(Read Part One)

So, I thought to myself, let me get this straight. We've known these people for a few months...we have a great time together...and suddenly they want to MARRY us? Really?

They hadn't been sending any signals that I could see. But, for a sexual omivore, I can be quite dense when it comes to recognizing a pass. I've cultivated that denseness. It serves as protection. Phobic about rejection, I've always had a policy that anyone that wanted me had to be pretty obvious, downright outspoken even, before I would believe they found me attractive. But never before had I been as blindsided as I was by this proposal. If that was really what it was.

I walked in the door with my mind reeling.

"Hey," my sweetie greeted me. "How was knitting?"

I laughed and he looked at me quizzically.

"Dude! You will never guess what Didi just said to me." I recounted the conversation verbatim.

My mate looked at me with eyes rounded by surprise. "You're shitting me!"

"Nope. I'm really not."

"Wow. WOOOOOW." He grinned. "Well, what do you want to do?"

"I really don't know! I mean, I know we've talked about maybe adding a little variety to our sex life, but I don't think I'm ready to settle down before we even start!"

We dissolved into giggles, tantalized by this very unexpected twist.

We were flattered, of course. And a little suspicious of Didi's motives, simply because we couldn't imagine where this had come from. We were intrigued, interested, and emotionally blown out. But one thing we weren't, at that point, was hot for them. It had simply never occured to us.  Not that they weren't attractive, but the idea of having sex with either of them had been only the most idle of fantasies and nothing that we had given any thought to actually happening.

Not only that, but once we got through the shock, our first thought was of George. Was this something he wanted? Did he even know Didi was talking to me about it?

Of the four of us, I was the oldest and by far the most sexually experienced. George and Didi were younger than us and seemed, if not naive, then certainly less eperienced than we were. My mate had had as many partners as me, and we both considered ourselves bisexual and had experiences to prove it, but only I had actually been involved in polyamory before.

(An aside - on our wedding eve, my love seemed nervous and preoccupied. I asked him to tell me what was bothering him, and he blurted out "I just don't know if I can be monogamous for the rest of my life!" I looked at him incredulously -- he certainly knew about my wild and multifarious past-- and replied "Who said anything about that!?")

Based on my previous experiences, I knew for sure that the only way for it to work at all (at least for me) was to be scrupulously honest and communicative about everything. And whether we pursued this opening or not, neither of us wanted it to become a hindrance to our friendship with either of them.

Thus began weeks of emails, conversations, and attempts to suss out what it was Didi really wanted and whether George was on board. During all this, my mate and I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what WE wanted and whether this was something that could work for us. It was so weird, in so many ways -- so counter to my usual path for entering an affair, which went something like:

Wow, you're really neat. You're smart too! And funny! And, mm, I never noticed how nice you smell. I think I'll secretly crush on you for a good long while. We'll become very close friends. And then, one day, we'll lock gazes, and let's face it, you'll have to make the first move but then OH GOD YOU KISSED ME, oh frabjous day, yes, you're awesome, let's go!!

(This could take anywhere from a week to several years to develop, and the one notable exception is my mate. I moved first on him - but by then I was absolutely certain we were going to be together and I'd gotten to where I just really needed to make sure the chemistry was there, so I kissed him. It was.)

Anyway. It had certainly never been an intellectual decision before. And that probably really should have told us something.

But still...how could we pass up this adventure? If it was really there for the asking. If George was ok with it. If we could come up with some reasonable ground rules, if we were truthful, if we acted with honor....what could go wrong?

What indeed?

To be continued.....