(CX awoke briefly, he think he's been in a different time or dimension, AGP)

"Ive got these three projects and they are all in totally different directions.  I'm torn between them and it's led to inaction.  It's all caught up in my identity and I am really trying to get away from that.  Why is it so hard?

Started a new online dating thing.  This site actually has lots of women who are 90% compatible who I also find attractive, but which who decline my subtle advances.  More women have rejected me in one week than had in person for at least a few years.  I have really been considering what it may be like to be without sex for a few years.  Feels like a waste, but alright.    Luckily I like the xbox360.

I mean what am I even working for anymore?  So that I can make another 20k/yr so some woman will overlook my flaws?  So that I'll have paid off my student loans by the time I retire?  That I can send out another (script, song, breath) for rejection 'in this economy?'

Maybe it's the greyness, maybe it's just general lack of optimism.  

I hear my smarter self, and I hear a lot of you also saying, 'no need to be so glum, thus has it ever been, i know it looks that way now, can't lose every day' etc. 

I don't want a car.  I don't want to live in an xurb. "

AGP