Today has been off kilter, starting with mid-morning thunderstorms when everyone was expecting dry & sunny.
The meteorologist repeats this optimistic forecast as we step out into pitch darkness at 10:45 am and then drive across town to my daughter's softball game which is of course cancelled because by the time we get there there is lightning and pouring rain.
On our way back home I decide to stop at our neighborhood garden store that I've driven by a million times.
It's our first time inside & we're amazed by the mile-long aisles with giant dancing bear topiaries and buddha fountains and ponds with huge orange and red fish. There's even a bakery & a cafe and then we turn an azalea filled corner and run right into a friend who is expected tonight at our house for dinner.
We laugh, discuss the menu and then wander our separate ways under a tin roof where the sound of falling rain crashes just over our heads.
An hour later we step out into the parking lot and my daughter exclaims "I feel like we just went to Alice's Wonderland."
In the car, I see myself in the rearview mirror and remember that I had not so much as combed my hair or washed my face before rushing out into the dark morning. This makes me laugh.
(so I went to school with a girl named azalea and I learned from facebook that I KID YOU NOT, she married a man whose last name is budd. What are the odds of that happening?)
Now the sun is shining and I feel like taking a nap.
But there is a house to clean & dinner to plan and I am thinking about
and its aftermath in my life, which I am again facing the fallout from even though at the age of 41 I've never really admitted to having it in the first place, because isn't that just a license for me to act crazy one day out of every month?
I don't need no stinkin' license!
And soon there will be menopause which will be a real hoot for everyone involved, I'm sure.
I'm also thinking about
self confidence which has been the focus of my work with adolescent girls for the past 12 years or so
and how when I turned 40 I suddenly had a boatload of it myself. I had 4o years of experience to back up my opinions and that seemed significant.
Now I'm approaching 42 and I'm back to feeling like an overgrown teenager and I certainly haven't been acting very confident lately, or is that just the
I want to write a book.
That was the goal I wrote in my diary when I was 12 and now it is thirty years later and I figure I'm halfway there, so maybe by the time I'm 72?
It is a fact that I am one of those people who acquaintances have strong reactions to. You know, either they love me or hate me.
I honestly have no idea why, so if you have any thoughts or ideas on this, please comment to let me know.
My boss is one of those people who loves me. Loves.
(not based on my work ethic, I'm sure)
I guess that is good news.
I have been deleting posts lately, the ones I think are the most pointless.
But then here I go & write another one!