My home has been empty therse last two weeks as I had to go back for another surgery. Sometimes I wonder just what my purpose here on the planet is. I am smart and intellegent ( they do not always go together), I have goals. dreams, I am one who does the tasks I set out to do whether it be recording an album, putting myself through college, making friends in a place where I know nobody but God and me or just going through the daily mail. I have been ill since I was a child. It is nobody's fault; I am not looking for somebody to blame. I take full responsibility for my life and actions. Sometimes I just don't get it though. You know I do not have material wealth but I have love to give and sometimes that can end up in the wrong hands. I am feeling sad today. It may be the anesthesia, it may be the pain meds wearing off...there are a hundred things I could come up with as physiological reasons. The truh is all of my friends are getting or have been laid off. We live in a society of fear and consumption. I can choose not to let these things ( war, famine, genocide, economic downfall) bother me but I am human and they do. I wish I could cry to relieve the stress. Get the cortisol out. I had a lot of comments in my page here and I appreciate each and every one more than you know. I feel like someone give a shit. I feel like somebody is listening and I thank you all for that. I don't know what to do about all of the problems that plgue us as a world, country, state, city, or town. All I can do is the best I can do EVERY day. The tears are srarting to flow. Thank God. Stay strong and do not met the fear and consumption get you down. I Love you ALL, capo