In 2010, I will work diligently to save the Navy Seals. But first, I have to research why the Navy Seals need saving.

Right now, most of my Navy Seals knowledge is sourced in the Hollywood film, Navy Seals, and the stories of a former Navy Seal I once worked with. His name was Rich. He was a meat cutter in the local A&P. He was a Vietnam Vet. I was his assistant. He once sliced the mangers neck-tie in two – while the man was wearing it – with one swipe of the bone-splitter knife. The manager turned white and ran from the room. They never argued again.

Rich told me about Navy Seal training. His troop would run five miles on the beach every morning. They would run with telephone poles on their shoulders – five men per pole. After the run, they jumped in the ocean and swam another five miles. That was the end of their morning warm-up. They ate breakfast and went on to their training.

They learned how to kill, quickly and silently. They learned how to survive impossible scenarios. They learned how to come out victorious, with enemy blood on their hands. They learned about surviving psychologically. Killing wasn’t personal. It was just a job. Death was their art. They should be proud of their killing.

A few years later, when I was living in San Diego, I met a woman who was married to a Navy Seal. She said it was difficult to live with him. He went to “work” for several days at a time—sometimes for weeks.

I sit home wondering if he’s out there killing someone. I never know where he is. He isn’t allowed to call me. I don’t sleep well while he’s away. When he finally comes home, he’s a little more distant. Sometimes, I’m afraid of him.

Isn’t that bad-ass? His own wife was afraid of him.

I’m not really sure why the Navy Seals need saving, but a lot of people have been Googling it: Save the Navy Seals.

So, I’m in; the Navy Seals unit is an important branch of the United States military, creating cut-throat super-killing soldiers that scare the shit out of the people they live with!

Sure, I’m a staunch pacifist. And I’m a Buddhist. And I almost became a monk! Still, I have to admit, I want that kind of human being working for me. It’s a pragmatism thing. 

So, I pledge to work to save the Navy Seals in 2010.

No, not really.