I mean, do you remember when it was just one mythically attractive woman, and one perfectly Calvin Klein modeled man, per film? We snickered at their quirky romantic problems and forgot about our unemployment for two hours. Those were the days.
Now it's four couples, with perfect bodies, perfect faces, and perfect lives, all trying to unravel cupid's Sudoku. It's too much!
It makes me feel like everyone has a great life, with minor pitfalls, while my life is an insecure struggle. An escapist fantasy is cool, don't get me wrong, but don't present the illusion as a commonplace reality and then rub my face in it.
LOOK! This is what TRUE LOVE is like, and you don't have it. Feel it. You are inadequate! So sad for you. Maybe these products will make you feel better...
You tell us we are flawed and then sell us the products you swear will fix us. It's a self sustaining lie-loop. Lie to us about our manufactured missing pieces, and then manufacture and sell us the parts you say we need. You conjure a disease to sell the cure. It's very clever--a complicated snake-oil salesmanship--but we've had enough.
So, let's make it a rule, Hollywood producers--you sexy corporate vampires, you. One manufactured couple per film. Deal?
TRAILER FAILURE: I will not be paying for this movie.
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