Do you remember Blair from Facts of Life she was the spoiled blonde one who was worshipped by boys? Well, she got a divorce this week. I could make the lame attempt to say if she can’t make it work who can. She has an interesting twist; she is a hardcore Christian. Her kind is one that homeschools their kids to shelter them from the evils of evolution. Born again Christians are really passionate people, but their beliefs are not mine. As we get older, we find that there are other reasons to get married besides love. In the past two and a half years, three of my friends gave gotten hitched. I am happy for each of them while breathing a sigh of relief it was not me. It was their decision to get married and I feel they made it on their own. Only one asked me my opinion on whether or not they were doing the right thing and I responded in the best way I knew how: I didn’t know because relationships are private affairs that only two people understand. Here comes in Ms. Warner.
She wrote in her blog in 2001 the story of her marriage. She reiterates how she saw her future husband as only a friend initially. They were in the same prayer group and she was teasing him by hanging out as friends while her Christian singer boyfriend was on tour. I have teased men in my day unknowingly in the same way, but take heed that you recognize to some men hanging out is the same as dating. So she was at church one day and the Holy Spirit suggested to her to marry this man bc at 22 she was getting desperate for marriage and kids ( I am withholding comment). She hid away at a friend’s house in Tennessee and read books about following God’s will. If she followed what she wanted then she would have continued dating. Instead, she wrote all the things she loved about him on the plane ride back home. Paraphrase: Somewhere 35,000 feet in the air I fell in love with him. She kissed him for the first time when she landed.
To use an 80’s expression, I wanted someone to gag me with a spoon. How could she really marry someone as a result of her interpretation of God’s will? If you read some of her ten published books, you see hints of unhappiness. Here she dedicated her life to Jesus and she felt she had to listen to him. But what if she had said no? What if we all said no? I do not want that and a command becomes a suggestion? Could we live all of our lives being 100% responsible for ourselves?
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old new lefty
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Comments
The average age of marriage for women now is 34 years old. If they decide to have children after they are married, they will be labeled as "geriatric mothers" on their hospital chart.
I'm not saying your wrong. I'm just sayin' Mrs. Garrett was the shit.
that seems to be the goal,the ideal.
i do it, knowing that my 'responsibility', even 'responsiveness',
changes day to day, but not in the big ways.
i love God and his Will and even his goddamn Word too.
it packs a punch.
The holy spirit kinda IS a bit of a pimp daddy,
i hope.
Jesus was a virgin they say, i dunno why they say that.
Sure had alot of chicks, and his momma, following him when
he wandered around to parties and events
and crashing at his cousins' houses...
i am thinking that a cool cutie genius prophet type
was tempted.
i cant say for sure. no one can. damn fool never wrote anything.
Evolution is something everybody, even delicate blonde orchids,
gotta get in touch with, understand.
explains their monkey bizness!
Bernandine-v tubular
James- I never noticed before Jesus never wrote anything himself. Adds quite the twist.
he never wrote nothing.
he was executed too, about 400 yrs before mr. jesus.
different reasons.
socrates ''corrupted the youth'', jesus ...ha...
blew their religion up in their faces. they hated that.
an arranged marriage doesnt appeal to me, now.
maybe when i am 50. i will send away for a good girl,
on the internet.
love must be a nice way to start a marriage.
they say it fades , it is just chemical.
my experience tells me otherwise.
Jesus did get a lot of trim, though. Of that I am sure. What hippie who rolled with a posse that deep and constantly had loose women clinging on to his crew didn't?
Marriage for any reason other than romantic love is lying and then living the lie. And God forbid you add children to a loveless marriage. Before we say that arranged marriages work, we should ask the wife why is she in the marriage. R
Unless it's an open relationship...or the participants are too lazy to get laid outside the marriage.
'Recent' is not an argument against marriage for love. Therefore, 'recent' does not make marriage for love an illusion. Thinking that the wife a man bought with his money/power will not cheat on him IS the BIG ILLUSION. Thinking that all the children in his house are actually HIS is a bigger illusion. This is as true now as it was a million years ago. Just remember that peacocks are beautiful because peahens through eons of evolution MADE them pretty.
;-)
.
I have been married 5 times and lived 'common-law' another 8 times. I'll put my knowledge of marriage up against that of any psychologist any day.
There are two kinds of love; Eros and agape. Erotic love, being hormonal, has a short life span. Agape takes time to develop for it is built of mutual respect, tolerance and common aims and attitudes.,
A successful marriage requires that both partners have similar goals and understandings of how to reach those goals. In our modern world lovers may hail from a huge plethora of backgrounds. Each individual is following a different path in life. It is very easy to fall in love in an otherwise loveless world. But as each person continues on with his/her life, their paths diverge for in this fast-paced world each must be constantly changing and adapting to the new circumstances they encounter daily. We no longer live in times where a person's life is pretty stable from birth.
Those changes that one makes while following one's own path can easily lead one in a very different direction than the one one's spouse is going. This will inevitably bring unreconcilable differences to the union. End of marriage.
We'd be a lot better off to engage in serial marriages of short duration and firm contractual obligations on both parties. This would "fit" better in the real world although it puts paid to the much beloved concept of "Living happily ever after" that we love so much; but then reality has a way of doing that, y'know?
;-)
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No, recent isn't an argument against so-called love based marriage. Evolution is. Apes kill each other to become the alpha so that they can fuck all the females in the unit in which they have become big, swinging dick.
When a woman has a child, there is a rush of hormones that invade her body such that she is forced to form a bond with that child, and women also burn fat less efficiently (or, more efficiently for their natural roles as caregivers) so that they have more stocked up, because they necessarily must stay with their offspring and care for them (in the wild).
Men, not so much.
I'm not saying that men can't overcome nature with their intellect, nor that women can't either. I'm just sayin it's a thing which must be overcome, and more often than not. it's a barrier to the fantasy of the long-term, love based, monogamous relationship.