If there is one thing we can all agree on now that Barack Obama has won another term-- is that it was easily the most stressful and unnerving Presidential race in the history of our United States.
And whether or not you happen to be a Republican, Democrat, Independent, or none of the above-- we are all sighing a collective sigh of relief that it is all finally over, although post traumatic stress disorder will surely set in momentarily.
It was also one of the most surreal . . . as we were forced to reckon with bazaar, hateful and obscenely disgusting individuals who said truly insane and weird things about women, gays, minorities and anyone else who did not fit their self-righteous bill . . . making the job much too easy for late night comedians and for your every day Joe.
This news for this election was also oddly and extremely entertaining in a sick voyeuristic manner; making television shows like Homeland and even Breaking Bad nod us all to sleep by comparison, even though the content and unabashed paparazzi-like 24 hour coverage was absolutely unpalatable and disgusting at times.
The following is a list of 25 Things I learned from this election . . .
Perhaps it is not much different than yours, and perhaps entirely so different that you might wonder if we experienced the same process--but that's America for you.
1) The Republican party is much more interested in my vagina than I am.
2) There is a new demographic of people in this country known as "The Undecideds" and they are really, really, really, really, really weird.
3) I will never be able to watch "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" again with the same amount of chuckles, love and winsome laughter.
4) We need to pay more attention to our kids, because they will be the ones who will choose our rest homes one day . . . and a lot of them are really mad at us right about now.
5) I might be paranoid. The other day I thought that my underwear was a hanging chad. Speaking of Chad . . . I owe him a phone call.
6) At least a third of my 4,000 Facebook friends will have to be deleted, as many of their posts have been remarkably stupid, ignorant and hateful since this election began.
7) Polls are a useless, inane, ridiculous waste of our time, and they are insulting to our intelligence and a threat to our democracy.
8) Most people really don't give a damn about other people, they just want to keep what is theirs.
9) Some of the most annoying people I know are Democrats . . . and some of biggest perverts I know are Republicans.
10) Mother Nature is definitely a chick, and she has a way of getting things done.
11) Even though Obama has won a second term, I will still have to live with myself, and I will also still have to live with my family.
12) Life will be much simpler as I now have less friends, but the friends I still have will be much closer.
13) My parents are left-wing socialist Communist liberals . . . and they are insane. For example, they believe that Donald Trump was planted here by the Chinese.
14) Most so-called political pundits are inefficient, confused, inarticulate baffoons who need to get a real job.
15) I have seen the she-devil, and thy name is Michelle Bachman.
16) My boyfriend is a keeper, because he has put up with this journalist during this entire Election cycle, which has been far more taxing than any pre-menstrual cycle. And that's sayin' a lot.
17) The people of New York are frickin' troopers, and Mayor Bloomberg has some balls.
18) My 13 year-old daughter rocks! And she is more articulate and real than most adults that I know-- but then again that's not sayin' a whole lot.
19) Eddie Munster is alive and well . . . and his first name rhymes with Saul, and his last name rhymes with Lion.
20) I officially have more fantasies about politicians than rock stars. For example, the sound of Bill Clinton's voice helps me through sleepless nights better than Mick Jagger's. Who knew?
21) A lot of people are "one-issue" voters . . . a lot of those people don't understand much about that "one issue" . . . and many of those "one issues" are completely skewed, polarized and misrepresented by the media.
22) Latinos and Blacks really know how to show up. And they are here to stay.
23) I will now have to "get a life" now that the election is over, and I don't know if I can do that.
24) When you look up class in the dictionary, you will find a photo of Michelle Obama.
25) At least 47 percent of the American population are not victims--- they are smart, active, voting mother f----kers.