Cap'n Parrotdead

Cap'n Parrotdead
QuiXlandia, Washington, Milky Way, Universe
April 02
Major Mojo
Pastafarian Navy
Former human turned evil clown. ....................................................... ........................................................ Banner by the incomparable Ric Tresa ........................................................


I'm having a tough time with what to say about recent events but it seems frivolous to comment on anything else right now.  I feel the outrage that many have expressed regarding talk of 2nd amendment solutions and targeting whatever it is that certain factions don't like.  We liberals loveRead full post »

JANUARY 8, 2011 1:15AM

Where were you in '62?

vamp aline It was a bitter cold January morning when Mom, Dad and I piled into the little green station wagon, headed for the big city. Thank goodness the Valiant had a heater, even though it would be a few more years before Dad owned his first air conditioned car.… Read full post »

“If Coke and Marlboro can sell to the world's poor, companies with useful products should be able to do it too.” ~ C.K. Prahalad

tata nano I'm not much of a techie.  I like my electronics, I'm just a notch shy of amazing with a spreadsheet and I can create… Read full post »

DECEMBER 30, 2010 8:54PM

If a little is good... the 14-day week.

When I was a young High School aged whippersnapper, I had a fast car, just like most of my friends.  If they had a slow car they tried to make into a fast car and if that failed, then they just made it look fast. 

We cool hot-rodders would… Read full post »

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't posted here much lately. There are a few reasons for that. One reason is that I'm just tired. I'm tired of vitriol, name calling and finger pointing, which seems to be what our political discourse has degenerated… Read full post »

DECEMBER 25, 2010 5:39PM

A Short Christmas Story

I left this comment on Margaret Fieke's cover post and decided to share it with everyone:

Thanks for this.  I could share my tales of woe regarding my experience with the unemployment I've been going through since my employer went under a year and a half ago but I just don't… Read full post »

DECEMBER 23, 2010 2:15PM

Almost Famous!

Just a quick link to a news article on my Home Energy Audit business.  We are the lead story on the front page of the local paper!  (Must be a slow news day.)

 You have to subscribe to the online paper to see the whole article so this link is to… Read full post »

DECEMBER 17, 2010 5:53AM

The Masterpiece

 I haven't been around much lately for a variety of reasons. I've been busy, stressed and full of drivel. I know being full of drivel never stopped me from posting before but now, we need a masterpiece.


I wish I were endowed with the aptitude to… Read full post »

DECEMBER 14, 2010 3:53PM

America: Whad a Cuntry

in soviet russiaI don't spell in Russian accent very well but who remembers Yakov Smirnoff and his 80's sitcom, 'America, What a Country' ? The crux of his humor was observing and misunderstanding the differences between life in America and Soviet Russia. Some examples:

I go to New YorkRead full post »

DECEMBER 3, 2010 8:35PM

My First Published Essay

It occurred in 1968, on the tiny Hawaiian Island of Molokai, in a little school surrounded by pineapple fields. I was in the 6th grade and we had just learned about the Electoral College. I was flummoxed beyond belief at the idea that the popular vote didn’t matter./… Read full post »

OCTOBER 13, 2010 10:55PM

Such a Nice Mormon Family

donny and marieMy family is made up of some of the nicest people you’d ever want to meet.  We don’t make a lot of waves and we’re very easy to get along with.  Growing up we were taught that if you couldn’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all and most of… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 26, 2010 5:28PM

Some-a y'all are sure fulla yerselves.

That's all.  Talk amongst yourselves. Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 24, 2010 12:47PM

25 or 6 2 4

1. Lingerie & pajamas. Bullshit. What do you really sleep in?

Generally just me skivvies, mate.  Maybe me sweats if it be too cold.

2. What’s the one thing in your refrigerator you’re goddamned angry about if someone touches it?

Are ye kiddin' me?  Like I can have anything… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 22, 2010 7:47PM

Because YOU have the big brain...

  vee dub

Apparently, it was the poor dog's head that did the damage.

This litter of puppies seems to be cursed when it comes to getting to their new homes. Their new owners keep finding reasons to ask us to keep them longer than usual.  I missed my flight to… Read full post »


are they kiddiing?
So is intercourse then, idget.

Bill Beck just coined the title phrase in his latest post about Christine O’Donnell and I determined instantly to steal it.  Sorry to disappoint you but this post isn’t actually about masturbation but rather the wacko with the… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 18, 2010 11:49AM

Life Off, Game On

This is Chapter Five of a book I've been working on tentativly title "The Exquisit Pain of Being a Utah Jazz Fan - A Personal Memoir".  With NBA training camp opening in a week or so, it seemed like a good time to start gearing up for the 2010-11 season.… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 17, 2010 1:57PM

Page 99: Mele Kalikimaka

This is page 99 from my novel "The Robin Hood of Wailkiki".  It will be my entry in the page 99 Test found here.

Thanks to Steven Axelrod and his excellent entry for bring this to my attention.


“Why don’t you two ride together?” Raven asked as they nearedRead full post »


Major Mojo, Builder of Bridges

I started blogging because I’m passionate about the things I believe in.  It might even be fair to say that I’m rather arrogant in my conviction that my view is correct. Read full post »

Yes, you read that right, people of OS.  Cap'n Parrotdead is no more.  Now before you get your panites all in a bunch, worry not.  This is not a flounce and Cappy is alive and well.  In fact, very well.

You see, Cap'n Parrotdead has been promoted to Major in the… Read full post »

 We’re seeing a lot of anger and vitriol all over the ‘net these days, whether it be Facebook or right here at our very own Open Salon.  While some of the specifics are new, most of it is just a variation on the age old themes of race, religion, gender andRead full post »

 Lordy, but I hate stories like this.  It’s bad enough that this poor 4 year old girl was raped in the Men’s room of a Deseret Industries store in Utah, but now we learn that the perp was a ‘model recovering sex offender’.  I guess I should backtrack and explainRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 7, 2010 12:50PM

What Sort of Freak Are You?


 I watched several episodes of “Hoarders” over the weekend.  Now those are some seriously fucked up people.  They fill their houses with garbage, or as they call it, “collectables”, until their house is no longer habitable.  According to the pro/… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 4, 2010 2:47PM

Morals Without Religion


Many years ago, I played basketball before work with a co-worker who was recently returned from an LDS Mission to Chile.  Once, when a vendor gave me a couple of tickets on short notice, I took him to a Jazz game.  When I picked him up he had/Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 2, 2010 4:15PM

LDS Bishop Murdered: Enough With the Mormon Bashing !


  catholic hats

And you want to make fun of Mormons for their underwear?

In Brandon’s Big Gay Blog, Brandon Burt talks about coming out as Gay in the LDS culture.  As you might guess, it was not easy and there was little acceptance from the LDS cultureRead full post »

AUGUST 31, 2010 2:14PM

Things I’m Afraid Of

  high anxietyWhen I was very young, I had a lot of fear.  I think most of it came from all that Hell Fire and Damnation stuff I got in church.  I had nightmares nightly, from which I usually ended up trying to awaken myself  by screaming, though I was unable to/… Read full post »