Charlene Keeler

Charlene Keeler
Location
Huntington Beach, California, USA
Birthday
August 06
Bio
I teach composition and writing at some local universities. I'm a screenwriter. I do stand-up comedy under an alias. I shoplift vagina cream from CVS.

Recently I went on Tinder to help a psychologist friend gather data about the new online dating craze. Data was gathered both from the site itself as well as what users reported wanting while on there. Users were interviewed about their real life circumstances, and data is currently being compared.… Read full post »

Stretch Armstrong.
 
If you were like me, you tied up a leg with duct tape or string somewhere and tried to swing from it. Then you poked holes in it, then eventually tore it apart to prove that it was, in fact, destructable.
 
 kenner_stretch_armstrong
 
 

1. Declarations of love that don’t ever need to declared:  “I love my daughter sooo much.”

 

Analysis: They feel the need to convince someone like themselves, or perhaps felt a pang of love and instead of telling the beloved, they felt the whole world should be in on… Read full post »

DECEMBER 8, 2011 9:16PM

The Lakers still suck right now...

I've never been much of a Laker fan because I always felt like they were the Yankees of basketball. Too much celebrity and hype, not enough game, and even some of the games they've won seem fixed. 

But they're on TV all the time, so I learned to like them. And… Read full post »

After watching the hideous ESPN “Decision” show dedicated to LeBron James and his highly publicized dance of loyalty and betrayal, I don’t know what to think. I’ve only been watching NBA basketball for a few years, so on the one hand, I don’t know what I’m talking… Read full post »

JUNE 12, 2010 7:49PM

My Life in Bad Dates

Age 20:  I had longed to be with a guy named Kevin whom I worked with, and one night after a bunch of us went to a bar and got drunk, he asked if he could come home with me. So, naturally, as soon as we got to my apartment, IRead full post »

MAY 31, 2010 7:26PM

The Secret Lives of "Nice" Girls

I normally don’t go to parties, but I had to go to this one. I don’t understand the fascination with gathering everyone you know, getting drunk, and taking pictures of yourselves posing and smiling. The goal seems to be sending these photos to all attendees so that each person can post… Read full post »

MAY 31, 2010 7:19PM

Love and Kryptonite

When I first left my husband, I purchased three books. The first one said to get out there and start dating immediately. Love is like oxygen. The second book said to wait at least a year and to work on hobbies and other non-romantic interests. Love is like a rose garden.Read full post »

1. It never goes bad. Ever. Because of the way the can is constructed, the nozzle never allows in any air. You should also never put it in the refrigerator, as this will harden the cheese.

2. The can is relatively indestructible.  It can be bounced around. 

3. It works under… Read full post »