Honestly, I don't check my mirrors much in those situations because no one ever passes me when I'm flying through the twisties, and especially not on an outside curve.  Just a couple of minutes later John passed Leo and we all fell into a pretty tight formation at that point. 

A few minutes after John passed us, I was on Leo's tail heading into a curve and I entered it just as Leo disappeared from my view.  I got a quarter of the way around and saw skid marks and white marks on the road and a cloud of dust rising off to my left where there was a steep embankment. 

the scene

The scene of the crime.  I effen hate decreasing radius turns!  So does John.  ;-( 

Leo had stopped in the middle of the lane in front of me so I pulled to his right and then he moved to the right as well to try and turn around.  I very nearly hit him and made full use of both brakes.

It was a totally surreal slow-motion moment that couldn't possibly have lasted more than a second or two while I tried to compute what had happened.  On some level I knew, on another I was in denial, refusing to believe that a crash had occurred and on yet another it was exactly what I was expecting, given how John was riding. 

I had a horrible feeling that John was at the bottom of the ravine or impaled on one of those freaky burned out and broke trees around the volcano, because neither he nor the bike were anywhere to be seen. It was an easy thousand feet down, once you crossed a dirt access road. 

I can't even describe the relief I felt when John popped up in his bright yellow Aerostitch suit.  The rider landed in a clump of bushes on the near side of the access road and the bike was buried in the scrub on the far side, 10 feet shy of the drop-off.  He was completely uninjured, not so much as a scratch, bruise or even soreness.  The bike is a total loss but his riding suit and helmet both did their jobs and they are now both spent.

blackbird

What's left of John's Blackbird XX in its penultimate resting place. 

I took a few hours away from work on Monday to help John and another rider retrieve the bike, which was an adventure all its own.  The handlebars were broken off, the front forks were no longer connected to the frame and pieces of the bodywork were all around.

I am very sore from spending over an hour trying to heave the leaking, broken bike into the back of a pickup.  How is it that John isn't even a little sore while I didn't crash but I'm sore as hell?

John was quite embarrassed and apologetic.  He was being a total squid and he knew it, showing off for his buddy Leo, who he works with but had never ridden with.  He said the first thought that entered his head after he crashed was that none of us would want to ride with him again.

It struck me as curious that when the most cautious riders I know go down they get hurt badly while John walked away a little poorer but unscathed.  I think it's because they had farther to fall.  John's head was only a foot from the pavement when when he exceeded his traction limit.  The lesson must be just to ride like hell... right?

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Well alrighty then!
Glad you all made it okay except for your buddy's bike. R
Thanks Trudge. I think the main injury was to his ego.
Thank God for riding suits that do their job! That's the lesson!
Maybe the lesson is: Be Lucky.
Wow!
I can just feel that sinking feeling when the rubber loses traction and the back end starts to head off in a direction not chosen by the rider. Things happen awfully fast after that......!

Glad your friend is OK. I guess, if you’re gonna dump yer bike, you might as well be properly dressed for the occasion.

.
I hit an oil slick which ended my motorcycle career. I could feel the speed as you guys raced through the turns. Your friend was one lucky son of a gun. Walked away? Unreal.
Yep, the lesson is, ride low, so you won't have so far to fall to the ground.

Wait, that's not it!!! More like, EEK!! LUCKY SON OF A BISCUIT EATER!!!

Motorcycles and things can be replaced, lucky he didn't end up dead going off that ledge!! ~nodding~ (Yep, been lucky a few times myself........showing off, oh my yes, hit the slicks, oh my yes, almost died, oh my yes...:D)

Rated!
Glad your buddy was okay and that the riding gear was effective.
"They tried to make me ride a motorcycle, and I said NO, NO, NO~~""
A salute to Amy Winehouse and the chances of seeing me on a bike going that fast!
Oh. My. So glad yellow suit guy was unscathed! And you too...
I'm glad your friend didn't get hurt....especially glad you didn't get hurt! I loved the pictures you posted! I wish you would put some pics of yourself....:)
I'm glad your friend didn't get hurt....especially glad you didn't get hurt! I loved the pictures you posted! I wish you would put some pics of yourself....:)
The one thing that's kept me from getting a motorcycle is that I tend to do very risky things, taking for granted that I really do know what I am doing. Control is an illusion. Me + Motorcycle might = One More Hair Raising Tale of How I Could Have Been Killed, but I doubt it. More likely, it would be someone else's Tale of How He Died. Pass.

Love the story.
Sitting here in a normal chair not flying down the old gorge highway, it hasn't occurred to me yet this morning that I would be better off riding fast on a motorcycle.
But I've known plenty of guys like that.
It's always fun until someone (or some *thing*) gets hurt!

For some reason, I always felt that the Dalles dam was evil and gave off a bad mojo everytime I went by it. I think the creepy juju caught your friend!
Ride like hell. Woo What a trip. Thanks for sharing.
That's one pranged motorcycle, Cappy. Glad your riding pal is OK, but he's one lucky SOB. Lot to be said for skill and experience, which should always preceed speed.

Beautiful scenery, though, and that hairpin? Mother of God. You have some wonderful places to ride.
Thanks for your comments all. I'm working right now so I can't take the time to answer individually, but I appreciate you all for reading.
Thanks for the vicarious trip. Your "mutha-humpin' twister" looks like most of the more than 300 turns in 11 miles of The Dragon's Tail -- which is just up the road from me. In fact, the Cherohala Skyway starts in our town. Come see for yourself that all the mountain roads ain't out West.
Right, you ask? Wrong!!! Graham County on the NC side from us reports that the cost of scraping riders -- mostly crotch rocketeers -- off the pavement far exceeds what the county takes in in tourist dollars -- you do the math.
Tom, the Dragon's Tail is on my bucket list. The guy in black in the above photo just came back from riding it, in fact he is wearing a T-shirt from the experience in the photo.
Well done Major..I salute you!

BTW, it's actually "Tail of the Dragon" (see http://www.tailofthedragon.com/ ) check out that babe in the pink helmet as her hot-rod pilot tries to be next in line at the "Tree of Shame" http://www.google.com/search?q=tree+of+shame+tail+of+the+dragon&hl=en&rlz=1G1GGLQ_ENUS240&prmd=ivns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=L5ZeTq2jMMnagQeBpfiIAg&ved=0CCEQsAQ&biw=1600&bih=1031
Raymond, we started our own little tree of shame. There were some blue body parts from some previous unlucky bloke as we left a black mirror with that. We were thinking it was called the tree of woe.
Hey, Bud! Congrats on the (much-deserved) EP.
Major, I have a song about the Dragon's Tail on my CD Motorcycle.
Who knew we had so many riding fans, me included. I ride sport bikes; my wife rides a cruiser. It's a mixed marriage, but we make it work.

Shit happens, but mostly it could have been avoided. The important thing to remember is that if you think you can't manage a corner, lean more. The worst that will happen is that you'll fall off from a lower height. Of course its easier said than done.
Who knew we had so many riding fans, me included. I ride sport bikes; my wife rides a cruiser. It's a mixed marriage, but we make it work.

Shit happens, but mostly it could have been avoided. The important thing to remember is that if you think you can't manage a corner, lean more. The worst that will happen is that you'll fall off from a lower height. Of course its easier said than done.
Uggggggg...thank goodness your friend wasn't hurt! Everyone I know pretty much gave up riding after too many accidents and near-misses, even though it's fun. My favorite cousin has a TBI from a motorcycle accident just a few years ago, he just slid out coming up over a hill, and his own bike somehow spiraled up and came down and hit him on the head. He can still live independently, but he can't work, and he is not the same person. I just can't bear it when I see the guys doing wheelies on the highway sometimes, especially when they don't have their helmet.
Lotta, lotta riders on here, Jimmy Zuma. Even old high-mile retreads like myself. The Major's pretty much in a league by himself, though.

And Clay Ball? Anyone who rides without a helmet is flat-out stupid. Been on and off two wheelers since I was 16, before there were helmet laws, and even then -- given my father's advice (he was a dispatch rider in the late hostilities in Europe) -- I thought my odds were much improved if I wore one. Turned out I was right ... and more than once.
Hey, how did I miss this post??? I guess 'cause they put it on the cover; I don't look up here very often, but congrats on the EP and some well-deserved recognition.

Anyway, this is excellent, no- nonsense writing and does a great job of describing what sounds like a lot of fun except for John almost dying and so forth. I been tellin' ya for years, them machines is danjerus!
@ Boanerges Redux, your father was a very wise man to instill that in you. Since the laws changed here a number of years ago, it seems that less and less people wear their helmets, I am just guessing maybe 1 out of 10 bikers I see on the road, if that. It's too bad.
Good Adventure dude. I bet you have a very good motorcycle right there. To be able to go on an adventure like that you need to have a well tuned motorcycle with good parts like the Motorcycle Gauge Accents.