I work part time in a sports bar. It is a job that has meshed well with school and other work. The hours are flexible and the staff look after one another. It is hard work. Working in a bar is far more demanding than most people realize. There is endless walking, a continual balancing act with a tray of drinks, constant cleaning, tabs to update and the challenge of trying to be always pleasant. The 'being pleasant' part is sometimes difficult but, for the most part, it can be a fun job and the financial compensation is excellent. It is also work that, once the shift is finished, it is done. There is no need to think about it until the next scheduled hours. In that way, many people find it ideal. I do.
Over the years, one learns certain techniques to save on the walking. For example, usually the regular customers will order the same drinks. Therefore, it saves some walking to that table if the drink orders are stored somewhere in memory. It also means that the customers have their drinks faster and it personalizes the service somewhat. The regular customers appreciate it.
I have a regular Friday early-evening customer. [Let's call him "Walt".] - Walt comes in between 4:45 and 5:00 PM and he always is wearing a suit and tie. He is usually alone and sits at a small table for two. His order is a real Coke, with a slice of lime and "lots of ice". That is followed by a Perrier, with no ice. Walt watches whatever is being shown on the many televisions and stays for about an hour. He is there a bit longer, if there are playoff or championship games being televised. Then he is on his way.
This has been the routine for years. I try to save one of the tables for him, at least until 5 o'clock. When I see him come in, I put in the order for a real Coke, with a slice of lime and "lots of ice". Walt does not have to order. I say "hello" to him while I am putting his drink on the coaster. I will have his Perrier for him on my next circuit of the floor. I try to be efficient. It saves me steps.
Last year, on an August Friday, I was setting down Walt's drink when he asked me to bring him a double of Pyrat XO Reserve. For those not familiar with the brand, Pyrat is a premium dark rum. It is very good and, in a bar setting, it is quite expensive. I was shocked. In all the years, I had never served Walt any alcohol nor had he ever asked for an alcoholic beverage.
One of my personal quirks is that I am not quick with a verbal response. I tend to ruminate on a response. Sometimes, a so-called clever answer comes to me hours or days after it was necessary. I am not that way when action is required. However, a quick, snappy verbal reply is often not my usual 'modus operandi' and so it was the case here.
My quick and clever response to Walt's drink order was... "What?!".
Walt looked down at the drink coaster on the table, with his hand around his glass of Coke. He repeated the drink order - "a double of Pyrat XO Reserve".
I heard Walt distinctly. I knew exactly what he wanted. I knew that there was stock. Furthermore, I knew the register till code for the order and what the price of the order should show. I don't know what made me say it but the words just tumbled out of my mouth. I said, "Walt, look me in the eye and tell me you want me to bring you that Pyrat." I don't know what possessed me to challenge a sober customer like that. I certainly had not done so before nor have I done so since.
Walt looked up from staring at the coaster. He did look me in the eye. And there was silence. He said nothing. There were just moments of uncomfortable silence. I was the one to break the silence. I remember exactly what I said to him. I said, "No, Walt. I am your friend and I am not serving you that."
That was all I could say. Walt said nothing. He put some money on the table and walked out. I just stood there and watched him go. Walt always says "Bye" or catches my eye and waves when he leaves. This time, he just left. His glass of Coke had been untouched and I had ordered his Perrier already, for my next circuit of the floor. And Walt had left the building.
The following Friday, I was at work early for the shift. I saved the table for Walt. I wanted to talk to him. By 5:00 o'clock, I took that "reserved" sign off the table. I knew he wouldn't be coming in that day. He didn't show up the following week either. I was worried.
When I went to work the next Friday, Walt was sitting at his favorite table. He had a drink on the table and I went over to talk to him. I didn't bother to put away my coat or my over-stuffed backpack. Walt said "hi" and invited me to sit for a few minutes. He was glad to see me. I sat down and took a sip of his drink. It was Coke - and just Coke. I told him that I would go and bring back a fresh drink for him. He smiled and told me that that wasn't necessary. He just wanted me to sit.
Walt said to me, "I guess you know I'm a drunk". I told him that I didn't know that. I thanked him for telling me. He handed me something that had been placed carefully in the middle of a piece of folding money. The bill was folded several times to wrap a coin. It was a large denomination bill. When I unfolded the bill, there was a small coin with the number 20 on it. Walt called it a chip.
The chip or coin is something that the members of Alcoholics Anonymous receive for milestones. The coin, with the number 20 on it, marked the number of years that Walt had resisted alcohol. He had not had any alcohol for more than twenty years.
I told him that I couldn't keep the money or the chip. I thought the chip was important for him to have. Nevertheless, he insisted that I keep both - the bill and the coin. It was his way of saying 'thanks'. Walt had returned to going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings daily. Since that Friday when he asked for a drink, he had been attending meetings every day. His goal was ninety meetings in ninety days. Walt wanted to stop in to say 'hello', give me his twenty year chip and thank me for saving him from that one terrible first drink.
Walt wanted me to have the coin and I did keep it. It is one of my most cherished possessions.
I have no idea why I did not serve Walt the drink that day. Perhaps it was sheer good fortune. Perhaps it was Providence. It was certainly not anything that I consciously did. It was simply a reactionary response.
I keep the coin with me all the time. Some day I will find a jeweller to turn it into a necklace. On one side of the coin, it says "To Thine Own Self Be True". And on the other side, it says "Expect Miracles". Walt has a new coin now. It is much like the one he gave me. The only difference is that it reads "21 Years".
Catherine Forsythe
*** Walt is among my real life friends who reads these articles that I post. I suggested the other day that he have a look at a wonderful article that grif posted. He did and he encouraged me to write about how I saved him. I tell Walt that it wasn't me and it was simply good fortune. I did say though that I would write about that Friday. I asked what name I should use to protect his privacy. He suggested the name "Walt". It was his father's name. His father was an alcoholic.
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Best Wishes,
Blittie
That was beautifully written - sheer magic!
^R^++
But see, you realized that the problem is not just one of alcohol but of our lack of love, respect and caring for one another and you were able to give this man more than his sobriety, you gave him love...
As you have learned I'm thinking, you probably helped yourself more than you helped him...that love will live on in your heart and your memory forever...and who knows how many countless lives your one act of bravery and love will save as a result of how many people this man will still be able to help and the more people you will be able to help as a result of the spirtual strength you gained for yourself...
We came here to give as well as to get...Like the song goes, "What if God was one of us...trying to make His way home"
Thanks for making my day! Love, Dawn
great post!!
Rated with hugs
If it's any help to you and Walt, I've gone down a path similar to his, although I've been at it pretty much solo. I wish you both continued success, one day at a time.
Rated supremely highly.
I like what Phoenix said about making a "ministry" out of what you do. I think that many of us, at one time or another, have sucy ah opportunity, and I hope that we all take advantage of those opportunities when they come along.
I just logged on when I got into the office this afternoon and saw this post title in the left hand feed. Being an alcoholic I immediately clicked on it. This actually moved me to tears. For a minute I wasn't sure if Walt was drunk or sober and of course I'm glad to hear that he is now 21. I have my own interpretation of this divine moment that occurred between the two of you; however, it doesn't really matter what I think because it happened as it did.
This was a beautiful and powerful life-moment and the cool thing is how you were involved and just "knew" what to say - unnatural as it was at the time.
And then I saw that you had graciously mentioned my post from the other day in your story and I just smiled. Thank you. It means a lot.
I'm not in AA because I'm not a drunk. As a matter of fact, I don't qualify for any 12 Step group. I wish I did, because - for all it's faults - the 12 Step process is unique, powerful, and effective at helping people to confront their demons.
Have no doubt that the spirit of guidance flowed through you that day, and that you were given the privilege of being a conduit for that energy.
I am going to circulate this among some friends of mine who are also friends of Bill's. They will appreciate it even more than I do.
This should be an EP.
Alan
For some reason this reminded me I have one twenty dollar Playboy Club chip that I have had tucked away for over 40 years! And I still have my original Shirley Temple doll, given to me for my 8th birthday. Time to give it to my grand daughter.
walt - i am proud of you for listening to her when your own resolve failed - and i am proud of you for the 21 years.
However, Walt is living proof of that old AA adage: "If you hang out a barber shop long enough, you will get a haircut." In my 22 years of sobriety I have seen a lot of Walts.
I don't tempt providence by hanging out at bars, but niether do I avoid them if I have good reason to be in them.
and that is a wonderful thing
he(she) who saves a life saves humanity itself
R