This is by no means an exhaustive or authoritative post about how OS should (or does) operate.  OS is a lot of different things to many different people.  It is a community of characters and creatures great and small.  The way I see it, there are few rules in place here and most of us have managed quite well to make up our own as we go along.  For the most part, we have done so peacefully, sometimes with plenty of humor and often some spirited debate.  Most of the time.

As adults (need we be reminded of this fact?), we have been entrusted by Joan and Kerry to police ourselves and again, for the most part, we have done and continue to do a pretty good job.  Recently however, we appear to have found ourselves witnessing (or igniting or participating in) a lot of mean spirited, angry posts that have created more chaos and ill will than anything I have witnessed here in my short time.  This is unfortunate at best.  At worst, it is a deterioration of what this site’s intent is all about – the sharing of our art as writers, poets, musicians, photographers, artists, thinkers and observers of life.  Please correct me if you came to OS because you were or are under the misconception that this place is a mud slinging bar room brawl dressed up in often well-manicured paragraphs.

As I was thinking about things this morning, a fellow member reminded me privately that OS is up for an award.  Imagine clicking on this site within the past 48 hours to learn what makes this site worthy of the nomination and discovering some of the ugliness we have had to put up with instead of most of the intrinsic beauty that we are lucky enough to enjoy around the clock.

I joined OS on November 20, 2008.  If I had encountered the scalding personal attacks in some of the first few posts I read that I have seen over the weekend, I would have run away quickly and never returned.  I was fortunate.  I hope that those who are new to this community or long for the days when we practiced civility and looked at our own behavior will take a few moments to read what I would like to christen as the "Basic OS User Manual".  

                                     OS USER MANUAL

For starters, introduce yourself.

Take time to get to know other members of the community. Make them your friends by favoriting them.  Unlike real life where it is more polite to be invited before visiting, on OS you need to show up at other people’s posts with flowers, candy, some kind words or a good joke or two when you show up. If you don’t have anything nice to say, try another house.  Don’t let the door hit you if you decide to take the meany route.

Invite people to join you at your house (blog).  Don’t force or shame them into coming over.   If they decide to come and visit and leave comments, extend the courtesy in return by at least acknowledging them and then try to make it back over to their neighborhood.  It’s really a question of give and take.

Don’t beg for anyone to come to, engage in water balloon fights at or bully them into giving you ratings in your house.  Publicly or privately.  Not cool.  When was the last time you got someone to come to your real house this way?  Enough said.

Remember that this is a virtual community.  Everyone also has (and is entitled to) his or her own real life.  Making friendships takes time. We only know aspects of one another. Don’t jump to conclusions.  Reserve judgment.  Assume nothing. 

Don’t burden people unnecessarily with your troubles or problems or garbage.  Make sure you take out your own.  Don’t dump it in someone else’s yard.  Don’t pile it on a stinking heap that already exists. 

Don’t clog up the feed by over posting.  Responding to each comment you receive one by one (especially if they come quickly) is the equivalent of interrupting an episode of your favorite TV show with a commercial every ten seconds.  Any questions?

Do not start fires for the sake of starting fires and think someone won’t call you out on having more than a book of matches and gasoline.  If you have dreams of being a pyromaniac, be prepared to burn and suffer the consequences when you get caught.  Think about your intent.

Play fair.

Be nice.

Treat people on OS (and in the world), as you would like to be treated.  It really is that simple and it does work.

Don't threaten to "FLOUNCE" every other week (or day) and then return and expect adulation.  If you are going to leave, do it.  Stop crying "wolf".

Be generous toward others.  The more attention you crave the less you will probably get.  When you finally come to this understanding, you will get more attention than you dreamed of.  

Use spell check. 

But for a handful of writers here on OS, short posts garner (and keep) more readers.  If you are exceeding 1000 words per post, you better be as funny as the squirrel or as smart as Saturn Smith.  I personally would rather read 50 shorter posts per day than attempt to get through four or five long ones that could use a sharp red pen and some good editing.  Just my opinion. 

If you wonder why your readership numbers are low, read the above paragraph again and then take another look at some of your work.  If you feel comfortable enough with getting an honest answer, seek out a writer whose work you respect and ask them for their opinion.   If they are uncomfortable about commenting, don't take it personally.

Heal yourself.  Don't expect others to do it for you.

If you have personal problems or problems with certain posters, try to settle those disputes privately instead of poisoning the system.  You only contribute to the problem if you take things public.  There are no right or wrong sides.  Nobody wins when things get nasty.  There is a big difference between arguing intellectually and attacking personally or emotionally. Disagreement is normal and constructive argument and dialogue that stays on point is healthy.  You know the difference.  In fact, nothing I have written here is new to you at all.

Please don’t make me repeat myself.  

If you love OS as much as I do, please feel free to add any other constructive suggestions for new members or those of us that might occasionally forget.