I Wait
"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead." Louisa May Alcott
Stuck in endless winter with sick dog, sad kid, dying car.
I Watch
My mother rolls tighter and tighter into a small, smaller ball
of fright, tight with fright squeezed into a ball. Small.
Sixty-two, not sick but a chronic smoker, choker,
obsessor of despair, disease. Gawker.
Pacing her rooms,
smoking, surfing the web, tv
and smoking, pacing, surfing,
not eating --dieting,
always starving,
scared of death and dying.
Hiding, cringing,
tighter,
smaller.
I Wait
Spring?
Unclenching
unfurling, stretching,
reaching, releasing, breathing.
Not yet.
Phone rings
e-mails sit
friends wait
plans cancelled
opportunities gone.
But I never starve.
I eat and eat, devour,
ready to explode.
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James M. Emmerling
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Comments
rated with hugs
♥R
Thank you for the sweet encouragement, Fusun
Thank you joan. the depressed were on our on minds this noon...
amen, sheila!
thank you, sally. mum lives far away, I just try to live differently
And you know what else I know about springtime with mother? I know that that Louisa May Alcott quote sat framed above my mother's desk in her ber room for over 20 years. I know that that framed quote is the only thing I took from her house after she was gone. I know that through a lot of hardship, it was the quote my mother clung to in life, to help her hands unclench and clasp together in hope and gratitude.
Now lady you know I don't believe in coincidence. So hold on. Spring is coming.
wow, antionette....wow.
I come and go and when gone suffer less anguish.
I think I sense your Empathy. Mother is choking.
Read Tom Cordell's Blog ref Smoking. It's suicide?
I thought of Pearl Buck's book the `Good Earth.
Every morning a agrarian smoker was "hacking"`
coughing, spitting, and the first pages are gross?
The Elder Father spends considerable cough-off`
`
Time.
I guess it's gagging,
snorting, and spitting.
It was on a Wedding Day.
You can share that book?
Your Mother may die too.
She be placed in a coffin.
I hope She quits soon.
She smell like Camel?
She quit it be Kool.
Hide Mom's cigars.
Breathe fresh air.
She feel Lucky's.
I use to sneak a Lucky's smoke whenever I visited an Elderly Farmer. in the boondocks.
Whatever the "vice" is that people have (ViceRoy cigarettes) they are willing to share 'it' and the local sawmill operator always offered me a shot of mash-whiskey.
I refused the strong drinks.
Drinkers have red noses.
`
on/on. I's your blog.
delete? I get deleted.
I had to sign-in again.
Life is brief. Be healthy.
Do unto other as you'd like.
Whoever is nasty suffers much.
Cause hurt? Effect will be we hurt.
We really slowly ruin 'our' total-Self.
`
apology? One more Real Life Story
Reds would cough and gag and cough
He entertain and say to Self Die Ya SOB
He cuss his Self, turn Red, and pass Gas.
`
Reds got talked into taking a fancy boat cruise.
Reds sure didn't want to go. He Loved his home.
It was sad to here that he coughed on and on/on.
Before the Elderly couple arrived at Hawaii-guess?
Reds coughed so long and hard that Reds croaked!
He croaked on a boat. Who gets on my blog? Creep?
What kind of a statement does Snoopy try to make?
Snoopy needs to spend more time with a pet Turtle.
He can pet the Turtle's back and trim a Camel's Tail.
Snoopy can ride a Humped Back Whale to Sheol Hell?
`
I liked the read.
We get misread.
I have good intent.
I could feel the tension in the words, and the hope that hides in those buds each spring. Here's to bursting forth!