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JANUARY 2, 2010 9:52PM

Why I haven’t experienced (much) misogyny

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The reason I haven’t experienced much misogyny in my life is simply because I’ve been extremely lucky.  That’s the only reason I can think of, because I've seen it all around me.

I was raised by a single mother who DID experience misogyny.  She was not given the opportunity to go to college, though it was her dream to become a teacher.  Both of her brothers went to college, but she did not.  And I know that’s the main reason that she treated all of her children, boys and girls, the same.  We all did dishes.  We all were responsible for cleaning our own rooms.  The girls did do more of the indoor cleaning, but the boys had just as many chores outside, and I’m pretty sure if one of the girls really wanted to do outdoor cleaning instead, that would have been fine.  We all played kickball and climbed trees and played board games.  No one was left out of anything because of their gender. 

When I was in junior high school, Title IX was new.  In 7th grade, as a girl I was required to take Home Economics for one semester and Art for one semester.  Boys took Art and Industrial Arts (also known as Wood Shop).  But in 8th grade, because of Title IX, I got to choose any two of the three – Home Ec, Art, and Industrial Arts.  I took Home Ec and Industrial Arts, because I hated Art.  I was lucky that I got to choose.  (If I was really lucky, they would have changed the rules the year before I was there.  But then I probably wouldn’t remember this story.)

I have always done well in school.  Okay, I’ll come clean.  I’m a smartypants.  I’ve always done VERY well in school.  I’ve been lucky with supportive teachers and guidance counselors.  I can honestly not think of a single instance of any teacher saying I couldn’t (or shouldn’t) do anything because of being a girl.  Maybe my brains make me an exception.  I don’t know.  But if it did, I’ve been lucky in that respect, too.  Their support of my natural abilities have given me self-confidence.  I now have a career in a male-dominated profession, and I get assignments based on my skills and abilities, not based on my gender.  I don’t make the coffee, and I don’t call my boss “Sir”.

I’ve always been tall for my age, and slightly overweight.  I’m a big girl.  I don’t do the whole “fashion” thing, preferring simple, comfortable clothes.  I have often been called “sir” by cashiers and sales clerks who aren’t paying attention, who only take a quick glance and note my height and my size and my clothing.  If I’d been shorter, and more feminine in my manner and my dress, I might have been treated differently, in school and in life.  But this is me.  This is my personality.  I’ve been lucky.

I’m sure that everything eventually comes back to my upbringing, and my luck at having been born in a time where people were starting to appreciate that women were just as good as men.  Because my mother did experience misogyny, she taught me that I should not be treated differently because of my gender.  And because of that, and of other factors beyond my control, like my height and my personality and my intelligence, I’m not.  And for that I’m extremely lucky.

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Comments

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Well imagine that... you have integrity. Clear and honest.
davyboy, thanks!
denver, thank you too! My mom did so many things right.
This is a great post! Actually, I have experienced very little misogyny personally...in fact I've seen more of it on OS than anywhere in my life. I have seen it applauded here. xox
Thanks, Robin! I haven't noticed much of it here, but I don't doubt for a minute that it exists.
Being smart does not exempt you from being foolish -- your mother instilled a self-respect in you that has guided you toward positives and away from negatives. Please thank your mother for me.
I had some time and found the Christmas story first.... then tonight this. Our mom was a pretty smart lady! When you write about the things she did and we experienced I am always grateful for the childhood we had with her and you and all of our siblings.