I can't just do one thing. I wish I could. I try to do a little bit of everything. I have all sorts of non-sense in my head. Book and poems to be written, paintings and drawings to be made, monologues and scenes to be acted, songs to be sung and played on the ukulele. Okay that last one is a little bit far fetched, seriously I am no musician. No really its true.  

I can sing a song but I can't play an instrament. It has always been one of those things that I have loathed about myself. It would be so nice to play a little ditty that way I wouldn't have to always rely on someone else to provide music for myself. Or worse yet the dreaded karaoke versions of songs. Seriously when you have to use them as a crutch, you learn to loath them.

Today in music appreciation we learned about Beethoven, what I learned was that he wasn't only just a great musician but he was liberal in thinking (not political party.) When hearing about his life and times I thought to myself (sounds like myself.) He had friends and family, and the lovers that man had, but he was full of loneliness. Except he didn't think of it as lonliness he called it Restlessness. 

The same happened when I learned about Vincent Van Gogh. I became obsessed with our similarities. I started to wonder if I was put into an asylem would I be able to do 5 paintings a day? If so what would they look like. What sorts of things would inspire me.

Lastly I compared myself to writer and extraordinary woman Sylvia Plath.  The things she dared to write were just great; even if they were utterly depressing. "Dying is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well. I do it so it hurts like hell. I do it so it feels real. I guess you can say I've a call."

 Well this post isn't about me wanting to do 500 things but I only get around to doing 100 of them poorly; which in case you were wondering is true. If you were to ask me about my screen printing I would tell you it was great while it lasted, I made two really great shirts but after that I lost interest; not interested I no longer saw anything that I wanted to screen print.

I'm sure many of you feel the way that I do. Torn between 500 different things. How do you know what things to appreciate and which ones to pursue. I know which thing I will pursue professionally, well school wise, it's the acting.  Thats what I not only love to watch, but to do. I like to think that my willingness to try/fail at other things will help the acting. That way I could use my experience in trying to do something for the acting. That way I can draw from my many experiences while I am on stage.

 Jack of all trades, master of none, and isn't it a shame... yes and no. Depends on the day.