Once there was a homely little Princess who was very, very intense, even as a baby. While it is true that all babies cry, the way this Princess cried was unusual. She cried as if there was a hunger inside of her so huge and so deep that it could swallow up everyone in the room and that she would never, ever have enough food, love, or attention in her whole life.
This visible, insatiable hunger frightened the mother of the Princess very much. This mother was in fact a Saint. The Saint loved the Princess and felt it was best to ignore the insatiable nature of her daughter's hunger and treat her as if she was a normal baby, even though it was clear she was not.
Then the Princess learned to talk and her very first words were a pleading question, "How much do you love me?" The Saint did not like this type of question one bit. To make matters worse, the Saint had already endured a difficult life and was sad, depressed and grieving, so when the Princess asked her this question all the Saint could do was sigh.
Have you ever heard of nervous, new mothers sneaking into the nursery, putting their finger under the baby's nose to make sure that it's still breathing? With the Princess it was the other way around. From the time she could walk, she was the nervous daughter sneaking into her parents' room to make sure that her mother was still breathing. She worried because she loved the Saint so intensely.
Then the Princess became convinced that the Saint would one day take off without her and so she never let her mother out of her sight. In fact, the Princess was always watching the Saint, pleading for something that she couldn't name, following her from room to room. This put the Saint on edge. When the Saint came home after managing to escape to the market, there the Princess would be, springing at her like she had not seen another human being in years.
The Saint told her friends, "Her heart beats big in her saucer eyes. A hungry heart that follows me, swallows me up."
Now the truth is that having such a huge hungry heart gave the Princess a little bit of a superiority complex. She believed that she was better than other people because she knew she had more love in her heart than anyone else ever could. Sadly, this also gave the Princess an inferiority complex because she knew that she could never possibly be loved as much as she could love back.
After a childhood of much worry and longing, the gods finally smiled upon the homely little Princess and so she blossomed into a lovely young woman. Her body grew tall and thin and turned a sexy shade of copper in the sun. Her face finally accommodated her huge green eyes. Her blonde hair grew long and straight as was the current style. She was in fact beautiful.
The Saint was not pleased with these developments. She loved the Princess and knew that beauty drew out all sorts of shadowy characters from the underworld. And that is just what happened.
The Princess met a handsome Boy Man who was charming, silly and fun. Except for when he was not.
Sometimes the Boy Man would get angry and do terrible things to the teenaged Princess. The Princess told the Saint all about it. The Saint sighed. The teenaged Princess became pregnant. The Saint said, "Well, now I guess you have to marry him."
When the Princess held a baby in her arms for the first time ever it was her own child. She named the baby Girly Girl. The Saint got busy taking care of Girly Girl for a few months until the Boy Man asked her to leave. The Saint sighed.
Meanwhile, the Princess loved and adored her sweet little Girly Girl with posable arms and legs all dressed up in little lady costumes. She knew she would always love Girly Girl completely, no matter who she became. She wanted her to become like Eleanor Roosevelt or Florence Nightingale. She wanted to protect her from tornados, floods, electrical storms, e-coli, e-bola, ADD. She wanted to stimulate her mind, her senses, her scientific inquisitiveness with poetry, Mozart and star gazing. She wanted to provide her with an attentive father in a loving environment.
The Saint sighed. She visited the Princess daily and helped to raise Girly Girl when Boy Man was gone from the house.
But then the Boy Man would come home. He would go into the nursery and do terrible things. The Princess would try to listen from outside the nursery door because a loving mother does not just walk away and leave her baby. A loving mother stays and listens and tries to figure out what is happening. (Except for when a loving mother must put it out of her mind. But that cannot be helped.) A loving mother tries to figure out what to do. (Even though she can never come up with a solution. But that cannot be helped.)
The Princess was a loving mother. In fact, the Princess knew she had more love in her heart than any other mother could possibly have.
Girly Girl grew into a beautiful little girl. Her smile was sweet, her mannerisms charming and while drinking tea with the elderly neighbor ladies her dainty pinky would always point away from the cup. "What a little lady!" the neighbors exclaimed and the Princess would be pleased.
The Princess loved Girly Girl and never let her out of her sight, except for when she did. She followed her from room to room, watching her play, watching her watch TV, watching her sleep. This put Girly Girl on edge. When she came home from school, there the Princess would be, springing at her like she had not seen another human in years. "Jeez, mom," Girly Girl would say, "Jeez."
Girly Girl told her grandmother "Her heart beats big in her saucer eyes. A hungry heart that follows me, swallows me up." But all the Saint did was sigh.
The Princess always told Girly Girl to "Sit Still. Behave. Wipe that look off your face" and Girly Girl would turn her frown upside down. But Girly Girl had a mean streak. She would go out to play and call her little friend Lottie "a bitch." Sometimes Girly Girl would hold little Lottie hostage in Lottie's own bedroom and make her sit there doing nothing until she cried. But no matter how mean she could be, Girly Girl learned to do everything with a smile.
One day the Princess decided to talk to Girly Girl about Boy Man. "Your father beats me," the Princess said while opening her blouse to show Girly Girl the bruises. With that gesture the Princess opened herself to Girly Girl's fury. "I hate you, mom" Girly Girl said, "I hate you."
When Girly Girl was 11, Boy Man found a different princess and disappeared for awhile. This was good. When Girly Girl was 12, the Saint offered herself fully to Jesus and disappeared forever. This was not good. The Princess' worst fears were realized when her mother went away. She fell apart because now she truly would never be loved as much as she needed.
Girly Girl could see that her mother was becoming very vulnerable. In fact, the Princess became so vulnerable that she invited Boy Man back into their lives. One night, Boy Man came to their house while the Princess was laying on her bed crying. Boy Man had been drinking. Boy Man went into the Princess' bedroom and closed the door. Girly Girl stood outside the door and listened, for a moment, and then she took a deep breath and went right into that room and told Boy Man to leave. Boy Man was shocked, for a moment, and then he got up and left. Boy Man was never seen or heard from again.
Girly Girl grew into a beautiful, angry teenager. She hated the Princess. Girly Girl ran far, far away and never talked to the Princess again.
Until a year later, when Girly Girl was told the Princess had a dreadful disease. Girly Girl rushed right home and discovered that while she had been gone the beautiful Princess had transformed into a homely little girl. She was little and sad and scared. Girly Girl took the homely little Princess to her medical treatments and held her hand. She noticed that the Princess' heart still beat big in her saucer eyes and it was still a hungry heart that followed her, but it could no longer swallow her. Girly Girl had become too strong to be swallowed by anybody.
"How much do you love me?" the Princess asked her daughter. Girly Girl squeezed her hand. Then Girly Girl prayed to the Saint (who was now in heaven) to fill up the Princess's heart with love, because she had always needed it so badly.
The Saint didn't answer that prayer, but she did cure the Princess' dreadful disease. And Girly Girl tried to be nicer to the Princess forever after. It wasn't always easy, but she did her best. The End
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Murder Of Crows
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Comments
Wendy, I totally understand. Come back when you can, I'll be very interested to hear what you think.
I call my Granddaughter Pretty Little Princess.
She takes me to her bedroom and tells stories.
this read-
... so much...
little pinky.
tea parties.
heart love.
on on/on.
I thought You retired? Last eve your name came-up in a pleasnt conversation.
Ya thy peeper.
Ya bellow breath.
Fresh air breaths.
I just remember that dreamt I smelt someone with pleasant mint breath in my sleep.
I hope it was no EP.
Caroline was my Grandmothers name. Maria was my Mothers middle name. Fran.
Frances M. Donlan.
So. I comment here.
Bellows was to mend.
It's a 'bellows to mend'
It's Hotten's Slang. 1887.
The old game was `Hurls.
Hurls was to hurl a heavy black ball as far as you could. It was a big heavy wooden ball. I guess it was the old `Sot Poot? Shot Foot? Sweet Foot?
Stinky Feet?
Sore big toe?
The MOTTO?
PLAY FAIRS.
It was a big village event.
O, It was sorta like rugby?
The idea was be fair, safe!
HONEST. Nimble in body!
Agile. Puff with hardy lung!
Bump. Ping. PLAY HONEST!
It was said to`Bellows to Mend!
Ya need a good eye and a `Spirit!
I loved this. A Keeper. It conveys!
Ya get out of breath and 'Bellows!
Heal.
Mend.
My favorite book is `How To be Honest and Fix Anything. pugilist?
rant, spiel, and Never QUIT! Convey the Truth and `Bellow mends.
I began reading with a wow. I read to the end to read The End. Wow.
And you too Poor Woman, I'm so glad you read & enjoyed! Thank you.
Truthfully RSG, I haven't. Maybe I should? I don't know, not sure who my audience is. (other than my pup)
Yes, Hawley, the message of this story is how to survive with grace.
Thank you for reading, everyone.
Not sure if I want to continue in this style or not..
I'm glad that the Princess recovered!
Thank you Steve. It was the right thing to do.
~R~
Thank you for the kind words, unbreakable & pilgrim.