Cary Tennis After Hours

Musings, outtakes and daydreams

Cary Tennis

Cary Tennis
San Francisco, California, USA
September 11
Since You Asked advice columnist
Cary Tennis writes the Since You Asked advice column for He also leads writing workshops and runs a small publishing company. He lives in the Outer Sunset/Ocean Beach neighborhood of San Francisco with his wife Norma, who is a painter and book designer, and their two standard poodles, Lola and Ricky.


MAY 3, 2010 6:42PM

When the heck am I coming back to work?

Rate: 12 Flag

Well, you know, I'm feeling pretty strong these days and as soon as I can get my doctor to give me a note, I think I'll start writing the advice column again. Maybe part-time at first: two or three days a week to start. We'll see how it goes.

So if you have any questions, send them to 

I don't know exactly how this is going to go. I feel like my brain has been on a long, strange vacation. But frankly, I expect it'll be hilarious and great. I've been changed by this experience of cancer surgery and recovery, in unexpected ways. Most unexpected perhaps: I can't stop buying clothes. Now, I needed clothes. I was clothes-deprived before surgery. Definitely, it was a self-imposed thing stemming from, I dunno, childhood macho indoctrination that men just don't care about clothes. Also I guess my wife-induced Project Runway-watching contributed.  (I'm glad Seth Aaron won, by the way.) But still it's been interesting to note that not only am I suddenly interested in clothes, but they must be bargains.

Other changes? Um, I think I'm hella more relaxed! Like, what could go wrong, right? And who gives a fuck even if it does go wrong, right? Like what's the big deal? How many things are really a big deal? Permanent exit is a big deal, at least for those left behind. Extreme disability, scarring, inability to move and talk, those are big deals. But the little disabilities I'm left with? As compared to life/no life? Not a big deal, IMHO.

So, anyway, look for the new and perhaps improved or perhaps impaired Cary Tennis and Since You Asked as soon as I can get it together and the doc say OK.


Write to me. OK, gotta go tweet this now.--ct

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OK! In the big wheel we all riiiiide...

Let the style show begin. E-see you in

xoxo Cavett
Root canal is piece of cake now. Transmission dropping out from bottom of car, yawn. IRS sending threatening audit letter, no problem: IRS, I'm being treated for cancer, can this wait?

And you're looking goooooood in your fancy new duds, aren't you?
You know, I like how you put life into perspective. I came to the same conclusion a few months ago when my husband did the big "exit". Life is worth finding things to enjoy about it every day. Glad you have found some things!
Yahoo! That's all I have to say.
Good for you. To be perfectly honest I have no idea what you do over there on Salon. I only first met you over here on Open. Perhaps I'll take a peek and see what kind of advice you give.
Nothing like a little possible premature death scare to put things into the proper perspective. I love that you are keen to buy new clothes. May I suggest thrift shops? Often the clothes have new tags in them (never been worn) or ever so slightly used, and you can get very high quality duds for a pittance. Nothing like the rush I get when I pick up a pair of never worn Cole Haans for $12! In your area there are probably so many good ones I bet it's thrift shop heaven.
Glad you're feeling better! We'll look forward to tour return.
Oh, yeah--how 'bout that fashion show--get the wife involved for us. I credit cavetty with this, by the way........
Good to hear you are better!
I'm new to Open Salon so I only know you from Big Salon.
Glad you're feeling better, and glad Seth Aaron won.
Oh joy! So glad you're better! You're the reason I'm still hanging around Salon.

Don't rush it, though. You've been to Hell and back. Take care of yourself.
Fantastic news! Goodwill in SF is pretty fancy, in particular the one on West Portal, which is a Goodwill "boutique." Happy shopping...
Cary, it''s great news that you're feeling well enough to be witty and so optimistic! I was just diagnosed with cancer on Tuesday, 5/11, and I'm not even sure what my treatment will be, and I'm already dreading the 'ride.' I think, or hope that I'll use that time to make a good dent in my memoirs. I've got scraps of papers, napkins, post-its and notebooks all over my apartment, and files floating like little prostate cells all over the computer. My document files contain more document files and I feel my head spin when I try to decide which one to open on a given day. I hope I can muster the kind of courage you've shown. All I know is that there will be ups and downs, but right now I'm numb and don't know what the hell to expect. And how do I tell these rotten frat boys in the next apartment not to slam their friggin doors at 4 in the morning. It breaks my train of thought...'train of thought...' Mnn...
Very happy to read this Cary! Glad you sound so wonderful, how funny, you survive cancer to become a clothes horse! Isn't life crazy?
come back - we all need advice