One of the things I love about this community is how people get each other's backs. Thank you, ChangeAgent. I appreciate you calling attention to misogyny here at OS. And I appreciate the defense of me. I'm touched.

Thanks for standing up for Fingerlakeswanderer. Didn't even see that post and I'm kinda glad I didn't. That kind of thing is just not funny.

Yes, thanks change agent.

I am so sorry you had to endure a comment like that, fingerlakeswanderer.

Just this morning, I was told in a topic on the murder of Dr. Tiller that I should try crossing my legs, because it really works. Yup, because I dared to criticize a man, he basically told me that I was a slut, and implied that I had probably had an abortion.

I didn't see the original post, but thank you.

I missed it, but I am loving this! So perfectly right on!!! Some people can't stand the truth.... Glad fingerlakes pointed it out and even happier you are calling them out on their bull shit!

I deliberately did not link to the original post. It doesn't deserve the traffic.

I see hundreds of misogynistic comments online every day. You don't have to go far to find it.

The example Jeanette D gives is another classic. What the man trying to shame you for daring to have sex doesn't realize is that 43 percent of American women will have had an abortion by the time they hit menopause. Odds on you might very well have had an abortion and what is wrong with that? Your body, your choice.

Shame is the weapon, but once we realize what they are trying to do their power is lost. Just some scum bucket with a keyboard.

Excellent point! Rated for saying how it is.

The comment was on his blog. Fingerlakeswanderer cannot delete it.

Right, this guy kept deleting my comments but left his own, of course.

Why should women be silent? I refuse to blame the victim.

I have a pretty useful mental filter of usernames I simply don't click on.

Not coincidentally, I don't tend to run into a lot of rampant misogyny on OS.

There are assholes and abusive trolls everywhere. I've found it's much more satisfying to me to imagine they're all 12-year-olds and to add them to the "not worth a breath out of my life" list.

I don't know that that particular blogger has a history of misogyny, though, and the post itself wasn't misogynistic, just in very bad taste. So, fingerlakeswanderer read it, made a comment, and then got slapped in the face with this completely vicious reply, one that is often used to put women "in their place".

I don't know how anyone could say that she just shouldn't have done what she did.

Change the wording of the comment directed to fingerslakewanderer from misogyny to racism or homophobia. Instead of insinuating she disagreed because she is a smelly cunt, imagine she is a black man or a gay man and the comment insinuates she disagreed because she is a stupid nigger or a silly faggot.

Pointing out someone is being misogynistic, racist or homophobic does not encourage that behavior. Your logic is flawed.

I should simply mention that the blogger's name was unfamiliar to me, and the title of the post had a sarcastic title. I thought it was going to be similar to a lot of what we've seen on OS lately: sarcastic titles that are actually compassionate posts about important topics. Instead, it mocked those who had died on the Air France flight. I made a comment, and I got the comment I did. Originally, I posted something this morning, and then took it down, in order not to feed the trolls. But ChangeAgent is pointing out that as women, we're all subject to this. Disagree with someone, and instead of taking on our opinion, we get a comment about our genitals.
There is far too much ad hominem/ad feminem attacks going on here. I would like it to stop. I would like to see us engage in civil discourse. But I'm also torn because it's still not clear to me whether misogyny will go away if we ignore it, or if we shine a light on it.
I appreciate ChangeAgent coming to my defense. I just wish that we could respect each other as human beings first, before we start engaging the arguments. There's nothing wrong with debate. But name calling doesn't move us forward.
I appreciate how people have weighed in on this issue. I respect those who say ignore it; I respect those who want to fight to keep others from being called names. It sounds as if I'm sitting on the fence, but really, I just don't know what the answer is.

Women should be riled up. If more of us were riled up, we would be treated better.

"Women, for many guys, will never be more than their sexual parts."

Actually it could also be interpreted slightly differently-- that the commenter could not (or would not) counter the intellectual point and countered instead with a remark designed to wound. I agree the point may be subtle and easy to overlook. But in the one view, the woman is apparently nothing but her sexual parts. And in the other, the commenter recognizes she may have an intellectual point that he (presumably) cannot address.

Guy obviously has balls like a beagle and a brain to match.

thanks for pointing this post out - I did find the original post and flag it for abuse. I suggest that anyone else wanting to complain about it do the same.

Not to fan the flames, but didn't Penrose just do the same thing?

Send Lord Douche Bag my way. I'll fix his wagon ;)

Signed,
Lady Douche Bag

fingerlakeswanderer, I am also sorry that you had to endure that comment. I'm just sorry and I hope that he is ignored and goes away. I am tired of the bashing (received several comments about "being on the rag" after listing one of RenaissanceLady's post last week on Reddit).

Change Agent, thank you. Rated.

Not to douse the flame, but thought I would add that the blogger in question hurls the same invectives and changes body part euphemisms in a non-gender specific fashion. I have seen them directed to a male also. Being an "Open" site should also allow those who object to use the "flag" button and express themself that way. I do not have any idea what effectiveness it has however, but it need not be that they should just avoid reading it which is also a "right". VR's approach is probably the most used as it is simple and effective.

I apparently missed the blog and Stellaa's response. I am glad that someone is calling him for what he is and what he said. I don't believe that ignoring misogyny makes it go away anymore than I believe debating misogyny is an act of misogyny. Thank you for posting this.

I'm worried that there is too much time being wasted attacking people's use of language, rather than the substance of their arguments. If the poster in question is really such an idiot (I didn't read it) then surely he said some other idiotic things. His refusal to honestly respond to fingerlakes seems enough in itself.
Not that I condone what he said, it's just that people (especially on the right) lately have become so good at dissecting language for points of feigned outrage, They use this to hijack headlines and alter the debate away from the real substance.
To use the comments in the post for example: it would be easy to take Penrose to task for her "beagle balls" comments, and the use of the term Fucktard by a couple folks is incredibly insensitive to people with MR.
Maybe you guys are scholars of Wittgenstein and think that everything boils down to language, but if you aren't, and really want to have rigorous debate I would suggest avoiding this trap.

I'm pretty sure there's something in OS's terms of service that covers behavior like this. I generally agree that we posters should ignore it so as not to "feed the beast" which is what trolls want, but management should address it in some way. Stuff like that can destroy or at least severely damage an online site.

Sounds like that guy is a real dick.

It might be effective for like-minded individuals to compose a standard response, something like:

"I find this post (offensive/sexist/whatever) and without intellectual merit and so will no longer be reading your blog or comments you make on other threads."

Just that, over and over, might make the point more effectively than providing the reactions trolls want to provoke. I consciously try to avoid that level of complicity.

And what I originally meant to say but accidentally deleted when I was moving text around:

I'm sorry that was directed at you, Lorraine. The inability to express oneself civilly does seem to go hand in hand with the absence of anything intelligent to say.

Misogyny still rules the world in the 21st century, even though "hatred of women" is somewhat of a contradiction in a male-controlled world. Hatred of men, yes, but there's no word for that on a planet where women are victims of male violence daily worldwide.

As you state, women are body parts to many men, despite this being the 21st century. What does this say about men? The word "barbarians" comes to mind. What does this say about women who accept this labeling by a male-controlled society? The word "stupid" comes to mind.

Oh, gosh. Your last sentence says it all!!Women have so much power and don't even know it, a statement I've heard repeatedly from mainly older MEN! But in order to maintain male "superiority" and control, men must label all women "whores" and so justify disdaining them and keeping them from full participation in society. (Oh, the brains and talent wasted for centuries and centuries because of sexism!) The irony, of course, is that many men think about sex, fantasize about sex, wish for sex on a daily basis, yet women are whores.

As my 24 and 26 year old daughters have found, the latest generation of women to discover this, if a woman rebuffs a man, she's a whore, but if she gives him what he's desperate for, hoping for, wishing for, she's still a whore. So, why do stupid, stupid women put up with this? Is the sex that great? Really?! It's always great for men, but how many men know how to please a woman in bed, or even care whether they do or not? That sense of entitlement again....

If I could be 21 again, knowing what I know now, I would pursue my education and career much, much more earnestly, and spend far less time dealing with men. I did find the best man in the world, but I didn't have to look, I realize now. As I tell my daughters, if there's a good man for you in this lifetime, you'll find him some day. You don't even have to look. Spend your time developing your career rather than chasing men. And they do.

I just read the blog. I don't think the blogger is a troll, just someone who obviously can't handle criticism and lacks any ability to defend their point of view except personal attacks.

And I know this is crazy, but I feel that I have to apologize for the blogger being Canadian from the address on their profile.

Why should "Women" be riled up. Why not men. I greatly respect women, and on my posts, when I see where a women is put down, I make sure the people that do it, hear about it. Am I would expect the same thing from the women on OS if men where put down.

The guy is a prick and FLW dosen't deserve that kind of shit, no one does.

Way to go C. A.!

There are simply some posts I can't read and I don't shy away from coarse language. What gets me is an attitude of denigration in writing that has no literary/rhetorical merit or content that is often rewarded because it is "funny." One does not have to be an idiot and put others down to be funny.

Nothing to add, just adding my kudos to ChangeAgent and FLW. The blogger is an asshat.

Man am I glad your post wasn't literally reflective of your title. I was coming in here with guns blazing...but I'm glad (though saddened on the reason behind the post) it took a different turn.

I remember one day in high school, my Dad thought that I needed to act a certain way, so I would be like most men as a I grew up. I still don't remember the why behind that conversation...but I do remember my Mother taking me aside afterwards and telling me not to be like most men. "The majority of men are jerks, towards life and women...fall into the minority". I guess after me she had a talk with my Dad...because he came to me and said, "listen to your Mom". Now that I never forgot.

I'm sorry fingerlakeswandere had to endure that idiot.

Thank you all for the important discussion. Thanks for the sympathy directed at me. (I'm really okay. The comment made me want to make fun of the person who wrote it, but as I said in my other post, I was trying to practice civility.) And thanks to those who have expressed other views. All in all, this was a CIVIL discussion about uncivil discourse. And, of course, a big thank you to CHANGE AGENT for her tireless work on behalf of our humanity.

Nasty comments are the price we pay for the public forum. FLW, you are not any of the labels applied by this idiot. I think that I understand the point of view that so many see each other as no more than their genitailia. It's possible that I see things a little differently than a lot of men too since I find the actions and words of so many reprehensible and do not associate with those that spend their precious lives being fools about humanity in general.
On the other hand, I'm guilty of taking some comments too personally. Those that label all members of a group or race or gender in particular. I will never accept, for example, the statement that I am as capable of sexual assault as the person who assaulted me.

Someone called him out. Now those who know who this is will ignore him in the future, and he will go away.

I tend to be very civil and not call names. When someone is making claims that are not supported in any way, or is just calling names at me or others, I ask for evidence to make the expressed argument.

They can't do that—or won't—do that, and they use name-calling instead. Continued civility tends to get them crazy.

As my mother used to say. "kill 'em with kindness."

============
Or you could just try this:

Every man would give up his brain for a decent size. And I see you have.