I am not good enough of a writer to accurately express how crappy this Christmas season has become.

The smells of almond extract, vanilla and other cookie deliciousness are not here.  Most of our favorite holiday movies are unwatched. 

The frazier fir in the living room is mocking us.

There is no Joy, Comfort or even the Hope of these feelings appearing anytime soon.

Instead there is the Rage of an attachment disordered adolscent, the Grief of her big but shattered heart and, when we are lucky, the Numbness that happens as we each escape to seperate corners of the house.

There is nothing that can fix our situation.

Christmas time can be filled with yummy sweets, colored lights, secret packages and a plethora of entertainment options, but it will still always be the time when our deepest aches come to the surface. 

Oh nevermind, I'm sure we are the only ones in the world not having a merry damn time.