- northern city, United States
- July 24
- Temperamental Story Teller
- posts will tell
MY RECENT POSTS
- I'm still here
August 02, 2014 03:30PM
- How Do Dog-less People Stand
December 10, 2013 12:55PM
- I Can Kick Ass
November 20, 2013 09:12PM
- and so it goes
September 26, 2013 08:45PM
- today was the day
September 15, 2013 10:59PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “What a sweet face.
wonder if your area has a
service similar to what I
September 20, 2014 10:29PM
- “I think the momentum you
have achieved to "unstuck"
August 03, 2014 12:51PM
- “I don't know.”
August 02, 2014 04:07PM
- “Alyssa, I would love to
meet you some day. You are
authentic and so
August 02, 2014 02:42PM
- “I'm so sorry for your
loss Alysa and I have no words
wisdom to offer you
June 01, 2014 07:10PM
Caroline marie's Links
- Seasonal Dreams and Middle-Aged Streams of Thought
- Adopting an Older Child
- Fairy tales, poems and more
bear witness to the absurdity of my walking down my street with a barely clothed teenager's arms wrapped around my waist. She is walking while bending, her top of her head somewhere below my bosom. It is hard for me to walk this way.
Meanwhile, I am holding onto the dog's… Read full post »
Well, I did it again -- another cross-country road trip, this time with an even more elderly dog (15 1/2 !) and a girl who just crossed the threshhold from tween to teen (14!) This was our third and final extended road trip, I swear to God and if you ever… Read full post »
Some seemingly eccentric folks approach their whole life as if it were an art project- a canvas for pushing boundaries, evoking and experiencing strong feelings and connecting with a wide array of humans. They avoid falling into ruts, or at least they realize when that happens and then they shift gea… Read full post »
Good God, the street lights are on at 1:30 pm on yet another dark June afternoon.
I've been laying on the couch for days, only showering at night before going to meet friends for wine and conversation. It could be worse - I could have no friends.
I dropped Penny off… Read full post »
I am not the most warm, open, loving person. I wish I were, but I am not sure how to make the transformation.
I am also not at my best right now, what with the PTSD affecting me the way that it is. It is my own fault for letting Penny… Read full post »
Ugghhh. It's pitch black outside at 11:30 am -- and that's messing with my perpective on this carefree June afternoon. It doesn't feel gloomy, just sleepy and surreal.
I don't have anywhere to be until 2 pm. And I'm alone. That's good.
I dreamt last night that I had to move into… Read full post »
Right at this moment I am grateful for:
1) The spring sun sparkling on the green leaves outside my window.
2) Working from home today! I don't FEEL like going into the office, so I don't have to.
3) The fresh blueberries, vanilla yogurt and plain cake donut that is waiting… Read full post »
I am about to make a broad generalization that has proven true for me thus far: alternative health care (eastern, integrative, holistic, etc) works better than western medicine.
I have convinced my daughter to more regularly take the GABA supplement our integrative clinic recommended and I alre… Read full post »
My daughter woke up as a two-year-old today.
She cried, screamed and wailed like only a toddler can. Her shrieks sounded like "waaaah, waaaaah." At one point, she kept repeating "I'm hungry, I'm hungry" while her breakfast was right in front of her. I believe she repeated it for a solid… Read full post »
I have written the beginnings of about a dozen posts in the past several months, but can't seem to finish any. My outer life is going fairly smoothly at the moment (knock on wood) and my inner life has been focused on love, shame, god, and other such things I can't… Read full post »
The astoundingly mild weather we are having is causing me to leave the house regularly and have fun-- something that is unprecedented for me in February. Instead of winter blahs I feel pretty good.
Since the last post, things quickly improved at my house--big time. Penny wrote me a note (about 50% of our communication is through notes) that said "Let's have a Magnificent Return of the Christmas Spirit Day (MRCSD)!"
That night, we baked a batch of cookies (peanut butter w/ Dove dark… Read full post »
Here we are again, facing the darkest night of the year. If we can just get through it, without the demons driving us mad, then tomorrow we can begin to journey towards light, redemption and transformation.
Right now my girl is in bed, immobile, consumed with grief. She doesn't know… Read full post »
I am not good enough of a writer to accurately express how crappy this Christmas season has become.
The smells of almond extract, vanilla and other cookie deliciousness are not here. Most of our favorite holiday movies are unwatched.
The frazier fir in the living room is mocking us.
There… Read full post »
Autumn is lasting longer than it usually does in these parts. The blindingly yellow trees on the boulevard keep waking me from my trance and that is a good thing. While taking a walk, I picked up an overturned leaf then gasped when I saw its brilliant orange hue against its… Read full post »
Fall seems like a good time to confront our demons.
If all of my comforts were stripped away: dark chocolate bars with lime & chilis, inane sitcom reruns, corn chips and salsa, the five pillows on my bed, giant trees outside all of my windows, advil for my aches &… Read full post »
The only place I can breathe is in the ocean where the waves do all the work: in and out, in and out.
I took deep breaths on my vacation at the ocean. I relaxed.
My daughter never, ever relaxes and while I was inhaling the salty air I tried… Read full post »
I'm getting ready to hit the open road. Packing up the kid, the dog and heading for the ocean--hopefully today but no rush, because I like to do things slow and easy. In fact, sometimes I move so slowly it appears that I have not moved at all. I have been… Read full post »
I haven't been spending much time on OS because I have discovered the trauma mommas online community - moms who adopted kids like mine. I've been lurking there a lot, learning some new ways to cope. Some moms are great at it - using humor to stay positive, other moms seem… Read full post »
Bluestocking Babe gave me a great idea for a post to have on top of my page while I take a several-week hiatus. Looking at my blog stats was a fun way for me to procrastinate from my school work -- so here you go-
Caroline Marie's Blog in Review
Last Year's… Read full post »
Staying sane in stressful
1) Noticing daily what can make you pause, breathe deep and smile.
I have my beloved creek and this view from my front window:
What regularly makes you pause and smile?
2) Calming, mind-numbing creative outlets in times of turmoil.
My regular readers must think that either I or my daughter have Multiple Personality Disorder. Sometimes I post about her as if she had a trail of cartoon bluebirds following her, and other times I hint at the hellishness of living with such an emotionally unstable kid.
Both are true. &nb… Read full post »
Well, I calmed down anyway.
Janie's post has inspired me to share with you the prayer that Penny and I say together every night when she goes to bed.
In the 9 months it took between my letting the authorities know I wanted to adopt Penny and her… Read full post »