Did it turn into “any job?” Did visions of painting Monet-like splashes of autumn along the Seine, being a TV talk show host, herding cats, counting neon green butterflies, baking the perfect chocolate chip cookie or walking through the quad while the students sneaked looks at you with eyes that said, “You have touched my life!” ---did all that turn into “any job?”

Maybe you wanted to be Joan Walsh or Cary Tennis or Oprah or Chase Utley or even John Boehner’s boss or tanning booth vendor. Did all that turn into “any job?”

There is no one path to any dream job. Because if there was---we’d all take it.

But there are clues on what NOT to do. Here, from the research on “How to Find Work When There Are No Jobs,” are 10 ways to NOT get your dream job.

If you know what NOT to do . . . . . then maybe, just maybe. . . .

These will prompt thought on what you DO want to do.

Maybe you’ll find 10 more.

Or maybe even this. Maybe this  will remind you that a dream doesn’t have to always die. . . .

10 Ways to NOT

Get Your Dream Job

1. BE QUALIFIED. Everyone is qualified. The real unemployment number is 20% (Catagory U6---Dept of Labor) Rely on qualifications and you’re cooked.

2. DEPEND ON YOUR RESUME. That’s like eating a menu instead of the meal.

3. AVOID “COURTESY” JOBS. The ones offered to be polite. Or fulfill a political need. Doesn’t mean you  shouldn’t apply for them. You can buy lottery tickets too. Just know what they are.

4. TRUST THE INTERNET. Think you knew that? Then how much time did you Spend looking at a Career Job Board? The estimates of jobs landed from career boards? 4%.

5. SCARE SOMEBODY. Dumbing yourself down has now become a very common Practice. Experience is often NOT a virtue. It’s an obstacle. And the people who HAVE the jobs want to keep them. So make sure your personal THREAT METER is dialed way down.

6. LIVE IN THE PAST. The process of job search is set up like a circus tunnel of mirrors. What’s asked for is what you USED TO DO. But what is really wanted is what you WILL DO in the future. Include the future when you tell your story.

7. BOW TO THE MARQUEE NAME. The marquee name will almost always win.Not because they are better than you. Performance in ANY job is based on the unique combination of skills, talents and knowledge that you bring to the table.

But a “marquee name” is a safer bet for that other person in the room---the one making the decision. There are courageous decision makers out there. But they are rare. Most opt for safety. Not courage.

8. IGNORE YOUR COMPETITION.  Can you explain why you’re different?

9. SAY EVERYTHING. There’s only one question. “What can you do for those decision makers better, faster and cheaper than anyone?”

10. JUST THINK POSITIVE. Remember the “Stockdale Principle.” In your mind at all times are two contradictory thoughts: First, “Yes I am in a prison camp” and Second “I will get out.” The positive attitude alone

means you could be missing something,

There is no one path to any dream. Maybe you’ll decide that the dream job is no job and figure out a way to make that happen.

I’m guessing most folks don’t remember the guy in the clip below. It was a TV show that lasted for about a minute and a half. But when the “suit” asked the cool guy on a motorcycle where he was going, the cool guy answered: “Oh, I don’t know, wherever I end up I guess.”

The suit gives him a knowing nod. Motorcycle guy zooms off into the sunset.

And perhaps, knowing what to avoid, even found a dream.