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Miami, Florida, United States
December 31
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NOVEMBER 3, 2012 9:34PM

Who Wants to Pay $1500 to Reach Heaven?

Rate: 5 Flag

I am a complete sucker for anything spiritual. Give me a free psychic reading and I am there ready to drink hot chocolate for a cup reading, select crystals, pick cards, choose flowers, offer my palm etc. Show me how to do breath meditations and I will be doing it morning, noon, and night. It is not very often that I draw the line, but when I do it is firm. I went to a transcendental workshop with an open mind.

It was a horror. I spent 45 minutes watching youtube videos with a woman who wore BLACK pantyhose with brown peep toe shoes. I know the spiritually evolved have moved past fashion, but I never will. She talked about her journey with TM and how it never tries to clear your mind. I was intrigued. I have sat in meditation many times bothered by pesky thoughts. On bad days it runs like this: hurry up inner peace, I have to clean/run errand/find an outfit/walk the dog and wow am I hungry. Then I replay videos in my head of stupid things like the lame reality show that I watch. It can be quite the hassle achieving inner peace. So this seemed like a shortcut.

  The only problem with shortcuts is that they don't exist. I have never once found a short distance to inner peace. As much as we hate it, this is a build up over time like Math or reading a book. One foot in front of the other. Yes, it is tedious and sometimes not particularly rewarding, so my little human mind was waiting for the big reveal. By the time I watched the Dr. Oz video with the group I was checking my phone and texting my best friend to see how she was doing. I could not have been more bored in what seemed like one endless infomercial to spirituality.

   Mercifully forty minutes in there was light! Now she began we are going to get to the instructions on how to actually do TM. My pencil was ready and my dog ears were perked. She spoke in a lower voice the kind I have seen with hack psychics when I wear a fake diamond ring to throw them off. All we needed was to spend $1500 for a lifelong course on TM. She gave us all crazy eyes and called it an investment. No, I thought, this crazy pantyhosed lady was not going to get away with this. I raised my hand and asked for more information, she said of course and handed me a free dvd of collected videos posted on YouTube.

  If I could have, I would have popped her in the biscuits. In THIS ECONOMY? That money is rent for a few months, a car down payment and a trip to Thailand with shots included. Then I started boiling. No big deal someone said I was diappointed, but what can I do they said shrugging their shoulders. Yes, I was aware that a workshop on spirituality had me in a blind rage in not quite fun irony. This is exactly the type of bs that turns people off to spirituality. Rich aging hippies did not possess the riches of the universe because they paid the right amount, that is akin to the Catholic Church selling indulgences and masses for those in purgatory.

I walked out of there determined to tell people this is nonsense. All you need to reach enlightenment is to seek it. Real Buddhist in temples usually offer free classes. To them paying for spirituality is counterintuitive. I don't profess to know the answer, but I will say this: there are frauds at every level and the cheapest way to get inner peace is to light a candle, stare at it for a while and let your thoughts go crazy because anything that makes the Catholic Church look cheap is laughable.

When was the last time someone tried to sucker you?

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Human beings have been searching for shortcuts to knowledge since Eve took a bite of the apple. I cannot understand why ALL this bullshit of religion, TM, Buddhist clap-trap, and spirituality still attracts anyone. Have you no sense at all?

Let me explain it in simple words. There IS NO SUCH THING AS ENLIGHTENMENT!!

Got it? It doesn't exist. It is a chimera, a dream, not possible.

What there IS however, is the slow, hard, time-consuming, search for knowledge. It is looking at anything and asking questions about it. It is doing endless research in order to learn one tiny truth, while knowing that your research may not be perfect or give you eternally "true" answers.

It is knowing that you'll need to do that research over and over and over again to even hope to find a wee tiny bit of truth and not knowing if you have the ability to recognize that bit of truth when you come across it. Hey... I MEANT it when I said it's hard work!

But this is how mankind learns. A wee bit at a time. All we learn being always subject to question and further research. No perfect answers to "everything". No sudden "enlightenment". Just a lot of studying and trying and learning more of what "isn't" than of what "is" true.

The most futile life imaginable is the search for a quick, short way to knowledge. You end up with no knowledge, no enlightenment, only confused of mind and lighter of wallet.

But then those who still believe in a heaven, or enlightenment, or nirvana, will go on seeking a way to get there. Those who take your money for pointing the way to nowhere, deserve it more than you, who are stunned enough to give it to them, do.

Well, it is self-evident. The key to enlightenment is to become a spiritual guru and charge people $1,500. Where's my robe? R
I must humbly disagree with Sky. There IS such thing as Enlightenment.
Except...nobody gets there.
Get it?
I like the Zen approach. They seem like a wacky bunch,
those Zen masters.
The problem with today's pseudo-spirituality is that it is ego-driven,
ego-serving, ego-inflating.
We imagine that this "i" is gonna achieve enlightenment,
and then the fun will start...endless happiness for this enlightened 'i'.
This ego.
The only problem is that hard core, real Mysticism---which DOES exist, and HAS, for thousands of years...(in fact , it is remarkably similiar in all ages in which it appears...sure, cultural differences change the medium of the message, but the message remains the same)
real spirituality says that this "i" is the problem. It is an illusion.
A convenient fiction.
And anything done to strengthen it, like buying into this schlock new age shit, is gonna backfire and
leave you more frustrated than ever
which is good!
cuz all real mysticism says that the answer comes when you
get so fucking frustrated and disgusted with your self
for looking for it, that you give up. then, poof.
I broke up with a science fiction club when the guy running it invited someone from TM in. He was a guy who rented the meeting room next door from the public library where the club met. He tried to tie in TM to what he perceived science fiction to be like, in the most fumble-brained version possible.

I walked out of the meeting during a break and asked the head of the club, "What was that about?" He sheepishly apologized, "We didn't have anyone to talk about anything this month, and he was insistent, so..."

Okay. Imagine the scene from Tom Wolfe's Radical Chic. Instead of having the Black Panthers of the late '60's coming in to rant at Leonard Bernstein and his One Percenter buddies, the Panthers showed in to act tough and revolutionary in front of a bunch of middle-aged-and-older folks into Heinlein, Spider Robinson and Peter David books. Not only is this ludicrous, it's sad and pathetic.
Move Past Fashion? Who is so silly as to think that?
After all, Designer/Priest Mel gave us The Fashion of the Christ. How sadly stiff-necked we remain.

Sky- I like your thought process.
Trudge-May your robe be fashionable.
James-I agree, I feel more spiritual when I stopped trying so hard.
Neutron-This was at a teacher's conference. How inappropriate and ridiculously pushy are these people, almost like Amway sellers.
Wolfman-I am 100% fine with not moving past fashion, it is my earthly pleasure like bad reality tv. (This that redundant?)
I've always wanted to try transcendental meditation (you get to transcend shit!!! Who doesn't want to do that?!?!?!?).

I don't think I have the patience for it, though. As I have found out, however, and as you said, inner peace is where ya find it. Funny, though, don'tcha think, that the guy who sat under a tree for 60 days and reached a state of nirvana in doing so is the originator of this advice?

Nothing makes sense. I (heart) Huckabees.
XY_Buddha's first thought/words upon returning to the earthly plane was,"This cannot be taught." He was right and then went about preaching.